Sunday, May 01, 2011

CLOSURE

Osama bin Laden is dead.

FUCK YEAH!

52 comments:

Drunken Lemur said...

FIRST!

Elessar said...

How much does this mean realistically? Not much.

Do I give a shit? FUCK NO! BIN LADEN IS DEAD! SHIT YES!

David said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M

It just fits right.

Highman_95 said...

This made me laugh like hell.
Best reaction to this yet.

Waldo said...

So does this mean that this stupid war that you yanks foisted on the rest of the world can end now that you've caught your man?

Arturo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Arturo said...

Congratulations, my American compadres. You have earned the right to be as obnoxiously patriotic in our faces as you see please for the forseeable future.

kevmon1116 said...

@Waldo
As far as I can tell, this war stopped being about bin Laden a long time ago, right around the same time it started being about absolutely nothing. Can I immigrate to your country?

Waldo said...

@Kevmon

You want to immigrate here? That depends, do you like maple syrup?

Dave said...

I find the way this turned out to be wonderfully poetic.

Bush wraps himself in the flag, marshalls his army and manages to embroil the most powerful army in the world into 2 unwinnable quagmires. While letting the target escape.

Obama waits for decent intel, and has a crew of guys go and quietly kill him.

While I can't help but find the image of americans massing and cheering at the death of another human being to be perversely similar to the imagery in anytown middle east following a major terrorist attack, I really, really am looking forward to Fox and the tea party trying desperately to spin this as a negative.

No doubt glenn beck will refuse to believe Osama is really dead until he sees the death certificate.

David said...

Lol and beautifully written, Dave.

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

@Dave: I believe you underestimate our friend, Mr. Beck. Surely after this event he will bring into question the very existence of said terrorist leader in the first place. He will want real evidence of the bearded one's birth in the form of some...certificate...of birth...and that simply won't do because in these days of digital imagery, a birth certificate can be easily manipulated by some cave-dwelling shabby person claiming his beard as some hipster fashion who thinks himself a graphic designer by dropping $2K on a Mac Book Pro....surely an outcry from our most unbiased of pundits will come for the long-form birth certificate before he can possibly be persuaded into the reality of said man's birth and death there-of.


@Dave and David: Furthermore I believe we should start a club or cult of some sort...

Darren said...

President Obama made a great speech after the event that is for certain :D

Andrew said...

I first heard Osama's name 9 years ago... when I was 11 years old. Coincidence?!

Ryan said...

Feels good, man.

Mission. Fucking. Accomplished.

Aaron said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBvPIEdDAPM&feature=feedu

Dave said...

@ David (the one with a pic)

We could go the fallout route and create the republic of dave. We all get two wives. Only downside is deathclaws spawn nearby.

There are too many daves in here. It's like my 3rd year history course. I'm gonna see about changing my id to Dave from Canada or something.

@ Darren

The funny thing? According to CNN, much of it was written for Dubya, on the assumption that OBL couldn't possibly evade the us military for 8 years. So Obama defeated Dubya's nemesis...and announced it using Dubya's own speech. That's got to hurt.

This past year has seen teh middle east move towards democracy on its own without western powers forcing it...and now Bin Laden is out of the picture. Dubya gets to watch as Obama lukcs into the legacy he damn near bankrupted the country for. That punishment is so delicious its borderline olympian.

@ Ryan. Aw don't say that! Now he's going to come back to life as a muslim zombie.


Oh and for the lulz:

http://images.wildammo.com/2011/05/02/fox-news-obama-bin-laden-dead/

Popcorn Dave said...

Doesn't take a Glenn Beck to find this a bit suspicious. No photos, no videos, no body? I'm not breaking out the champagne until they offer something a bit more concrete than "yeah we totes killed him, but just take our word for it... you don't think the American government would LIE, do you?".

Q said...

Look... look... I know this is like... I don't know "good" and all but for the sake of partisan bickering let's focus on the real question here:

Who gets the credit? Bush? Obama? The US military? (snicker) or you the average American people?

We'll find out tonight on Pointlessly Convoluted Talking Heads on Cable and Blogger News!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chris Cesarano said...

