Monday, June 06, 2011

Weiner Admits What Everyone Already Knew

Well, DUH.
In lieu of banging out a whole schpiel on this here (busy day), here's what I had to say on the matter in a talkback over at Hollywood Elsewhere, which I think sums my position up handily:

"Exchanging naughty emails with random chicks is not stupid. The stupid thing he did was LIE about it for week. Coverup is ALWAYS worse than the "crime" with these things."

"But even THEN, everyone sensible knows WHY he did it (i.e. lying) he did it because he didn't want to piss off his wife. So, really, the stupidest thing he did was get married in the first place - if he wasn't married, this wouldn't be a "scandal," this would be "makes him more fun" points. Seriously - Weiner is young, he's got money, he's relatively decent-looking for a politician and thanks to his "liberal firebrand" street-cred legions of fine-ass politically-inclined coeds are lined up to jump his bones... WTF is he doing in any kind of monogamous relationship, let alone MARRIED? Is he a masochist?"

"American's have this stupid obsession with their public figures either being "happily married" or monogamous... and it makes NO fucking sense. Newsflash: The people with the superhuman-drive to succeed in a cutthroat game like politics are NOT people who are "cut out" to play Ward & June offstage. You hear people say "Oh, we need them to be married so we know they're honest." BULLSHIT! Married people are the most dishonest people on the planet. They HAVE to be to survive day to day. "Oh, a single man will be too easily distracted to do a good job." BULLSHIT! Married guys are the most distracted men you'll ever meet. You know who's NOT distracted? Rich/famous/powerful guys who know they never have to worry where their next lay is coming from - those guys have the clearest heads in the room, bar none."


Robert said...

Aw, what happened to covering up the political stuff until after the jump? I liked how you did that.....

Robert said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robert said...

Eh, I deleted my past comment because it made fun of you for using caps, but it incorrectly stated that you were using caps lock.

Anyways, I'm glad you talk about issues like marriage, fidelity, and sex. Because after watching every single one of your videos, it goes without saying that there is nobody more qualified to talk about said topics than you Moviebob.

See guys? Sarcasm CAN translate well into text without using the dumb "/sarcasm" tag.

Smashmatt202 said...

Your stance on single people being more honest than married people confused me...

But still, I do agree it was stupid to be lying about it in the first place.

Nick said...

I also loved your earlier post where you said that you hoped that one day a politician caught in a sex scandal would just come forward and say this:

"Hell yes, I had sex with that woman. And not just that one, either. A WHOLE bunch of women - seriously, you don't even know. You know who DID know? My wife, here. Hell, she was THERE half the time! Yeah, that's right, we've got an 'arrangement.' It's 2011, fucking deal with it. Oh, don't misunderstand - she's pissed off at me alright... pissed off that I got stupid and got CAUGHT and now we have to do this dance for you media dipshits. Hell, the only reason we didn't just say this shit right upfront is that we were trying to get my ass ELECTED and you tools would've acted exactly like you're acting now, on account of being beholden to a voting/media-consuming public about 50% of which actually DO care more about this meaningless parochial bullshit than they do about things that actually effect their well-being. Well, guess what? This is me, this is us, this is how we roll. And WHILE I've been in office, all y'all made out DAMN well. You like all those well-paid cops and firefighters? You enjoy that properly-scheduled mass-transit and functional roads and rails? You're welcome. Want it to keep comin'? FOUR MORE YEARS, bro! OR, you wanna go and toss all that out and roll the dice because how we run our bedroom is soooooo offensive to you? Well then good luck to ya, fucko - this press conference ALONE just landed me enough book deals, speaking engagements and 'on-staff contributor' gigs to live like royalty for the rest of our lives, so we're all good. Now, if you'll excuse us, the Missus and I have a dinner date with Miss July - don't worry, I'm sure there'll be a tape in a month or two. DONE!

David (The Pants) said...

America's first single president will be one well-layed guy.

john said...

I look forward to the day when hating marriage at the slightest provocation stops being trendy. I really do.

Anonymous said...

I honestly think that a good portion of the people who hate on marriage are people who have failed to have a lengthy relationship.

Eventually, there will be a day where we as a species will realize that love and companionship can be very dissimilar and that marriage is not much more than a legal term. I imagine that would be a very good day.

antecedentless said...

basically what @joemello04 said, and:

My parents do not hide anything from one another. They do not decieve one another. Any relationship that relies on either will not last very long. A spouse is the one person that you can be the most open with.

Smashmatt202 said...

