Thursday, November 11, 2010

"A mythic flight of the imagination!"

Had an absolute BALL of a "bad movie night" with friends a few hours ago, watching the 1983 Lou Ferrigno version of "Hercules." Exactly why this film, which was regarded as a fairly-notorious "what the hell happened here!?" trainwreck in at the time, hasn't become an ironic cult-classic like "Troll 2" I don't know, but it ought to be. Check it out:




Yes, that is a Rainbow Flaming Sword the bad guy is using at 1:14.

The trailer doesn't even do justice to how GONZO this thing is, a bizzare hybrid of "classic" Italian swords & sandals muscleman epic juiced-up with some weak "Chariots of The Gods" scifi reimagining to justify the awkward inclusion of "Star Wars"-style space scenes and giant robots. A lot of the visual logic appears cribbed from Kirby/Ditko-style Marvel Comics renderings of the esoteric, i.e. every "magical" place appears as a floating chunk of expressionist art hovering somewhere in an unidentified starfield - regardless of where it's "supposed" to be.

It's also garaunteed to drive anyone with even a cursory familiarity with classical Greek Mythology into a psychotic episode. Just as a sample: Hercules' chief enemy is King Minos (!), who rules the futuristic city of Atlantis (!!) and commands robot monsters built by his minion Daedalus (!!!) - appearing as a beautiful female space-being in "Barbarella"-style costuming (!!!!) Oh, and you get an endless prologue in which the Universe is formed from the exploding fragments of Pandora's Jar.

For whatever reason, you can actually see this on Netflix Instant - I very much reccomend that you do, preferably with as many unsuspecting fellow viewers onhand as possible.

4 comments:

Ezenwa said...

Be careful how you post this, Bob. It might get "Snobbed" by the Cinema Snob. If it does, not even your love for this epic schlock will save it from critical hilarity. LOL.

Check him out sometimes: Brad Jones, the Cinema Snob

Mr_Tinq said...

Yup, lightsaber sound effects.

Drunken Lemur said...

Seeing as how Pandora's Box actually was a jar in the original story, that wasn't particularly jarring. Now if only we could get Schwarzenegger's Hercules to fight this one.

Dav3 said...

Absolutely, totally, agree 1000% percent with you on this one, Bob.
Words cannot describe how wonderfully awful it is.

I caught part of this epic fail on one of the digital half-brothers of a local TV station which calls itself "This" Network. (which any lover of bad movies should keep an eye on)

When I found it on netflix I immediately watched the whole thing... twice.

I've got a theory that netflix's streaming library has become the new haven for these movies.

Think of it as the "great bargain bin in the sky", I guess.