Thursday, October 13, 2011

This Means Suck

Below, the trailer for "This Means War;" in which two CIA agent pals (Tom Hardy and Chris Pine) learn they're both dating Reese Witherspoon and... well, the title and such...

Oh yeah, let's all get in line for that, huh?

Anyone remember why I'm supposed to be exicted to see Chris Pine in ANYTHING? He was terrible in "Star Trek," and generally has all the charisma of the block of wood for which he is named (easy joke, I know, but still...)

For that matter, what happened to the new "Trek" reviving that franchise, again? Remember, that was supposed to happen? Movie made a bunch of money, reviews skewed pretty positive, and yet... Trek doesn't seem to be "back" at all. It's not hard to tell when a franchise is "hot" these days; and any objective read of Star Trek's pop-culture presence can tell you it's back to being as cold as when "Enterprise" went off the air. Where's the excitement, in the fandom or otherwise? The web is full-to-bursting with casting-rumor and "conceptual" fanart of every minor figure who MIGHT possibly show up in an "Avengers" sequel, but NOBODY is talking about who or what turns up in JJ Abrams Trek sequels.

Yeah, I didn't much care for the movie myself, but just looking at things objectively it seems to have COMPLETELY failed in it's mission-statement to make "Star Trek" a vital part of the cultural discussion again, no?


Darren Kopp said...

Why do we have british people working in the CIA? Has MI5 infiltrated our intelligence agency???

Anonymous said...

@Darren Kopp

The CIA will recruit anyone if they're good enough and loyal enough, the A doesn't stand for America after all.

As for the movie, looks a little generic, but still fun and I always like a blend of action and comedy.

Anonymous said...

You just had to slip in that Star Trek rant again, right?

Anonymous said...

And I know that I see the actual trailer, it looks pretty good! I might actually see this.

brocketrocket said...

In a way...this is the Kirk/Picard teamup movie that we've always wanted

Jeremy Pierce said...

"Directed by McG." That's all I needed to know to pass on this movie.

Dreolic said...

Tom Hardy again? He seems to be in everything, Dark knight, Tinker Tailor, Warrior, this and am sure I have seen him in a trailer for something else. Does the guy even sleep between movies.

Pat said...

This movie looks like crap, but I think the big reason Star Trek has gone "cold" again is because they are only just now starting to gear up for the next film.

Think of it like Batman Begins going into Dark Knight. Everyone really liked Batman Begins, but no one was really waiting on bated breath for the sequel until they started producing and promoting it.

It's hard to get excited about a franchise reboot after just one installment, especially with this much time in between. A good first installment is a good sign, but a solid second installment is what creates a cultural phenomenon.

So once production and marketing actually starts on the sequel in the near future, you can probably expect it to become a big deal again. And if it turns out as good or better than the first, then you can expect it to become a huge deal.

And sorry, Bob, but you're kind of in the minority in your opinion that Chris Pine wasn't a good Kirk. He looks awful in this movie, but most people thought he gave a solid Kirk performance. Granted, he was outperformed by just about everyone else in the cast, but that doesn't mean he didn't hold his own.

There are problems with Star Trek, particularly if you compare it to TOS and TNG, in that they ended up making something that was closer to Star Wars than Star Trek, but that doesn't make it a bad movie.

Dave from canada said...

@ bob

Lol @ objective.

i09 deals with Star trek casting/script rumours almost weekly.

Just a week ago they detailed how the upcoming comic series will tie the two movies together.

I hate Abrams turn on trek (and honestly pretty much everything the guy has done) more than anyone I've met but the only reaons people aren't talking about it is because it's far away.

Kysafen said...

I read the headline description, and acted no further than this comment.

Hollywood, how far have we fallen into the uncanny valley of what it means to be entertained? Do you really think that you can perpetuate this vacuum of garbage and expect in nature that people can in fact stay stupid enough to feed it?

What is the passage of time and growth when there is little to nothing to show of it? The past is present is future. It's a graveyard. Film.


Huggiesunrise said...

It probably would have been better to see a series on television since.. so much of trek existed in the 90's and now in reruns.

The show was always the best intended format of it, I just guess well have to wait for a few generations of reruns to inspire some kids out there to make a new show worth a damn.

Brady said...

enough with the star trek bashing, admit it you were wrong, it was a great fucking movie and chris pine was great in it, stop trying to prove a point that has been done to death by you

Ralphael said...

holy shit she has a huge chin

Arturo said...

OK,I guess I could give this a sh- McG?!?! Dammit

Anonymous said...

I liked that tralier. Mostly the "make it rain" part but otherwise that was neat. I can see a movie I won't like however, even if the tralier looks neat.

HolyJunkie said...

On one hand, it's got Tom Hardy. Freakin' love that guy. His performance in Warrior is the sole reason why Bane is going to work in DKR.

On the other hand, it's more or less a rom-com that took "mild inspiration" from MAD of all things.

Also... I... can't... imagine... JJ Abrams... replacement for... Shatner... being a real... spy. He... looks and acts... more... like... a douche... bag.

And why didn't they have Tom Hardy disguise his voice again for this one?

genguidanos said...

I'm not really sure how a sequel to the Star Trek reboot is going to work. The only aspects of Star Trek that anyone remembers anymore these days are Kahn and his wrath and the Borg. The Borg wont work because they were not around during the time of Kirk and Spock without even more bullshit time travel (ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING TIME TRAVEL) and Kahn wont work because the whole point of Khan was him getting revenge for a past wrong Kirk committed against him, which he hasn't done yet because he just started his career as a captain.

Anonymous said...

Mostly the trailer was boring and stupid, but for some reason the "why is she listening to that old man?" "I have no idea" part really got me laughing. If it turns out that there's some running joke about her having an old man voice then I'll be disappointed, but if it's just a random thing then I'm behind that one joke. It almost seemed like something BriTANick would've thrown in.

Jim Bentley said...

Keep in mind Bob, that Bill Shatner never really acted well in anything, so Chris Plank (you're right, easy joke) is well suited to pick up that role, it's not one that calls for a wide range of acting skills.

And yeah, Spy Vs Spy (isn't this the rumoured Mad magazine adaptation) looks pretty awful.

Anonymous said...

What Abram's movie did for Trek was make a whole bunch of young women go back and see the original series, which is a great thing or a really bad thing, depending on your perspective. The new leads were hot, the girls wanted more, went back to the original and discovered that it was awesome.
Check out the slash fanfiction communities and you'll see where the action went.
However, it is true that even that part of fandom seems to be dozing while waiting for the next film.

MovieBob said...


Shatner is no Olivier, but he was at least ALIVE on Trek - a hammy actor in an era/genre/style that called for it.

Pine shows less inner life as Kirk than the guy playing SPOCK; and that's kind of a problem.

Nathan said...


See, I'm kinda with you on the "Shatner never acted well in anything" deal. But, with that in mind Pine could have run with the character and really made it his own. But, he failed and merely tried to, in my opinion, give an homage to Shatner's Kirk.


Your comment doesn't make sense to me. I mean, if women were all hot and bothered by the male leads in the new version of Star Trek, wouldn't they just... I dunno... Watch Star Trek again? Instead of digging out a 50 year old tv series?

David (The Pants) said...

I hope they get discharged for using (see also: wasting) CIA resources over a stupid feud over a woman. A lying one at that. There must have been a gentlemanly way of settling things. Like for example, pranking her and leaving her to remain bros. There may not be a whole movie in there, but that idea is far superior.