Sunday, May 03, 2009

Nagging "Wolverine" questions

Now that we've had time to absorb just how badly "Wolverine" sucks (99% of people who actually care if it was good or not went before Sunday) and the more-important "is the movie any good?" objective review is out of the way... now for the nitpicky movie-geek stuff regarding all the things that just don't make sense.

This of course comes with a hellaciously big SPOILER WARNING!!!


-Allowing for the sake of argument that pre-surgery Wolverine's bone-claws can be chalked up to an outgrowth of his accelerated healing powers (i.e. if his body can regenerate cells and tissue so quickly, it can also rapidly-generate bone growths) where exactly do they "go" when he's done with them? Do they fall off? He can't just absorb them back in - the matter would have to go somewhere.

-Speaking of claws, why would coating his main skeleton with metal cause his claws to take the shape of perfectly set, filed and weighted knife-blades?

-For THAT matter, if his claws are biological WHY do we see the blades set into his forearms on a spring-and-hinge system in his x-rays in "X-Men?"

-Given that the story basically "reveals" that the infamous Three Mile Island disaster was actually a cover-up for the damage caused during a brawl between Wolverine, Sabertooth and Weapon XI, that places the events of this story in and around about 1979. Given that, where did Stryker get all his brand-new looking computer tech? (His team's guns and other gear also look pretty post-90s, overall.)

-The opening scene's subtitle informs us that young-Wolverine's family's estate is in "Northwest Territories Canada" in (IIRC) 1864. The country we call Canada did not exist by that name until 1867, and the Northwest Territories weren't PART of it until 1870.

-No one in this film calls Victor Creed "Sabertooth," but that was the "real name" of the Sabertooth encountered in "X-Men," so it stands to reason that this is the same guy. He never brings up that Wolverine is his brother in that film, though you'd imagine he'd be surprised to see him after all this time. Now, maybe he ALSO got shot with a magic amnesia-bullet at some point, fine... but don't you think this connection might've come up when he and Toad were having their minds looked-around-in/controlled by powerful psychics (or am I misrecalling that part?)

-Evidently, Silverfox's powers of psychic suggestion are so strong that her "orders" are still in effect at a range of what would have to be hundreds of miles AND after her death. If so, why is Stryker spending so much time making a remote-control ninja frakenmutant when he has someone already in his employ who can turn ANYONE into an unquestioning soldier/assassin/whatever by tapping them on the shoulder?

-If Emma (Frost?) Silverfox's skin turns into literal diamonds - the hardest substance on earth - couldn't she have slipped her cage any time by simply dragging her hand back-and-forth across the bars really fast? It's not like any WEAPON they have can harm her.

-Professor X contacts young Cyclops while he's IN Three-Mile Island and picks him up there, which means that both of them know that the "meltdown" was actually a mutant fight. Wolverine, though he's lost his memory, is ON said Island when he wakes up and must at least know he was "on hand" shortly-after and likely during whatever went down there. Apparently, the "coincidence" of this has never once come up between these three men when they meet again years later; and somehow I doubt "the first thing I remember is waking up in the remains of 3 Mile Island" would NOT be mentioned during his various psych-sessions at X Mansion.

-Agent Zero has the mutant power to rip-off scenes from "Equilibrium," which makes him a master gunfighter. He employs these skills when sent to hunt a freshly-escaped Wolverine. During said hunt, we eventually know that Stryker already has super-special bullets that can both pierce Wolverine's skeleton AND give him amnesia. Agent Zero is NOT using these bullets because...?

-How did they actually convinced him that Silverfox was dead, since his feral senses of hearing and smell would tell him IMMEDIATELY that her heart was not stopped and that it wasn't her blood.

-Weapon XI/Deadpool's optic-blast can cut through solid stone AFTER he has been beheaded, but it doesn't go all the way through Victor Creed?

- Young Cyclops is blindfolded the whole time and never actually sees Wolverine, fine. But all the OTHER kids who go off with Xavier alongside him DID. You'd think at some point he'd ask about how the cages got opened, and that one of the dozen or so others would mention "gut with knife-hands did it," yet this never comes up when he meets Wolverine again as an adult?

