Thursday, May 26, 2011

Smurfs Trailer

Memo to Neil Patrick Harris: You've already proven that you're the coolest cat on the planet, and thus can come out of even the most awful project clean and unharmed. You don't need to test that theory by appearing in shit like this:




For those without the fortitude to actually watch the damned thing - a position I can respect - here's the basic rundown:

The question of "how do you make a big-budget movie out of The Smurfs?" has been answered: They didn't. The CGI used to render the Smurfs themselves (which you'd think would be the ONLY thing you HAVE to get right on this) looks shockingly bad, and Hank Azaria's Gargamel makeup looks like something that wouldn't pass muster as a store-bought Halloween kit.

Yes, they do a "Blue Man Group" joke.

Yes, it sounds like we can look forward to a dance-remix version of the theme song.

Yes, there's a gag dedicated to how lame something from the series was (the theme song, again.)

Yes, scene with a Smurf falling in a toilet.

Azrael appears to be played by a real cat, which is going to make it kinda uncomfortable when The Smurfs have to beat up on her(?)

27 comments:

Robert said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0jhMPbpeIY

Display Name said...

From the trailer: "No! This isn't happening..."


Oh, how I wish that was true.

Samuel said...

Why? Why would anyone make something like this? Why would anyone see this in the first place? Why is this movie necessary?

And why will it make so much goddamn money it doesn't deserve? It will.

The Mason said...

I watched that trailer for some unknown reason. I feel very unclean right now.

Puddle Jumper said...

The only reason NPH would be in this is for his own nostalgia and for his kids, now or future if he doesn't have kids yet. And both are valid reasons actually.

Reverend Allan Ironside said...

Ow...My SOUL!

Mike said...

And I quote Dennis Leary from Wag the Dog...

"I feel insulted for having just watched it."

Peter said...

Don't be fooled by the film's title. This is not a smurfs movie. This is the same pablum tripe that Hollywood has farted out more times than anyone cares to count with the smurf brand slapped on it. Unfortunately by the sole virtue of having a recognized brand like the smurfs on it this film probably has a reliable shot at making enough money to warrant a sequel in Hollywood's eyes. Goodness I hope that doesn't happen.

Joe said...

I think I find that College Humor fake Gummi Bears trailer to be a more entertaining premise.

Cartogriffi said...

If something like this truly is the "3d adventure of the year" the technology is sunk. :D

J.C. Hedges said...

I guess I can be thankful the smurfs weren't really part of my childhood. All I have to worry about is the G.I. Joe sequel and if anyone has the audacity to try and do a live action adaptation of Pokemon.

Arturo said...

I feel so sorry for NPH.
Hopefully, his cameo in The Muppets can fix this shit.

Pat said...

Why oh why did the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie succeed?

Smashmatt202 said...

Smurf-fans out there, refresh my memory, what exactly does Gargamel WANT with the Smurfs again?

Curtis said...

@Smashmatt202

He either wanted to eat them or turn them to gold, it varied from episode to episode

I gotta tell you the first 30 seconds of this trailer was alright, pretty much what one would want from a live action Smurf movie (assuming they wanted one) but then they had to fuck it up by throwing them into modern day New York

Kent said...

I don't know, I liked the trailer.

I mean I'm only on second 31, but it seems like the story is just going to be Gargamel finally finding the smurf village and....

Wait why is there a time portal?

Ok, I just. Anyone who's been to the movies in the past year has seen the poster. I'm still fairly certain you could DO a smurfs movie as a fairy tale. But I honestly don't know why the company would green-light... this.

akkuma420 said...

I blame this on those damn Chipmunks!

Chris Evans said...

My hope is for this god awful blue cgi creature movie to kill the f***ing 3D trend started by the first god awful blue cgi creature movie.

Popcorn Dave said...

Ugh. Just looks like a parody, doesn't it? And cheap to boot! Hope it flops hard.

Dev's Media Reviews said...

Man was this trailer bad. The Smurfs' eyes, Katy Perry's lousy delivery of her lines as Smurfette, the Smurfs blending in to Taxi cab signs to gain a laugh, Gargamel being hit by a bus yet survives, and the tired transporting to fictional to real world storyline. Oh my Smurf! This movie will blow.

ANImaniac said...

My....God......What fresh hell is this.
That was honestly the stupidest, most vacuous piece of S**T I have ever seen, and the sad thing is since I have two younger brothers I will mostly be dragged to it.

Eyes_Only said...

I'd pirate it and watch it at home honestly. Not gonna pay a cent for it, but I'd watch it.

Chris Cesarano said...

Now, while popular culture has taught us that people have a tendency to like shitty stuff, there's also a limit to just how shitty they'll go.

I'm hoping this is the sort that modern film audiences won't fall for.

Though I must wonder...does anyone actually remember being a fan of the Smurfs? I don't think I've ever met anyone that actually liked them.

bobbzman said...

OK, I like the BEGINNING of that trailer, with the Smurf village and Gargamel chasing them around.

The rest? Yikes. Just... yikes.

CraftyAndy said...

I'm reminiscent of the live action takes on Inspector Gadget, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Fat Albert, Dudley doRight, and Mr. Magoo all at once. Such horror this movie has conjured up.

Lee Kalba said...

So bad the original voice actors passed on it. And I know at least two of them are still in the business.
And poor Neal Harris? At least he gets to be regular. I feel bad for Hank Azaria.

Smashmatt202 said...

Wait... There was a live action Mr. Magoo movie?!