Nick's post reminds me of how FDR died... He died while going to see a woman he truly loved... who wasn't Eleanor Roosevelt.

Also, Martin Luther King Jr. He apparently slept with other women. At least that's what my history teacher said. Supposedly there's video taped evidence to prove it.

And yet both these men are very influential and have done many great things for this country. People seem to remember them FOR their good deeds rather then the bad parts. I wish people can do the same thing today.

Jones said...

Happy marriages do exist, people. There are many ways to live a fulfilling life.

TheAlmightyNarf said...

I've never heard about this "married people are honest", or even the "single guys are more distracted". Neither really make any sense, though I don't thing the presumption that the opposite is true is correct either (especially the "honest" one... no one who interacts with other people is honest).

What I think the real issue here is that people want to vote for people like themselves and idealized versions of what they want to be. Those are the images politicians try to build for themselves and "happily married monogamous relationship" squarely falls into that.

Reverend Allan Ironside said...

Looks like Wiener is gonna get GRILLED!

What a surprise. A Democrat who lies. Will wonders never cease.

DCEnigma said...

Bob, I agree with you on a lot of stuff, but love and marriage isn't one of them

Rob said...

I have a girlfriend. I flirt, it's normal. There's a line. It's good for my creative thinking.

Anthony Winner was never a Family values preacher, he never crusaded against adulterers. Just lying corporate-sponsored medicare killers.
-So he's not a hypocrite.-

This is his private life, he's a young guy with a pretty hot wife, but she works for Hill Clinton, so maybe he doesn't see her that much. I wouldn't care if he kept doing this.

Rachel Maddow put her favorite friend and guest in a pretty decent, fair and balanced spotlight last night.

motyr said...

Generalizing marriages and long-term monogamous relationships is just as wrong as making sweeping generalizations about single men. People are different, some do well with one partner, some do not. It's completely embarrassing to watch you go off on married men like they're liars and hypocrites. I feel sorry for you, Bob, this post is obviously a case of child/teenage-hood demons creeping into your writing (much like "the 90s sucked" and that x-men Big Picture spot.)

Nick said...

Gotta love how every time someone makes fun of marriage mania, a bunch of armchair psychiatrists crawl out of the woodwork to psychoanalyze the rest of us and cluck their tongues about how everyone who doesn't subscribe to their outdated moral framework is "damaged."

motyr said...


The fact that you half-slighted my post gives me the urge to respond.

I don't think anybody who doesn't support the institution of marriage is "damaged," and I'm not doing any tounge-clucking. I don't care if you don't subscribe to my "outdated moral framework." In fact, I encourage you to pursue or not pursue any type of relationship(s) you desire. Whatever makes you, MovieBob, or whoever else, happy, is cool with me.

It's when a complete and utter generalization is made that I become unimpressed. "BULLSHIT! Married people are the most dishonest people on the planet..." is a phrase that I see as ignorant and arrogant, and I'm not taking offence because I'm married or getting married anytime soon. It's a claim that has absolutely no foundation, at least none presented in MovieBob's argument. Even if a majority of people who are married qualify as dishonest by whatever obscure standard (are you a "dishonest" person if you lie once? twice? ten times?), saying that all married people are is totally wrong and illogical.

And don't pretend MovieBob isn't participating in some of his own "armchair psychiatry" by making those claims about married people and people who succeed in politics.

Avistew said...

"Americans have this stupid obsession with their public figures either being "happily married" or monogamous..."

No. Americans have this stupid obsession with their public figures being "happily married" AND monogamous. Oh, and preferably not re-married, or common-law, or anything like that. Certainly nothing as weird as having more than one long-term partner. Or having partners that aren't long-term and were never meant to.
I don't see why anyone should care about a politician's private life. It doesn't make them more or less able to deal with a country's problem.
Although hell, if they have mistresses, at least it shows they can multitask.

Matt said...

It's really strange from a foreign perspective...

People are yelling about this being an outrage and scandalous; dude sent some pictures to some women, he was married, he shouldn't have done that but what's the big deal? It's a private matter, it's not worthy of two weeks of coverage on CNN.

No doubt politicians here in Canada get up to similar sexual shenanigans but nobody ever talks about that.

I just don't get America.

Smashmatt202 said...

Sometimes we don't even get ourselves.

Avistew said...

Hey, Bob, I was wondering... It's a personal question I guess, but I got curious (I actually dreamt that question. What the hell).
Anyway, the question is, would you date a married woman?

On the one hand, you don't seem to think so highly of monogamy, so I imagine you'd be fine in a poly relationship. On top of that, you don't seem too fond of marriage either, which would mean you wouldn't care that she can't marry you due to being already married, right?

