Friday, August 27, 2010

Escape to the Movies: "Piranha 3D & Centurion"


And, yes, we talk a little more about "The Expendables."

"Intermission" is a recap of Neil Marshall's movies, and some choice quotes from my interview with him and his wife, actress Axelle Carolyn.

27 comments:

Rarer Monsters said...

Good work as always Bob, but I feel like, whatever else you're doing, you should be bringing attention to the untimely death and majestic canon of Satoshi Kon. We're talking about a director whose movies have the creativity, storytelling prowess, mindbending visuals, and superb direction to make Inception look like The Expendables, whose sci-fi anime put him directly into the Escapist's purview, and who was, himself, a huge movie geek. I'm sure you make your stuff far enough in advance that this wouldn't have been on the menu, but at some point I think a retrospective on his works is in order.

A Tribe Called Helloween said...

Goddamit, Bob. You are starting to fucking piss me off with the Expendables. You said your piece. The rest of the world loves it and you don't. Get over it and shut up.

jeans44 said...

This is almost as bad as your Expendables review at least your didnt bitch about scott pilgram tanking again, are you trying to piss people off? "DA HUMAN RACE IS BAD 4 NOT WATCIN SCOT PILGRUM, THIS MOVIE SUX AND UR DUMB 4 LIKUNG IT!" and then next week "THIS MOVIE GOT TITS!!!11"

JDude said...

Hey, you two posting above me:

Get a grip, and get it through your head that MovieBob's logic is perfect. He's entirely right about the Expenables being shit, and about why Piranha achieves the B-movie feel so much better than it does, namely that it does at all. If you disagree with him, you're an ignorant fool, and that's that.

Craig Ballard said...

Why do people think you are only saying Piranha 3D is good bad because of naked women. Is that all they heard during the review? If so then that reflects more on them then it does you.

Clayton said...

Can't say I blame him for talking out against the strawmen trying feebly to defend one of the worst examples of cinema in the last five years. Centurion sounds interesting even if I've never heard of it (plus Fassbender is making a name for himself; next year he's going to be in Cronenberg's next film)

CrunchyEmpanada said...

I liked Piranha 3D. I agree it was way better than The Expendables. The Expendables still wasn't bad. It was still just a mediocre movie.

My only problem with this video is that Bob implies Piranha 3D actually has good use of 3D. It doesn't. Those 3D tits weren't any better in 3D than they would have been in 2D. I removed my glasses a few times just to make sure the film really was in 3D it was so flat and unimpressive. Thankfully though, the 3D wasn't bad. It just wasn't any good. The 3D was The Expendables of 3D.

And please. Worst examples of cinema in the last five years? No way was The Expendables as bad as Vampires Suck. No way was it worse than Transformers 2. The latest street fighter movie was hundreds of times worse than The Expendables. And those are just off the top of my head examples that went to theatres! Straight to DVD movies like Transmorphers can be way way way worse examples of film-making than The Expendables. Such a comment makes it seem like you don't actually watch movies, you just watch Moviebob.

JamesTHEgreaT said...

wow! Took the words right out of my mouth! I had the exact conversation with a co-worker of mine at work. Glad there is someone out there that agrees with me and my friends! Keep up the awesome work!!

beyrob said...

I like how some people are getting on bob's case for likeing this and hateing Expendables. These did movies did what they advertised to do. Simple as that. The sad thing about the Expendables is it COULD have been a great bad movie, it could have been the best worst movie ever.

jeans44 said...

@Jdude your the ignorant fool for mistaking this and last weeks review from flawless logic, it was nerdrage and whining and if you truly want to believe that bobs logic is fact then I feel bad for you.

JDude said...

Bob doesn't rage on anything but what DESERVES it, and after watching Expendables for myself, it CERTAINLY deserved it, as does everyone who pays for it and doesn't demand their money back by the end.

Piranha was FUN, Expendables was boring as shit. He is entirely justified to bring it to your attention, since you obviously haven't tuned in to that clue, Sherlock.

Neue said...

Bob, totally with you on this one. People will whine and bitch about you spending this much time on explaining why The Expendables is sooo fucking bad... But if they had even had even and ounce of sense and/or tastes they would be right there with you.

People should NOT be rewarding something so derivative, unoriginal, and poorly made just because its "not THAT awful". That is, as best I can tell, stupidity defined.

You don't have to like Scott Pilgrim, but you shouldn't even be seeing The Expendables. To do so is to reward the film making that is rotting Hollywood to death.

With that out of the way... With the way you go on and on about how Japan gets it right with its Animation so often, I do not, for the life of me, understand why you haven't spent some time giving a send up to Kon Satoshi. The man is an undisputed genius, and has made some of the best movies I, and the WORLD has ever seen.

YOU NEED TO SAY SOMETHING!!!

tyra menendez said...

This just in: Man complains about ignorance while failing fifth grade English, more to come.

Neue said...

Tyra: You fail at life. Take your juvenile taunts elsewhere, or maybe, heaven forbid, try adding something worthwhile to the conversation.

CrunchyEmpanada said...

