Wednesday, April 28, 2010

POLL: What Will Spidey's Fanservice Be?

Let's do another one of these, why the hell not?

Stuff is happening right now in the production of Sony's fast-tracked Spider-Man reboot. Why aren't we hearing about it? Who knows, but it's possibly because most studios with superhero movies in production are holding the usual minor leaks until they know how to frame it in the context of "Iron Man 2" (i.e. "do we tell them that Sinestro is next year's Whiplash, or next year's Whiplash-done-well?")

So, we're probably going to hear Spider-news sooner than later. My guess is that ONE of the earliest things "leaked" is some minor (or maybe not) element that's being "rethought" from the previous films that will actually "fix" something fans didn't like about Raimi's version; the idea being to "buy" some positive buzz ("Cue Cullen" aka "And The Fandom Rejoiced" for you TV Tropers.)

So, what do we think it'll be? What bone will Sony Pictures throw to fandom in hopes of distracting from how bad the rest of it will still sound?

A.) Mechanical Webshooters.

B.) No raised webbing on the costume and/or web-netting under the arms.

C.) ONE supporting-actor retained from earlier series (like Simmons still being Jameson.)

D.) "Geek pinup" actress, likely from a canceled Joss Whedon show, cast as female lead.

E.) The villain is... THE LIZARD, since you never actually got him last round!

F.) Previously-utilized villain returns, but now done "right" (i.e. Goblin in his purple tunic.)

G.) "That's Eddie Brock, he just transfered here."


Chris said...

Would it be too selfish to ask for: H.) All Of The Above


Foxed said...

I imagine G is a no-brainer for them. The original issue with Raimi was that he didn't want to do Venom, so didn't set it up in the first two movies.

... I'm going to go with C, and specifically Simmons.

Anonymous said...

I'd love for it to be Simmons, as he may well be my favorite casting choice from the Raimi films, but I'm willing to bet if it's going to be anything, it's going to be A.), if only because such a decision would serve to make it as clear as humanly possible that this new "Spider-Man" is distinct from the Raimi films.

Jeppe said...

Hmmm.. How about what's allready out..? It is just too subtile to notice..

1: It is a spider-man reboot!

2: Parker will actually look 16.. People seemed to want this, without realizing how retarded it will look..

3: Spider-Man will now be as dark and gritty as Batman..

I do not think they will bring out the goblin the first time around.. They need something to sell the sequal with..

Filmduck said...

Well I hope to god it is not A. Terrorize me if you must, but I never liked the mechanical webshooters.

Im guessing C will happen, again probably with Simmons. I would love G as well.

Dave said...

They'll keep the organic webshooters, stupid though they are. They spent how long trying to explain their addition to the comics?

Here is what convinces me they know what they are doing:

Humour. one of the reason Spiderman 3 was such an abortion was because it became readily apparent than the two major antagonists (Franco and grace) were both better at playing spiderman than the actor actually playing him.

If sony can show me a trailer with spiderman cracking jokes and spiderman, they'll have got me sold.

But if they really want to get people on side: Gwen stacy. No mention of mary jane at all. Make peter's love interest a hot blonde who can die at the climax of the second movie.

I'm hoping they don't use goblin in this one. Using the biggest villain first and then killing him off is a relic of the days when you figured you weren't going to get a second film. And unfortunbately for everyone involved, it is no longer 1989.

Let's take some queues from Favreau and Nolan and acually worldbuild this time.

Dave said...

Oh and incidnetally I hope they DON'T use simmons. His JJ was beyond one dimensional. Funny, but shallow.

Ed Asner will always be Jona Jameson. Failing him, get another aging character actor.

Bob said...

Gwen Stacy and MJ are almost a given, at this point. Sony openly wants this to be their version of "Twilight," and the scuttle for awhile - i.e. before everyone stopped hearing anything - was that the running story was a romantic "rectangle" involving Peter, Gwen, MJ and either Flash Thompson or teenaged Brock.

Sounds GREAT, huh? Oh, but nobody will dance, so that'll immediately make it good, right? ;)

Nick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sylocat said...

A: Possibly.
B: Probably.
C: If they're stupid enough to do a reboot in the first place, they're too stupid to do C.
D: Another possibility, but I doubt they'll put anyone good as MJ. They'll probably put the geek bait as Gwen Stacy, or a villainess.
E: Doubtful.
F: Most likely. Although their definition of "done right," as we've already seen, is light-years from ours.
G: Ohhhhhhh yeah. We're definitely in for that.

Dave said...


Seriously? I understand this is an emotional issue for you but MUST you go back to the misaimed strawmen yet again?

It is really that hard to take the (quite excellent) advice you've given others?

The dancing wasn't what made spiderman 3 bad. It was a symptom of what made spiderman 3 bad. That being Raimy's supreme self-indulgeance and only superficial understanding of the characters. The dancing, the air humping, the refusal to ask TM to make proper human facial expressions...the casual casting aside of major characters for no reason, the overreliance on deus ex machina...The complete and utter mishandling of 3 classic spiderman villains simultaneously, it goes on.

All those are the relization of flaws that were present sinc ethe first film. And part of what makes 3 so bad is that now that you know what to look for, 1 and 2's weak points become that much more visible.

Bob said...

Where were the 3 classic villains? I remember Sandman, he certainly counts - but Harry didn't really become anything other than just himself plus gadgets; and the only way Venom would count as a "classic" enemy is if the only other guys in the room were Big Wheel and Will O'Wisp ;)

JJ said...

