Thursday, December 16, 2010

Water For Elephants

"I'm-sure-it's-profound-in-context title?" Check. "Old-man-recalls-golden-age-of-bygone-cultural-relic" plot structure? Check. Young man of promise fleeing for "real world" in quirky/semi-seedy profession? Check. Love triangle with broken-blossom and possessive husband? Check. Best actor in ensemble playing the bad guy? Check. "Based on the acclaimed novel?" Check. This is what people mean when they say Oscar Bait is it's own genre.


Question for people who read the book: Is the lead guy mute and/or non-speaking? Or are they avoiding Pattinson's (up to this point, anyway) famously-wooden delivery by simply not showing him talking hardly AT ALL in the movie he STARS IN.

Y'know what's kind-of funny? If Waltz wasn't in the trailer, it would totally look like the hero was fighting over the girl with the horse.

16 comments:

Elessar said...

Oscar bait can make good movies too. Don't condemn it because it's Oscar Bait, or else we get into the problem that Geeks are starting to be bigger snobs than the original film snobs and that is NOT a place we want to get to. Film snobs are being nice and expanding the Oscar nominees to include our films.

You can go ahead and condemn it cuz Robert Pattinson is in it and he's not been good in a single role he's played yet. Go nuts.

Though you know what's really weird? He's supposed to be ultra hot in Twilight, but without the makeup and the AWFUL filter they use in the Twilight movies (seriously what are they thinking), he looks a lot more attractive.

Chris said...

That felt a lot like Titanic: The Circus

rob said...

I don't go to the theatres much anymore, but Christoph Waltz will do it for me for a while.

Kyle said...

Robert Pattinson IS Brendon Frasier IN... Water For Elephants.

Arturo said...

Christoph Waltz better kick PAttinson's ass HARD. That alone would make the movie worthwhile.

Mr Fist said...

I've heard that music before, but I can't seem to remember where it came from.

Tim said...

Your comment about Pattinson hardly having any dialogue is somewhat ridiculous considering he has as much dialogue (one or two lines) as the other two leads and most of the dialogue in the trailer is a voice-over.

Lucas Neumann said...

You know, I'm actually rooting for Pattinson. I do hope he delivers a great job and get at least a leg out of the twilight character curse he's bound to have.

We can all make fun of him because he plays the goddammend gay-ass vampire that is a standart for the perfect man created by a crazy, crazy woman, in some ways to drive off the jealousy so many of us feel by the fact he makes some silly teenaged girls moist... and some of her moms...

But have you guys seem the last movie? while I saw the second one on cable, I got the feeling he wasn't confortable, but on this third, man, he fucking hates the whole thing, more than any of us I might add. And not just him, Kristen Stewart also despises it.
I've seem a lot of movies where some actors were cleary just performing because the contracts says so, but this was in a whole other level, the two of them were not even trying to mask how they would prefer physical torture instead of playing those characters.

And come on, five years from now Pattinson will be remembered as the "emo vampire dude", as in pointing fingers at the street embarrassing, and that will be a freaking curse to his career, because by then new teenagers girls will get moist for another dude (probably some Disney fake pretty boy), the girls whom used to like him will now hang their heads in shame and producers will think twice before casting him and his "emo vampire dude" image.

So if I were him, and still wanted to have a career starring movies, I would go all out crazy on this one... Daniel Day-Lewis crazy, I would learn how to make the elephant sit, sleep with it, and paint with my left foot, make everyone see that I'm not just the fucking vampire from twilight...
I mean, he's in a love triangle with two oscar winners, if he outshines them, he can have some ope to live through this whole Twilight ordeal.

Pat said...

@Lucas Neumann

As far as type-casting goes, being a teen heartthrob is one category that doesn't always doom someone for life. I mean, look at Leo DiCaprio. Go back 10 years and he was remembered only as that guy from Titanic that every teenaged girl and middle-aged woman couldn't stop fantasizing over. Then he got older, girls stopped thinking he was cute, and Scorsese made him a proper actor.

If Pattinson has any real talent, the Twilight fandom will get bored of him as you say, he'll disappear from the spotlight for a few years, and then he'll prove to the world that he actually can act and will be recognized for his talent. Assuming he has any. If he's talentless, then he's doomed.

Lucas Neumann said...

Di Caprio showed acting talent before the Titanic gig, as in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" and "This Boy's life". In fact, once he said that Titanic fame almost destroyed his carrer.

He was always the real deal, the same can't be said for Pattinson. He plays that kid in Harry Potter... and.. the dude who gets hit by a plane in that watered down romance... and... uh, the glittering vampire.

So yeah, these overblown, over obsessed characters took down better actors than Pattinson, he better watch out, he can't hope that just by sharing his name with people who have an oscar in their shelves will cut it...

Go Daniel Day Lewis crazy Pattison... Daniel Day Lewis crazy

ZAENGO said...

I think i know how things are gonna go for the twilight kids after it dies down. I think Pattinson has promise, so if he plays his cards right and indeed goes... "Daniel Day Lewis crazy", he'll end up in some critically praised Cohen Bros. thing or whatever, and make them all forget twilight existed. I think he has a chance. Kristen Stewart is a good actress, shes not gonna be the next Meryl Streep, but she'll get work. and Taylor Lautner might start doing some action movies or get a cop show when he's older, Its anyones guess.

Lets just get these Next few crappy twilight movies out, and forget about it. Hopefully the next big stupid thing will be slightly easier to stomach.

Joe said...

Gah! James Newton Howard's composing the score. Hollywood's "give me an Oscar soundtrack" go-to guy. Perfect if you need a serviceable yet completely forgettable score.

Andrew said...

Waltz will make the film, but it's worth seeing just to bring more Hal Holbrook into your life.

Pants said...

Bob, Pattinson says something at 1:13.

The Grey Man said...

It's Oscar bait that's getting a release in April and will be forgotten once Oscar movie season rolls around.

Dev's Media Reviews said...

It's funny that we're having a film about the drama behind the greatest show on earth. Oh wait, there was a film just like that. I think it was called 'Dumbo'.

Seriously, I thought about the film 'The Greatest Show on Earth' when I saw the trailer with 'True Grit. It could be great. Then again, it could receive a lot of hate like the last film Rob starred in earlier this year: 'Remember Me'.