Honestly, I can't muster any excitement over this. It feels like a shallow victory, and I don't mean in the pussy ass whiney "But so many of our troops DIED for this!". I mean in the simple fact that there are much more influential maniacs over there killing innocents RIGHT NOW, and they've been doing it this whole time Bin Laden has been in hiding. Yeah, we killed one guy who took credit for knocking down our WTC. What of the other assholes?

Unfortunately, there's really nothing that CAN be done over there. The Middle East is such a festering region of grudges and rage and greed that the only way to really "stop it" is to outright conquer it. That's at best a short-term solution that would only cause long-term problems in the long run. Plus, Libya's still a complete fuck house.

Yeah, in the grand scheme of things, this doesn't feel like something I'll be telling my grand-kids about as some major victory.

WilhelmVonHaig said...

Day1- Obama owns Trump, Matt Damon and any pther idiots who were foolish enough to cross him.
Day3- Obama personally goes into Pakistan and murders Osama Bin Laden with his bare hands. He then selflessly lets the military take credit.
Day3- Obama brokers peace between Israel and the arab world? Obama builds a city on the moon? Obama discovers the warp engine? Obama cures cancer?

Kysafen said...

"Closure"? That's bullshit, Chipman. Practically, it'll raise morale, but that's where the good news ends. al-Qaeda will always appoint another leader to pass the torch on to. This is as much "closure" as Saw VI was the end of Saw.

Martín Cerón said...

No one cares at this point. Also, when are the guys responsible for 9/11 from the US side gonna get theirs?

akkuma420 said...

I really wish I didn't have to leave a comment directly after a comment like that, but anyways...
I dunno... I just find this whole thing a little fishy.
They buried him at sea? CNN is debating whether or not to release the photo's of him dead? Why? It's not like its gonna cause mass hysteria... just give people a piece of mind.
I dunno... I see this as Obama's plee for 4 more years. So when election time comes around he can say "Look, I did do something".
Just my opinion though.

Smashmatt202 said...

Ding-dong, the witch is dead
the wicked witch
the mean old witch
Ding-dong, the wicked witch is DEAAAAAAAAAAD!

motyr said...

A very historic moment, undoubtedly one of the most important singular events in my lifetime (born post-Berlin Wall, I was 9 years old on 9/11/2001).

I'm not an American citizen nor do I live in the United States. I sense the magnitude of this event, but am not exactly cheering in the streets. I know I'll always remember the moment when I first heard the words "Osama bin Laden is dead," but my reaction was more of a "woah..." than a "fuck yeah!" I was completely taken aback, I got chills.

Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing (the Taliban will certainly not dismantle, they are a world-wide organization and backlash is inevitable), it is without a doubt a very, very important event.

I disagree with MovieBob calling this "closure" and I can't say I had the same reaction as he evidently did. The flag-waving displayed outside of the White House last night was an eerie counterpart to the excitement we saw in the Middle East on September 11th. While I have no problem with people being happy with what they believe is an end of an era, I think this should be a moment to reflect on the world-wide tragedy that the actions of this one man, Osama bin Laden, directly caused.

Chris said...

It's funny to see the opposition twist themselves into pretzels to be critical no matter what is done.

Tim said...

@Dave: I'm not fucking kidding, I've already seen people do that already. Seriously, you already see these (usually conservative) retards demanding for proof that he's dead.

If you are one of these people, do you really want Obama to cock slap you AGAIN?

Philbo said...

People are quick and right to ask for proof. I mean, it was fast enough to appear when Saddam Hussein was killed, coming straight after his hanging. So where are the pictures of Osama? I'm a big boy I can take seeing a dead head with a bullet hole in it.

And like I said on TGO site: Closure? Can we not be so naive please? There will be repercussions as for some in the Middle East we just killed their hero.

kevmon1116 said...

@Waldo
Darn straight I like Maple Syrup.

@David
I think the rant Beck spouts out after this one will finally get him thrown in the nuthouse. He's gonna mentally contort himself into a gordian knot trying to spin this to make Obama the bad guy. Sadly, even in the nuthouse the right-wing teabaggers are gonna glom onto every word he says.

Personally, my opinion of Obama is still as meh as it has been this entire four year process.

Chris Evans said...

Am I the only one who thinks that this could make a good movie?

The Grey Man said...

I thought Bruce Willis killed Bin Laden years ago.

