Friday, August 07, 2009

Quickly about G.I. Joe...

Just saw. Review will probably be up at Escapist tomorrow afternoon. But, very briefly:

This is one nutty movie, and I think it's the most "action" fun I've had at any movie this summer unless you want to count "Up" as action. It's as malnutritious as a giant bowl of Count Chocula, but it's also every bit as fun and nostalgiac. The whole thing plays out like they dumped a bucket of Joe figures on the floor with a couple of little kids, TRANSCRIBED the ensuing afternoon's make-believe session ("And then Snake Eyes was there! And then Storm Shadow came, and they had a fight! And then the two girls had a fight! And one of them could be invisible! And then Storm Shadow had a jet-pack! And then...") and spent $175 Million making a 90-minute movie out of it. I regard this as high praise... I'm not sure everyone else will.

But I think EVERYONE should at least go see it, because I like this as a "template" of how to do these better than "Transformers." Ninja-with-a-jetpack wins every time ;)

6 comments:

KayMen said...

Allright allright! I'll go see it.. Though I feel like im setting myself up for another disaster...

Jabrwock said...

90 minutes eh? Sounds like they get that part better than TF right off the bat. Action movies that are mainly full of BLAM and KAPLOWEE should NOT be 2 1/2 hours.

Joseph Valencia said...

Nothing can convince me to pay $8 to see another over-budgeted movie inspired by action figures. Sorry. :-/

Vincent said...

Oh dude, saw GI Joe and I almost walked out. Easily the worst film of the year.

The notion of making a film that's just one long 90 minute fight scene is very appealing to me, but only if the action is exciting, well-choreographed, and suspenseful. GI Joe had none of these qualities. And in almost every action scene, the outcome was so predictable with no sense of tension.

And the dialogue... Unspeakably bad.

Partway through the film it dawned on me "If I were 6 years old, this would probably be my favorite film ever. But now I'm 25 and big explosions just don't cut it. I NEED good choreography. I need creativity.

And then another thing dawned on me: the movie is one long toy commercial. Notice how each new scene introduces a new vehicle. Look, the underground drill machine, now a jet pack, now an SUV with forward ramming bar and side-mounted missiles, now a cool artic sled, now a supersonic jet, and finally, combat submarines! Look for these on shelves in a toy store near you!

And the title: Rise of Cobra? How did Cobra 'rise'? Sure, the organization was born, but only once the bad guys were almost completely vanquished and on the verge of being jailed. I was hoping for a big Cobra vs Joes battle, but Cobra began with a whimper in the end.

And the final showdown between Snake Eyes and that white ninja was almost a complete ripoff of Maul-Obi Wan fight from The Phantom Menace, complete with the deep circular shaft and the badguy's double bladed weapon

RocMegamanX said...

I might not want to see this movie, because I heard that neither Destro nor COBRA COMMANDER(of all people) have their trademark masks.

Cobra Commander is not Cobra Commander without his mask! Do they actually give him a face, like the Inspector Gadget movie gave Dr. Claw a face?

Bob said...

Roc-

As to Destro and Cobra Commander...

If you haven't managed to have CC spoiled for you by now, go see it. I can't promise you'll like his final "look" (it's sort of a combination of his mirrored-mask and battle-armor looks) but if nothing else it's an interesting (if "long way 'round") manner of setting him up. As to Destro... he has a couple different "looks" throughout the film, but by the time the credits roll he looks EXACTLY like Destro.

Just don't go in expecting to see Cobra - the organization - or any of the bad guys looking "traditional" until basically the VERY end. The title isn't being cute, the movie is a "where did Cobra come from?" origin story (kinda like how Joker was teased at the VERY end of Batman Begins.)