While I have little faith in Sony's ability to properly guide this franchise, I must ask you, Bob, why are you so hostile to a focussing on Peter's romantic life? It has been a major part of the book since the mid-60s! Honestly, the only "hard" info that has come out about this project makes me think of John Romita Sr. coming onto ASM after the first 2-3 years of its run.

Also, isn't it a good idea to make something that appeals to girl geeks (ie competes with Twilight)?

Bob said...

I'm not hostile to a romantic angle, I'm hostile to a cynical, short-sighted cash-grab like scuttling a HUGELY successful franchise in order to rebuild it into a knock-off of ANOTHER franchise that's probably already peaked.

There's not a single aspect of this production that doesn't reek of pure profit-mindedness. Do they really think better stories will come from high school? No, they think that a cast of teens will be cheaper. Do you suppose there's a bunch of people on the Sony production stuff who're aching to see a Peter/MJ/Gwen/Whoever story explored? No, they think teen-romance is cheaper to stage than action, and that Twilight is big right now.

JJ said...

Well, when you put it like that I can't really argue. Makes sense. I just don't like all the thinly-veiled chick-bashing that breaks out among male geeks whenever Twilight/romance in general comes up.

Vincent said...

I just really hope the web-shooting remains organic. Mechanical web-shooters are so retarded. Peter has the powers of a SPIDER, but he can't make his own webs? That'd be like if Wolverine's claws were just mechanical extensions from his gloves (as originally intended). A wolverine without organic claws is like a spider without organic web: lame.

Anonymous said...

Im personally hoping for at least A, C, E, F and G to be utilized... They should take time to set Brock up for venom though... And the Hobgoblin came before the Green Goblin, so if they manage to do that, Ill be estatic... and if the movie doesnt suck, im hoping they seriously dont attempt to cash in on twilight.

I hope sony at least has the brains to realize their stakes here, in that if they do mistep, that there will be no possibility of any sequels doing well.

Dave said...

@ Vincent

In that case he should be swinging from webs that come out of his ass. Also the webs don't work like that.

The suspension of disbelief that an irradiated spider bite can cause superpowered spinnarets to materialize on a part of the body they never appear on in nature, even in species that HAVE them, is much greater than a child genious coming up with a novel application of tech that already exists.

Really, the organic web shooters are an ass pull. They raise MORE questions that simply allowing that a brilliant and driven loner could create some unique equipment on his own. The latter being pretty much a superhero staple by now.

Filmduck said...

You are correct that the organic web shooters make no sense but spiderman is not one of those realistic comics. It couldnt even work if you tried. Thus in a movie that only has 2 hours to tell its story, why waste even five minutes of explanation on how Spiderman shoots his webs' when you can ignore the details all together. That way the audience doesnt really need to think about it at all because neither is believable.

Did u really say the tech exists for a mechanical web shooter that allows one to leap from building to building and hide it under a costume? Or did you just mean it does in the comic because... well never mind, just never mind.

Ultima Black Mage said...

They'll most likely go with the Lizard. Personally I wish these comic book movies would be made by the fans of the source material like Watchmen.

Dave said...


For the same reason you need to specify that batman doesn't have any superpowers. Its an aspect of the character. the idea of spiderman as a working class hero is part of the appeal.

Bruce Wayne and tony start can buy components for their supersuits by the truckload. Peter is a student. His superhero lifestyle is not only a physical burden, but a financial one as well. And taking the 5 minutes to show peter being struck by a moment of brillaince and constructing the webshooters could have easily fit in the space of the incredibly awful lunchroom webjaculation scene.

The animated series in the 90s literally dispensed with it in a single line of dialog in the 3rd season, ffs.

Bob said...

For what it's worth, apparently they dispensed with the mechanical shooters in the original movie primarily because they didn't want to deal with "where is he keeping the extra cartridges."

In fact, in almost all the scripts leading up to Raimi's version, the solution was to have both: the webbing was biological, but he built and wore the mechanical shooters to control the flow. I think they even made the props for it but never put it in the final movie. Remember, at first it just "comes out" when he's at lunch, then later on we see him practicing and suddenly he can fire it in controlled bursts or weblines. Presumably, the "making the shooters" bit would've gone between those.

(And if you think the lunchroom scenes had icky implications, the last pre-shooting script had him waking up from "weird dreams" with webbing all over the place.)

Vincent said...


You're really overthinking this. As I already said, Peter has the powers of a SPIDER. Y'know, those animals that make webs?

Guess what, the claws of a real-life wolverine don't extrude from the backs of its hands, so I guess (by your reasoning) Wolverine's claws really shouldn't be a natural part of his body either.

If being bitten by a radioactive spider can cause a human to acquire super strength, super agility, a 'spider-sense' (real spiders don't even have a sixth sense ffs), and the ability to stick to walls, is it really too implausible for web-slinging to be part of the package?

And the reason why the webs would come out of Peter's hands is because that's where humans are most dexterous. Real-life spiders produce webbing from their asses because that's where they're most dexterous (i.e., surely you have seen how spiders gracefully manipulate their webs with their hind legs). Being bitten by a radioactive spider would make a human develop web-shooting abilities in his most dexterous region, namely the hands.

And let's face it, if the original comics had depicted Peter with organic web-shooting abilities, NO ONE would ever have thought to say "He really should produce his web artificially, with mechanical web-shooters".