...did I miss any?


tyra menendez said...

it's called making it up as you go along, with post-it notes about some of the events in the comics.

the bone claws where introduced in the comics. originally, the claws were in the GLOVES, but later artists and writers started them coming out of his hands. so then, years later when magneto strips the adamantium from wolverine's skeleton, the big shock moment at the end of that story line was that he had bone claws, meaning he always had them. the comics also tended to indicate the claws to me more rounded, around the early 90's, not just foot long steak knives. they also come out of the top of hands, not through the knuckles, which is retarded (yeah, sever the parts of your hand holding them together). the spring action in the x-rays from the first movie relates to the original idea that the claws where implanted during the weapon x program.

there's so much unexplained retconning in this movie as to make dc's continuity look expertly crafted.
the original creators of sabertooth always planned him as wolverine's father, which is why he knew so much about him, why they had so many similarities, and why sabertooth would always find wolverine on the same day, every year (his birthday). of course, "origin" completely eliminated that idea and made wolverine's real name "james howlette" and his place of birth not canada, but upstate new york. after the accidental killing of his father with the bone claws, he and his... basically live in nanny, flee to canada and hide out in mining camp, taking the name of the now dead grounds keeper, logan (who was set up as a red-hearing, in the first quarter of the plot).

so, yeah, as far as i know, that's where they got it wrong, which is why it's stupid: trying to cram in too many details, ignoring the continuity of the previous movies, trying to make new and unexpected "twists", and just plain old bad writing.

what hollywood always seems to forget about geeks, is that we're thinkers: we don't just accept anything you try to spoon feed to us. because we obsess about these fictional worlds and want to believe in them, we demand that the stories be believable. we also know bullshit when we see it.

ZillA said...

Those may not be a big deal, but we noticed them:

- When Agent Zero shows his badass abilities with the pistols in the beginning of the movie, he empies both clips, throws the guns into the air, inserts new clips and shoots again. But that would never happen, because he HAS TO pull back the slide and release it in order to start shooting.

- Gambit interrupts fight between Wolverine and Sabretooth, and it looks like he HELPS Sabretooth. Later, we find out that Gambit wants Victor dead, or something like that. Why couldn't he help Wolverine beat Sabretooth up when he had the chance? He clearly saw who Wolverine was fighting against.

- Stryker shoots Wolverine with adamantine bullets, then he proceeds to Silverfox. She makes him aim at himself and says that she should'n make him pull the trigger. Well, she's right, she shouldn't. He shot all six bullets of his revolver at Wolverine.

PS: Also, Deadpool really reminded me of Baraka from Mortal Kombat for some reason :)

Magnus782 said...

I had a few nitpicks with the film such as continuity errors with the previous films. For example, it's never explained as to why Sabertooth doesn't remember Wolverine in the first X-Men film. Unlike Wolverine, I don't recall Sabertooth getting amnesia at the conclusion of the film.

I'm not trying be racist (I'm a black male of course), but what was up with casting Agent Zero/Maverick as an Asian? Clearly, anyone who has read the comics knows that he's Caucasian. Plus, the film didn't do any justice to his character.

Lastly, CGI-de-aged Patrick Stewart looked totally fake at the end of the film. At least in ''X-Men: The Last Stand'' the CGI-de-aged Stewart and Ian McKellen looked more convincing.

Anonymous said...

1. The're MAGS not clips. clips are the metal things the m1 garand uses.
2. The very last bulket in a MAG cocks the slide and hammer back. And the lockec back slide automatically comes back and chambers a round when inserting a mag. now we have a chambered round AND a cocked hammer. you must only cock it for the very first mag. Even my airsoft m1911 .45 ACP does this.

-kenpai the airsofting unregistered user.

Mveculous said...

I had a major problem with the swords in Deadpool's arms.

What exactly is the practicality of having a rod of unbreakable metal running through your arm that is nearly the entire length of your damn arm? How would you bend your arms when the damn things werent out?

Though I suppose if reattaching your head is easy, taking out your magical bullshit swords cuz they suck wouldnt be that hard for you.

To quote Deadpool himself.

"Shh. My common sense is tingling."

Jabrwock said...

A bit of a nitpick. While the "Northwest Territories" did not exist in 1864 in the way you think of them nowadays, the area *was* referred to as the "North-Western Territory". And "Canada" did exist, although it was a province. The two *were* separate though, since the NWT was still considered Hudson's Bay Company turf.

Although I guess it depends *where* in the NWT the family lived, because at that time, it was two regions, Rupert's Land, and the North-Western Territories.

Still, can't expect FOX to get details like that correct, considering everything else, right? :)

The Prodigy said...

I knew there would be more reason for me to not watch this movie other than the fact that I'm not a fan of Wolverine as a character.

I mean, seriously:

Sabretooth and Wolverine are related?

Deadpool gets his face messed up by the organization instead of as a side effect?

Emma Frost turning into diamond?

Cyclops even being in this movie at all?

Are you serious? I can't do it. I can't sit through that level of plotline mishaps and lack of continuity. Still, it made money, because people would rather have a movie tell them a story than have some decent continuity. I'm still not going to watch it, even on cable.

Anonymous said...

Most of these are valid nitpicks except for those involving how much Professor X knows about Wolverine. The conversations between Magneto and the professor in X2 make clear that Xavier knows much more about Stryker and his connection to Logan than he's willing to tell him. He might have told Scott to keep quiet about it as well or even kept him in the dark, and we don't know how many of the other prisoners stayed on at the X Mansion. This also might explain why he wouldn't tell him about Sabertooth since that would open up a whole other can of worms. Instead he points him in the direction of Alkali Lake so he might find out himself.

