Friday, July 01, 2011

Escape to the Movies: "Transformers: Dark of The Moon"

It's not good. "Intermission" expounds as to why.

26 comments:

Jwillx70 said...

Well, here's hoping the reboot will focus on Beast Wars

Drunken Lemur said...

I doubt that, Jwill. Well here's to five years before the reboot. Maybe the next one will actually take place on Cybertron.

Nicholas said...

I never thought I'd say this but this movie made me MISS Megan Fox...

Q: How is it possible to replace Megan Fox with someone so bad it makes her look like a competent actress?

A: In Michael Bay we trust.

But overall I think that my biggest problem with Dark of the Moon, was that it was even more tonally confused then Revenge of the Fallen was (if thats possible).

Example: we have this devastating and quite visually compelling scene of Chicago being absolutely destroyed and in the middle of all of this ridiculous destruction we have characters cracking jokes and the slightly less racist twin replacements running around sapping everything of its meaning.

Dave said...

I'm surprised you didn't mention how the actual story from this one not only attempts (yet fails) at drawing more of the source material from TF's Cold War narrative, but also the story itself seriously contradicts the entire plots behind the first two movies (the whole All-Spark schtick, etc.) with the Megatron/Sentinel thing. The first movie argued Megatron flew out after the All-Spark (which is never mentioned in Bayformers 3).

And otherwise, Bob, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I, too, am tired of the Blockbuster scene for many of the same reasons, and annoyed that the TFs are the side story in their own damn movie.

Makes you think whether or not Michael Bay just REALLY wants to make a G.I. Joe movie, eh?

Dave said...

Oh wait, nevermind, you do actually cover that in your intermission article. Very thorough, Bob. :D

But still..... what would you say about Michael Bay doing G.I. Joe? I think maybe that's a toy toon franchise he might actually be able to get right. He can show off Baroness's ass at the start of the movie, blow shit up and glorify the US military all he wants and hell, it'd probably be better than the G.I. Joe movie of the '80s!

Then again, it isn't hard to do better than that flick :P Just leave out the BET and Cobra-La XD

Aaron said...

Have you seen Community?

TheDVDGrouch said...

That little speech you gave at the end fully sums ups my feelings about both this movie & bad movies in general. Thank you for putting it all into words.

Axle said...

@Jwillx70

They should just play the original Beast Wars in theaters. I'd go see it and i already own the all the episodes.

Speaking of Beast Wars. It was 100% robots and totally awesome. Coincidence? I think not.

akkuma420 said...

Well before we get to "look forward" to him Bay doing G.I. Joe Movie... We get to see him destroy the Ninja Turtles next.
God I'm hoping the world ends before he gets to finish that.

0xFADE said...

All of his cool points eh?

How about instead of taking that stance you consider that the way he judges constitutionally is mostly always correct.

He didn't vote that way to get cred from anyone. He voted that way because it was the right thing to do.

Landstander said...

@Bob - You know how annoying you find Michael Bay's politics?
That's how annoying I find your politics.

I love your reviews and tend to like or hate the same movies you do, but I wish you'd keep politics out of your videos.

akkuma420 said...

@landstander
I could not possibly agree with you more.
I have alot of respect for Bob and his opinions because usually for the most part he's spot on with his criticism and suggestions...
But, Throwing your political views into every single video and calling your fans/viewers "mouth breathers" because they don't agree with what you have to say and have political views of there own is a little, I dunno, lame?

CraftyAndy said...

better then the second. Seems like they tried to finally throw in actual transformer lore in the last second. Maybe when they rebot this it'll just be a straight adaptation of IDW's comic book series Infiltration, escalation, devastation and All HAil Megatron.
You got a decepticon stealth fighter carrying a nuke, Omega Supreme vs. Devestaor, Humans who actual play a important role. The list goes on.

bigjkt said...

Heads Up. If you want to see some good Transformers G1 episodes go to the i09 blog and they have a link to some of stranger episodes of the old cartoon including when with old Snake aka Cobra Commander.

Unknown said...

I have lost all faith in Moviebob reviews. Lately, he just cannot land anything right, giving thumbs up to bad movies, and thumbs down to great movies. I'm sick of him and his Mechanicles (the villain from Aladdin, yes) viewpoints. It's stupid, and I'm fed up with it. There's better critics out there now, and I'm gonna start looking.

WaterBlender said...

@unknown, let us know who you find

@bob
a better line that leonard nemoy could've said. 'no sacrifice, no victory'. That would've worked alot better than having to use the star trek line. also you didn't comment on the end fight scene being the worst out of the trilogy, seriously less than 10 seconds, for OP vs M anyways. sentinel VS OP was okay

Dave from canada said...

@ Bob

I'm gonna have to side with the people getting annoyed at you inserting your own politics into everything here.

Last time I checked, military fetishism was not an exclusively conservative american trait so much as an american trait in general.