Chris Evans said...

Do people really have to turn this political so soon? The Military did a great job taking down an evil sob and people here are sniping back and forth like children. This was a victory for all America.

This is seriously as stupid as the bickering that happened when Saddam was captured.

Reverend Allan Ironside said...

Navy Seals FTW!

BJames said...

closure? Hardly, this conflict is bigger then one man.

You would think they would have released any king of visual evidence for the public, but instead hes buried at sea, in accordance to a non existent Islamic tradition, great way to avoid conspiracy theories sprouting every where.

lordy said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhCdlygmSJ4

David said...

@Daves, This organization should be secret and run the world.

Ezenwa said...

@The Grey Man

I just finished seeing Planet Terror a few days ago. I believe it was a Thursday. I thought the exact same thing when thinking about the death of Osama.

Just keep your eyes open for any flesh-eating zombies

MagnaParvusFilms said...

Well, this seems to be stirring up some commotion.
I'd just like to remind everyone that for the first time in history, you can play "Back in the USA" by chuck Berry as loud and as long as you want and no one will question you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4eonyfRet8&feature=related

I think that's the important part of all this.

Ásmundur said...

so he's dead... so what??? what exactly does it change in you're so called war on terror?

Dave said...

I'm as liberal as they come and happy as can be at this news, but I thought I'd just point out the *ahem* coincidental nature of this news. Not only was the news broken on the same day Hitler's death was announced in 1945, but also in the same week he produced the longform of his birth certificate, got his own darn boots on the ground to visit survivors of a natural disaster (instead of flying over it), deftly delivered some nice one-liners at the W.H. Correspondents Diner, made some hard calls and then informed the nation (on the 8th anniversary of G.W.'s "Mission Accomplished" speech http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003_Mission_Accomplished_speech ) that we finally got OSB.

So while I'm as left-wing as they come, I must say I can't help but be a bit skeptical at the efficacy of this news. I mean, maybe the prez is just having a really, REALLY good week, like the planets are aligning in his favor. But - along with all kinds of reports that bin Laden has been dead since December '01 and a variety of other info pouring out - I can't help but feel it's all too good to be true.

Yeah, I do believe he's dead, but yesterday of all days?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyZICBPh0wc

With all that Obama's done in under a week, it does seem less "truth" and more "let's put on a drastic show for the press to increase Obama's approval rating".

Not saying I'm not amazingly glad or anything, but seriously... look at ALL the puzzle pieces here and try to fit them together, and it adds up to something funny-lookin'.

I may be a left-wing radical, but I'm not stupid. I'm a realist. I see things for what they are (NOT what I want them to be) and the right-wing ideologue news networks and pundits (Ann Coulter included - yes, as crazy as she is.... ) do have make some legitimate point.

I'm as objective as they come, and look at the broader situation (*ahem* "The Big Picture") for what it really is and... yeah, something ain't right.

Dave said...

Okay, just for you tl;dr nitwits out there, here's the quick recap of what I wrote:

Not only was the news broken on the same day Hitler's death was announced in 1945, but also in the same week he produced the longform of his birth certificate, got his own darn boots on the ground to visit survivors of a natural disaster (instead of flying over it), deftly delivered some nice one-liners at the W.H. Correspondents Diner, made some hard calls and then informed the nation (on the 8th anniversary of G.W.'s "Mission Accomplished" speech http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003_Mission_Accomplished_speech ) that we finally got OSB.

Yeah, sounds kinda fishy. I think he did die 7 years ago of that lung disease, and his allegedly still being alive was used as propaganda for continuing our war. Wouldn't be the first time we went to war for rather dickish reasons and tried to cover our asses about it *cough* Bay of Pigs invasion *cough cough*.

And I'm a left-wing radical admitting that it sounds fishy.

But hey, I bet Bob agrees with one thing: helluva year for a Captain America movie, amirite? *nudges Bob* XD

nothri said...

Well, he flat out said this operation was planned out for months. If the date really is an anniversary of some kind, it wouldn't be the first time a president has picked an auspicious day upon which to act. And it makes equal sense that he would arrange other events close to this day to take full advantage of the situation. No grand conspiracy here, just a politician in the midst of an election season being a little sly with his schedule. And frankly, I'm okay with that. Its not as if the guy didn't deliver big in the end.