Also as for the adamantium bullet question, there is the possibility that these weren't made until just after the weapon X procedure when they still had the adamantium hot and gooey. After all, Stryker wasn't counting on having to hunt down Logan. He may have figured Agent Zero would be capable of incapacitating Logan (certainly one of the missiles should have been capable of incinerating him if he hadn't ridden out of the barn in time).

Lightbunny said...

One thing that's been driving me a little nutty since the Escapist piece. That's not Emma Frost. That's Diamond Lil.

Joshua said...

Being nitpicky, three mile island happened in march of 1979 but they were using the HMMWV (humvee) as a military vehicle. Unfortunately, the HMMWV wasn't even a concept until July 1979. not to mention all of the late 70's era pickups being used that SHOULD have been brand new vehicles back then. Most of them looked pretty damn ragged (even for logging vehicles. i mean come on, they can be hard on trucks but random colored body panels?)

As for the scene with Zero reloading both weapoins by throwing them in the air, the slides were not in a locked back position. so this would imply that Zero never fired the final round in order to prevent from having the slight delay in reusing the weapons. But the part that annoys me is he had at least 2 other handguns AT HIS SIDES. The only purpose of doing the tricky-dick poor cgi reload sequence was fan-service. It would have been far quicker just to grab the two firearms at his sides and use those.

A couple of fun quotes, some fun scenes, but all in all not very well done. It really irritates me when i can pick out all the CGI scenes without trying. at least make me guess sometimes.

Bob said...


Sorry, man, it's supposed to be Emma Frost (the production notes all credit her as Emma, as did the imdb and the final credits.) Dumb, yes, but there.

Vincent said...

A few other issues you didn't mention:

- According to the comics, an adamantium bullet would NOT pierce Wolverine's skull. Adamantium cannot pierce/cut adamantium.

- Where did the adamantium bullet go? Did Wolvie's body push it out or absorb it? Does Wolvie have a permanent hole in his skull now ? (A hole which didn't show up on the x-ray in X-Men 1).

- How could Stryker be sure that the bullet would wipe Wolvie's memories? How could he be sure that the bullet would hit the memory center of Wolvie's brain, instead of another part of the brain, like the motor cortex?

- If movie's climax occurs in 1979, how old is Cyclops supposed to be in the X-men movies, which are set in the 'not too distant future'? How friggin' old must Gambit be! In the comics, Gambit was around the same age as Cyclops, Jean, and the other adult X-men.

- How would Wolvie have been fooled into believing Silverfox's death, when she had no wounds? Wouldn't he have checked her body to see what happened to her?

- Why did they have Wolvie volunteer for the adamantium procedure? In the comics, he was abducted, which was a much more interesting story.

- In the comics, Wolvie's amnesia/fake memories was caused by a villain named Psi-Borg, who used his psychic powers to manipulate the minds of Wolvie and his fellow Team X members. How cool is that! So why the need for the dumb adamantium bullet explanation?

- Why did they screw with the timelines? In the comics, Wolvie lived with Silverfox pre-WW1. But in the movie they are living together in the '70s.

- In the comics, Wolverine's character is defined by his ongoing struggle against his inner demons, against the feral rage that burns within him. This should have been the central theme of the movie. Instead, the movie was all about Wolvie seeking revenge on Sabretooth. Bad choice. The biggest conflict that Wolverine faces is not with any particular foe, it is with himself and his own animalistic nature. The revenge plot was simplistic, and the filmmakers missed the chance to tell a deep story about Wolvie's inner emotional conflicts.

- Where was the blood? The violence? The comics are full of brutal action, which really conveys the true nature of Wolvie's animal impulses. There should have been dismemberment, multiple decapitations, disembowelments, etc. There should have been a level of violence on par with the movie '300' or maybe even Rambo. Not for the sake of gore, but for the sake of showing the brutal nature of the characters.

- As for Wolvie's bone claws, they are just a permanent part of him. They just retract into his forearms when he's not using them, just as a cat's claws can retract into its paws. They are controlled by muscles/ligaments, just like any other part of the body.

GamerFromJump said...

How would adamantium bullets even work anyway?

All modern firearms have rifling, a spiral pattern in the barrel that imparts stabilizing spin to the round. The round swages (squeezes) or obturates (expands) to meet the rifling. Adamantium can't do either one (its big deal is that it is practically unalterable unless brought to melting point). How the heck would you shoot with accuracy?

viagra online said...

well maybe you are right with some issues about this, but you must to take seriously some changes and some stuff that not be changes en this movie.

joseph said...

WORST COMIC BOOK MOVIE EVER MADE. Not just because it was a complete butchering of the story and characters therein but because it was successful enough that it won't stop.