On the other hand, well, you don't seem to have a high opinion of married people, either. Who would want to date someone dishonest (since all married people apparently are in your opinion)? So maybe just the fact of being married to begin with would disqualify her or something?

So I really wasn't sure about that, and I thought I'd ask (because being inappropriate on the Internet is apparently what I do).

MovieBob said...

Oh for the love of...

This is REALLY the first time people have seen/heard someone do the "married people survive on a succession of peacekeeping white lies" bit? Seriously? This is up there with "why don't men ask for directions?" - it's as old as VAUDEVILLE. Hell, when I was putting it in the original reply on "Elsewhere," I was halfway-worried it would turn out I was subconsciously cribbing from ancient "Married: With Children" routines. Should I put a "::rimshot::" tag in next time? Maybe a disclaimer advising certain paragraphs to be read aloud in Homer Simpson's voice?

Yeah, I know, I know... if the audience didn't laugh, it's probably your fault or the material's fault before it's theirs... okay. But STILL, ugh...

It goes without saying, NO, I'm not "against" marriage. I regard the "public institution" of it as something of an anachronism, and I get the sense I'm not "built for it," but if it works for you and yours I'm glad. My parents are happily married, many of my friends/family are, etc. It's the - to ME - odd notion that the state of BEING married is supposed to confer some kind of innate maturity or moral-superiority on someone over someone else that I was trying to poke at.

Avistew said...

It reminds me of a couple of asexuals who got married and said something about how married couples stop having sex after a while, they just decided to be ahead of time.
I thought it was cute.

(The reason it's relevant is that it's a stereotype about married couples too, and it's not always true either).

Anyway. Sorry, Bob. I did understand that you were exaggerating but I thought it was still based on your point of view, rather than it being a joke based on a stereotype.

And I'm sorry I asked you that question. I feel stupid about it, it's none of my business, and I apologize.

I totally agree that being married doesn't suddenly make people more mature or more responsible. Sometimes, in some situations, the fact that those people got married is actually more a proof that they're immature and irresponsible, or they would have known better.

It's sad when people do something just because people around them do it and they don't even try to figure out if it's really what they want, they just go with the flow.
And it's sad that other people try to enforce that "one true way" mentality.

I come from a place where it's slightly less of a problem with marriage, but I see it all the time with having children: people assume that if you don't have kids you're immature and that having them automatically makes you responsible.
In my opinion, people who systematically use birth control and think about the consequences of having a child before they do it, etc, are being responsible, and if they were being irresponsible, they'd end up with kids, so yeah, in some cases it's the other way around than what popular knowledge would have you think.

Obligatory disclaimer: I'm not against having kids, my parents had kids, I just don't think having kids, in itself, makes someone more mature or morally superior.

Mads said...

Bob, even though what you said was funny and had the kind of panache of something you expect said tongue in cheek, you did say this was in lieu of a spiel, and that this summed up your position.

I know, I know - you also said it was a busy day, you didn't have time to ensure it couldn't be misunderstood, or that you presented your case cleanly - but really, if you decide to be bombastic without also being careful, and you deal with something this close to a lot of people, this is what happens.

That said, I'm _glad_ you did it. Because fuck yeah, the reason weiner's in trouble is because he's married, not because he sexted.

Thing is, perpetrating a coverup - even to save your marriage - is going to make you look like a sociopath. Who the fuck cares whether he lied - _we weren't entitled to know jackshit in the first place_ - but he did, and he did it because he cared more about the people close to him than the rest of us. And that makes us feel slighted.

And that's essentially where the "marriage brews dishonesty" thing comes from. It probably isn't always true, but that's not the point. If you're a member of two groups, those two groups are interconnected, and you care more about one than the other; then logically, at some point (further out the luckier you are), you will have to sacrifice your commitment to the group you care least about
in favor of the more important one. It's simple conflict of interest business.

Family always comes first to people who have any business being married in the first place. This is particularly true for married people, then.

The US is in the odd position of having to deal with this in a democratic political structure (forming one group) while simultaneously preaching the virtues of the nuclear family (forming the other group); and those two just aren't homogenous.

Bob may have been more poignant in expressing his oppinion than me when he wrote about rich, successful single guys who have no attachments that can distract them from their political lifes than I, but it's the same principle...and said poignancy is also why I think the negative responses here are justifiable, even if they often missed the point: Marriage is an archaic social construct that's inherently bad for some people, and if they succumb to cultural pressure and marry anyway, their lives will be ruined by it.