So I deserve to be ranted at because I went to see The Expendables and didn't demand my money back?

I see practically every movie that comes out, I'm not about to piss and whine about a mediocre movie when I can piss and whine about actual shitty movies.

JDude said...

@Crunchy: you shouldn't have seen it in the first place. If Bob says it's "Transformers-bad", you have no excuse for not outright avoiding it. It's one thing for one of the ignorant mainstream to get suckered in; it's another thing entirely to listen to THIS man on THIS blog and not heed his warnings. If you actually listen to MovieBob and then DISMISS him, you're a fucking idiot.

CrunchyEmpanada said...

@JDude -

Unlike you apparently, I don't believe Bob is a god. I see basically every movie because I like going to the movies. I've already disagreed with Bob on a number of films, I'm not about to trust his opinion unequivocally.

I also think he's quite obviously wrong in this strange idea that The Expendables is Transformers-bad. It's not, not by a longshot. There's not a single joke involving balls in The Expendables, there are no lense flares, the movie isn't nearly 3 hours long, and it didn't butcher any previously interesting franchises with bad character re-designs. I didn't see any piss jokes, I didn't see any ugly male ass, there were no characters giggling stupidly at the audience. So no, sorry, not as bad.

No, Bob seems to dislike The Expendables as much as he does because everybody saw that instead of Scott Pilgrim, not because it's actually the worst film in the world.

akkuma420 said...

@Crunchy
Interesting point you have there.

JDude said...

Yes, because MovieBob takes into account the impact a movie has on the current market.

IE, I would consider Transformers to be marginally worse than Dragonball Evolution. Not because DBE had better acting or production values, but because the imprint it left was far less significant or detrimental on the minds of the movie-going public, or on the long-term decisions of studio execs always looking for that fabled free lunch.

A stinker that everyone realizes stinks, is FAR less of a threat or an abomination than a movie that stinks, but gets the adoration of the people anyhow. That's when things get dangerous. This is why MovieBob attacked "The BlindSide" as harshly as he did. Something bad and overrated is worse than something that's just plain bad.

But in this case, while Expendables isn't quite as bad as Transformers from a film standpoint, it represents much of the thinking or lack thereof that drives the ignorant masses. On top of this, yes, it is squashing the only truly great film in the bunch (Scott Pilgrim) under it's big mouth-breathing feet.

This, I believe, is where Bob is coming from, and I have to agree. Sometimes judging a film based on it's own merits simply isn't enough. Sometimes the effect it has on the other movies and the people surrounding it is entirely pertinent. I mean, why do you think Bob and others have railed on the Twilight series as hard as they have? It's not just because it sucks (though it does), it's that it represents and fosters some truly terrible ideas while it's audience eats it up and good literature and film-making take a backseat.

It's poisonous, it's unfair to the real McCoy's and it says some very non-flattering things about movie studios, moviegoers, and of people in general by extension.

CrunchyEmpanada said...

The impact a movie has on a current market is not only irrelevant to reviewing movies, but is mostly irrelevant to movie making in general.

Good and bad movies will continue to be made in the same percentage they always have. It doesn't matter what box office results end up happening, it's all going to stay the same.

Ezenwa said...

on a more positive note, Scott Pilgrim's total worldwide sales is now 32 million thanks to the 5 million dollars worth of revenue added worldwide, along with another million or so for the weekend. Let's hear it for almost recouping losses. Yay. As for Bob's review: it was a slow week, he needed to make it interesting, people. It's ok.

By the way, if anyone cares, the Distressed Watcher posted a video about why Scott Pilgrim flopped. It's pretty interesting

JDude said...

@Crunchy: This is where I disagree. Whatever the old rebellious generations were before us, the new ones coming out are certifiably apathetic dumbshits. As these people bolster the bad movies more and more over the good ones, Hollywood responds by trying less and less.

@Ezenwa: Yeah, I like Distressed Watcher. I think he and MovieBob would get along nicely.

Marsailis said...

Hey moviebob, you like nothing but unabashed sex and violence? Well, of course you do, your petulant rants make you sound like nothing but an angry, overtly horny teenage boy nowadays, specifically citing any thing with blood and titties as a masterful work of cinematic fun, and everything else as meh, or you bash its fan base (reviewing a film and trashing its fans are not synonymous, you should know that) . Since you can't recommend snuff films without getting in some form of trouble, snuff films which I'm sure you love because of there realistic, uncensored feel you never stop talking about, I recommend A Serbian Film to you my friend. All fat, basement dwelling neck-beards such as yourself tend to eat that type of stuff up!

Bob said...

@JDude,

The sentiment is appreciated, but let's dial it back a little bit m'kay? It's getting a little spooky :)

tom said...

great as always bob but i like to know what you think of some older movies like aliens or monty python and the holy grail

tyra menendez said...

Hey Neue,

look up; that thing above your head, is the point.

StormWolf said...

Am I the only one who's just happy he at least spent some time praising Centurion? Damn good movie, that, but then I like historical movies.

So he didn't like The Expendables and you did. So what? Stop acting like he just denied the Holocaust or something.