Wednesday, February 29, 2012

"Cowboy Ninja Viking" Is Your Next Funny-Name Theatrical-Failure

Deadline reports that Universal is setting up a feature-film adaptation of the 2009 Image comic "Cowboy Ninja Viking," (which I bet get's retitled as just "C.N.V.") a riff on the Bourne setup of highly-trained, mentally-reconditioned assassins with a high(er)-concept twist: The brainwash-ees are mental-patients with Multiple Personality Disorder, the supposed benefit being that each individual personality is trained in a different discipline; hence the title character alternately has the "powers" of a Cowboy, a Ninja and a Viking (there is, apparently, also a Pirate Gladiator Ocenaographer.)

Y'know, because both "Snakes on a Plane" and "Cowboys & Aliens" were both massive, runaway boxoffice hits and all...

Hollywood? As someone who is pretty-much THE target audience for the "Ha-Ha-That-Sounds-Like-A-Fake-Thing-But-It's-A-Real-Thing-So-I-Guess-Maybe-It's-Awesome" genre you haven't figured out isn't working for you yet, lemme help you out here:

MOST OF THE AUDIENCE THAT FINDS "MEME"-STYLE HUMOR LIKE THIS TITLE FUNNY ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE *NEVER* GOING TO PAY FOR IT OR ANY OTHER MOVIE YOU MAKE. YOU MAY AS WELL JUST CALL IT "PIRATE TORRENT DOWNLOAD."

Thank you for your time.

12 comments:

KingParappa said...

wtf?

Sam said...

Expanding a small, oft-repeated in joke into a whole movie only really worked for 'The Aristocrats'.

Mr Fist said...

Meh, I'll see it regardless since Marc Forster is directing.

Chris said...

Almost sounds like the male equivalent to Sucker Punch

Lost said...

I think I'd be more interested in a film called "Pirate Film Torrent".

Right now "Abraham Lincoln - Vampire Hunter", is the only film I have any interest in seeing with a ludicrous sounding name and plot. Who knows if the film will actually be successful, or even any good.

Anonymous said...

Oh bob, you know me too well.

Chris said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zES4-nryEl4

New Avenger's Trailer (just in case someone missed)

Blue Highwind said...

They do this but then they cancel Del Toro's "At the Mountains of Madness".

Anyway, this actually doesn't sound all that bad. And I'm the one person who actually went to see "Snakes on a Plane", because well... Samuel L. Jackson. If this movie has Samuel L., I'm in.

Anonymous said...

The title may be absurd but I like the concept. Multiple personalities each trained in a different discipline? I approve.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see that Bob is continuing his tradition of inducing the cause of a movie's box-office failure (TITLES! ARE! WEIRD!) and applying that rule to all subsequent movies that have superficial similarities.

This is why we respect you, buddy.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Anonymous from 1:55. If it's good, I may see it.

Unknown said...

I can't help but feel you may be right.

The sad part?

The comics are good. Really, really, fucking good. Every character is awesome, the dialogue sizzles, the fights are outrageous, and the villain is balls-to-the-wall mustache twirling crazy, knows it, and doesn't even give a shit.

The underlying gag is more or less that they set up with this utterly insane concept, and then act, for all the world, like they're playing it straight. They're not, and the humor is brilliant, but all the more so for the fact that they keep passing it all off as a dark and serious mystery thriller, and doing a damn fine job of it.

(I could rant more, but instead I'll save some pixels, and allow myself some shameless self promotion by pointing to my full review, here - http://www.rgbfilter.com/?p=6243)

If nothing else, understand this: Cowboy Ninja Viking is a story about a rogue psychiatrist using weaponized multiple-personality disorder to bring down the US government. The last defense of the free world? A lunatic, an angry college student, and billionaire playboy therapist.

I cannot fucking wait.