Dave said...

@Nothri: Actually, this operation was planned back since before he was in office. And it's not like terrorist leaders will just sit and wait for you to kill them on a scheduled day..... nor is it like the military will just wait for a coincidental day to kill someone....... If you think that's how these things work, then you need to seriously re-educate yourself on how governments and the military conduct themselves..... :/

So no, it doesn't make sense at all. I think he was dead long ago, and many sources out there confirm him as dead back in December 2001.

Popcorn Dave said...

I know what you mean, Dave. Obama's approval ratings have been downright embarrassing lately, this has all come at just the right time. The birth certificate thing was clearly a well-coordinated stunt (awesome though it was), so far this seems like the same thing.

Chris Cesarano said...

I didn't even think about most of this stuff having an effect on the upcoming election year. Which is sad, because most people will be impressed with a birth certificate that doesn't even matter, an operation that he had no part in except to say "Sounds good, pull the trigger" and being on the ground of a major disaster area.

Maybe I just expect too much of a modern President, but it seems more and more that the position is basically an excuse to sit around and do nothing, or at best be a puppet ruler.

Popcorn Dave said...

Real political change seems pretty much impossible these days. Serious reforms (healthcare, education etc.) drag on for years and invariably get so badly mutilated in the legislative process that you might as well not have bothered. Then you end up with half the country pissed off at you for going too far and half of the country pissed off at you for letting them down.

Cheap showmanship and shallow flag-waving, on the other hand? That shit is gold!

Dave said...

I'm not one for conspiracy theories, so as I keep saying, I'm not saying it's BS or the God-given truth, just that it sounds too good to be true. BUT, I will say the thought that the gov't actually did engineer this as a fake situation to raise Obama's approval rating isn't really a conspiracy theory..... it's just expecting the gov't to do what the gov't has been known to do since the Nixon administration. I mean, it's always been chest-high in all kinds of illicit, scandalous activities, but many of the "this is how the gov't does it's thang" stuff was brought to light during Nixon's presidency.

So I wouldn't call it a conspiracy theory, just a hypothesis from someone who actually learned a thing or two from his own country's history and is using it to make educated observations. After listing said observations, one could then take a stance. Mine is fairly objective, saying that we really don't know one way or the other (again, he could just be having the bestest week ev4r!) but my bullshit detector tells me otherwise when there are loose ends and the math doesn't seem to add up.

Like how Obama claims that the US worked with Pakistan on this, yet Pakistani officials seem to have a very different story of what went down. I wouldn't be surprised if - either before or after a potential second term - this blew up in the Prez's face by way of international incident.

But I love how Americans are getting all patriotic about Osama's death, not seeming to understand that if he really was killed, shit's gonna hit the fan REALLY fast and terrorism will be plunged into overdrive through his martyrdom. But hey, that's what you get for not paying close attention to the ending cutscene of Killzone 2..... :/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKJnvswd5Vk&feature=related

"I'm Dave, and that's the point."

Chris Cesarano said...

My first reaction is still the same as it is now: we killed one guy. How about all of the others that are more dangerous and are slaying innocents still?

I'm caught between thinking we should conquer the Middle East the old fashioned way and believing that the region will always be a chaotic mess and we should let them do what they will (preferably by relying on their oil a Hell of a lot less, as that's really the greatest reason anyone has any interest in that area).

I just know I can't discuss this stuff with my family. They're right wing enough to believe that if Osama died in December of '01 that Bush would've pulled out.

Either way, at this point I'm all for moving troops to Libya or something, but I'm also the sort of person that never bought into the "bring our troops home!" chant. The world is fucked up and bad shit is happening. Shouldn't we help other people out if we have the firepower and capability to do so? But that's part of people claiming us to try and police the world.

I dunno. It's an ugly situation and I just can't muster the feeling that this is an accomplishment.

But I at least enjoyed Stephen Colbert's episode on it.

BJames said...

"I'm caught between thinking we should conquer the Middle East "
yes because the almighty America Polices the world!
Sounds like Bill O'reilly's on Moviebobs blog

Popcorn Dave said...

... and now we find out that they shot him in his bedroom. Unarmed. And they shot his wife too for good measure. Classy.