I'll not argue the relative quality of the movie here (I'm in a weird space given that it is obviously the strongest of the 3 as a film....but I came to watch a bloated robot schlockfest. I didn't want to care whether bumblebee survived or not. So despite it being a stronger movie, it wasn't what i really expected or wanted) but there's NOTHING in said film to excuse your attemtps to categorize people who happen to enjoy these films for what they are as mouth breathing reactionaries.

I'm from a country where the official opposition party is openly socialist. I doubt an american psyche could possibly fathom just how left wing I am. I still like the movies, regardless of what the director's politics might be.

We don't know what Bay's politics are. Near as I can tell, he's never expressed them, though the fact that he added Obama to ROTF and this movie as a thank you for Obama telling him he liked his movies would indicate that he's probably not the tea party birther that you'd like him to be.

I know you WANT him, and people to see his movies to personally embody everything you hate in the world to make is psychologicaly easier to accept the difference but the truth is never that simple.

And as a side note: A person who so vehemently evangelized misogynistic dreck like sucker punch should not be throwing stones at the audiences of any other movie. Criticize the movies, fine. But you are in NO position to be making judgements regarding the audiences' caliber based on your preferences and you damn well know it.

If Bay's films are truly as bad as you say, then you shouldn't need to lean on the crutch of attacking the viewers. For instance....notice how at no point during my post did I have to insult your viewers.

Dave from canada said...

@ Waterblender

That wouldn't have made sense though. Using the motto of a family he's never heard of in a messed up way? Didn't fit.

This may be the trekky in me, but having a 50 foot tall mechanical spock use The needs of the many as justification for mass murder was pretty effective.

David said...

The last bit of your review pretty much sums up my own attitude at this point. Currently I am working with team of VisFX artists and I get this all the time about beautifully rendered films such as Avatar but they just want to turn their brains off when it comes to the narrative. I yearn for more movies that can pull off cinematic excellence without compromising the narrative--it all comes down to taking the proper amount of time in development to hash out the story--which studios don't like and usually try to push for a faster development stage.

Granted, none of this stands for Micheal Bay films--looks bad on paper and worse in theaters.

Aiddon said...

I think about it this way with the politics issue: the film fired first. If it tries to throw politics into the picture (and knowing Ehren Kruger he probably thinks he's doing some kinda biting, meaningful commentary) then by all means critic has the right to rip into them if it sucks balls. That's not even the worst thing that movie does. The tasteless exploitation of the Challenger explosion, the WTC Incident, and even Chernobyl deserves to be slammed and ripped to shreds.

Dave said...

Am I the only one who realized that in the final hour of the movie, NONE of the Decepticons actually transform? They don't transform into the alien gunships, but instead each are piloted by a Decepticon inside.

Bots that don't actually transform into vehicles but pilot vehicles = Transformers movie FAIL. That is, of course, aside from the movie's other countless problems.

Michael said...

@axle
"Speaking of Beast Wars. It was 100% robots and totally awesome. Coincidence? I think not."

This is absolutely False! While Beast wars did rock, it was not human free. They play a major plot point near end of the series. Just watch the episode,Code of Hero. You'll see a human appear on screen in first 5 mins. (Not to mention a great episode.)

Humans play a huge part of nearly every series in Transformers. Even the original series had some very human heavy episodes. The movie didn't do anything the series as whole wasn't guilty of.- Lastjustice

motyr said...

Thanks, Bob, for making a point of putting most of your embedded videos underneath the "jump," it makes all the difference to the amount of time it takes to load your page.

WaterBlender said...

@dave from canada

excellent point, i felt the same way initially and line really made sense, but then i realised,'needs of the many?' how many transformers are there? maybe a few hundred total spread out over the galaxy, versus plus 6 billion humans. but it worked in the moment so i guess that counts as something

also i was just watching a vlog review of transformers on TGWTG, and i remembered who sentinel prime was in the cartoons, and then i remembered what they had done with him in the movies. i want to go back in time so i can walk out of that movie. it was a good plot twist that he did, but at the expense he did it at, and how he ended it.
no, just no.

steve said...

You moan like there is never a great film made in the summer, we sometimes get a balance of all out action films like transformers, and quality films like Nolan produces.

Bay knows the audience he is aiming for, and does it well. DOTM I loved this film, not everyone is going to make great story telling, you fail to forget we had inception last summer, in 2008 we had Dark Knight, so it is not like the summer is all crap. And allot of fans had problems with those 2 films, has many were saying many were over-hyping these films, or if it is transformers they are to much daft action and it sucks. Enjoy these films has they are, do not watch it if you know you are going to hate it.

akkuma420 said...

Meh... wasn't that bad. I think people need to stop dissecting these movies and just enjoy them for what they are... a popcorn action flick and a good reason to get out of the summer heat for a couple of hours.
I find it funny that people are getting so upset because a movie about "transforming cars" wasn't up to par... lol... get a fucking life.
It's a Transformers movie, stop bitching and just enjoy the ride... or even better yet... if you didn't like the previous 2, then DO NOT go see this one just to bitch about it.