Friday, November 11, 2011

"Snow White & The Huntsman" Looks... Good?

Tim Burton's incredibly shitty "Alice in Wonderland" made a shit ton of money, so someone in Hollywood decided that "dark fairy tale" was the next big trend; so now we've got two TV shows running with the "fairytale people hiding in modern world" concept, and next year there'll be two seperate live-action "epic fantasy" re-dos of Snow White.

Below, the trailer for the first one - "Snow White & The Huntsman" - (the other is Tarsem Singh's "Mirror Mirror,") which doesn't seem to feature even one Dwarf but DOES feature Charlize Theron as The Wicked Queen, Chris Hemsworth as Thor But With An Axe Instead and Kristen Stewart as the (functionally mute?) title character. It looks, shockingly, not horrible...



What can I say? Recasting the Wicked Queen as a high-fantasy shine on Elizabeth Bathory  (I'm literally astonished they were able to resist making her a straight-up vampire) is kind of inspired, the bald-faced LOTR-knockoff aesthetic works and I kind of love that the "X-TREEEEEEME!" version of The Magic Mirror is essentially a medieval T-1000.

Also, let's not be coy; Theron looks amazing. In fact - and there's just no way to say this without sounding mean, but it's true - the least plausible thing in this swords/sorcery/monster/fantasy is the idea that Charlize Theron is grousing around the palace jealous of Kristen Stewart's (or anyone else's, really) looks.

23 comments:

Jim Bentley said...

That looks awesome, nice one Moviebob

Jim Bentley said...

That looks awesome. Nice one Moviebob.

Jim Bentley said...

I think I may have commented that twice, sorry. I am a real person though.

John.E said...

"which doesn't seem to feature even one Dwarf"

1:11 Take a closer look

lemonvampire said...

Sorry, Bob, but I will never ever pay for a movie that stars either Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner. Ever.

lemonvampire said...

Though I am curious to see whether Stewart's finally learned to breathe through her nose so that she can actually make it through a scene without that vacant gape-mouthed stare of hers.

lemonvampire said...

And now I've actually watched the trailer and, no, there isn't a single shot of Stewart where her mouth isn't gaping open like some inbred buffoon.
Can she at least make it through a complete sentence in this movie without pausing for thirty seconds in the middle while she desperately tries to remember what she's saying?

Anyway, the rest of this does look really great, and I'd be totally excited for it if it had anyone else in the lead. Except maybe Megan Fox.

Anonymous said...

Hey, looks pretty good!

Semi-related: they did the same functionally-mute thing with Robert Pattinson in the Water for Elephants trailer.

Angry Man said...

It actually does look not bad. I'm still incredulous though. The whole gritty fairytail reboot thing can't help but feel completely ridiculous. Also, what gives with the Tron music?

The Lonely Wizzard said...

@John.E
Well spotted!

Unknown said...

Quick, somebody do a fan vid for Thor 2 using this footage for Theron to play Amora the Enchantress....STAT!

vamast said...

jesus fuckign christ, why is she wearin armor, this sint joan of arc, why doesnt someone make a joan of arc movie or was th eold one good enoguh not to need a remake? jesus, everything looked fine but why cant she not be in armor? its not like it is easy to wear and let alone put on...

Taylor said...

Wow! A dark take on a fairy tale! It's so dark and grim and edgy! Look at the way that thor spins his axes! This aint your grandmas fairy tale.

Boring. Boring tripe using special effects as a crutch to hide that it's essentially one pretentious idea trying to pass itself off as revolutionary.

(Oh wow! The mirror is liquid metal? That's SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING than a magic mirror!)

David (The Pants) said...

That mirror is bitchin'.

Aiddon said...

meh, all I have to say is that the person who did the screenplay for that godawful Alice movie should be ashamed of themselves.

Maniacal Fox said...

Mirror is pretty damn cool, and as for the whole "Theron being jealous of Stewart's looks"; there is a little loophole.Technically the T-1000 mirror said destined to be more beautiful. So...there's that. Kinda keeps the suspension of disbelief...

Harvey said...

Doesn't look too bad. Also, has anyone else heard that Nick Frost is in this. That's me in then.

Ryan said...

I'm having a hard time imagining that this movie will do anything that "Snow White: A Tale of Terror" didn't already do better except make Charlize Theron look pretty...but I've got "2 Days in the Valley" already, so I'm not sure I need this one.

KingOfDoma said...

Lemonvampire: I refer you to FilmCritHulk's Never Hate A Movie article (and while I'm at it, his Acting 101 article too) and hope that you'll never stop giving actors and directors chances to impress you. All the friends I know are psyched about it, and despite my feelings on Kristen Stewart, I'm going to try to be, too.

Blue Highwind said...

In what insane universe is Kristian Stewart prettier than Charlize Theron? What Hollywood moron created this thing?

The Karligarchy said...

Well I guess it was only a matter of time before Hollywood got on the dark fairy tale boat. Comics has been doing this a lot in the past decade, Grimm´s Fairy Takes, Wizard of Oz, Fables, etc. Though if we can get a decent Fables movie or mini series, I think I can agree to this fad for next 2-3 years. Im actually surprised Hollywood took this long to get around to it actually.

KevinCV said...

Ditto, Karligarchy. Especially given the onslaught of fairy tale parodies, and/or fairy tales undergoing the "Disneyfication" process. It's high time these fairy tales are shown the way they should be and give kids -as well as other people- a sense of reality about the world.

Taylor said...

KevinCV

Know, this is NOT the way fables were supposed to work. Grimm brothers wrote them with plenty of intensity and dark moments, but this is not that. The effect came across because the books had light tone and soft images which made the moments of darkness stand out.

This is slathering it in dark, edginess (Which Bob hated in every video game adaptation) to force "look at us! We're edgy and mature!" in everyone's face to convince it it must be great.

Also, people keep saying "disneyfication", but Disney's snow white was a masterpiece, and it had quite a bit of dark and edgy moments, without trying too hard.