Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Not Needed

Oh goody - "Need For Speed" is making the jump to the big screen.

For those keeping track, the score is:

ZELDA: No movie.
SUPER MARIO BROS: One insignificant movie, two decades ago.
METROID: No movie.
MEGA MAN: No movie.
METAL GEAR: No movie.
CASTLEVANIA: No movie.
FINAL FANTASY: Two movies, one bad one just-okay-as-fanservice.

But "Need For Speed?" Oh yeah, let's film the FUCK out of that. Egh...

25 comments:

Red the Fister said...

didn't they already make that movie five times? something about moving at high speeds and being very angry starring Riddic, right?

JeffBergeron said...

Double Dragon
Street Fighter
Mortal Kombat
Wing Commander
Tomb Raider
Resident Evil
House Of The Dead
Alone In The Dark
Doom
BloodRayne
Silent Hill
Postal
Hitman
Dungeon Siege
Far Cry
Max Payne
Tekken
Prince Of Persia

You know what? Given the track record, I'm kind of glad the next game that's being turned into a shitty movie is "Need For Speed" and not "Metroid" or "Portal"...

Cyrus said...

I'm actually rather happy that most of these franchises have been spared so far.

Lavaros said...

Didn't they make five Need for Speed movies already?
They where called Fast and the Furious. They sucked. Can't we call it a day?

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, because Zelda, a series where the main character doesn't talk, would work SO well as a movie. Because Metroid, a series where the main character spends most of her time alone and thus with nobody to interact with, would work SO well as a movie. Because Mario, a series with no plot at all, would work SO well as a movie. Because Castlevania, a series so lost in its own continutity that even Konami doesn't know what's canon anymore, would work SO well as a movie. If Mega Man were turned into a movie, it would just repeat itself over and over again, just like the games did/do, and you'd complain about it. Metal Gear is pretty much a movie anyway. Final Fantasy too, and half of the plots in that series are either extremely basic or make no fucking sense.

TL;DR Some video games are not suited to film. You'd fanboy the FUCK out of an official Zelda movie, yet the rest of the film-going world wouldn't give a shit. So let the Need For Speed fans have their fun; the games are good enough to warrant something like this.

TheGreatSashimi said...

I'll admit it subtly bugs me too that the franchises you mentioned haven't been adapted to film.I kind of hate that it does though, because I think it indicates that I'm still somewhat insecure about the legitimacy of videogames as an artistic medium.

Maybe we desire our favorite IPs from videogames/comics and other "nerdier" mediums to be made into movies because movies are unfortunately still far more respected and accepted as 'serious business' by the public at large. I think that the nagging, unwelcome biological desire to fit in with the rest of humanity claws at the back of our minds, making us long for something that proves who 'we' are fits in with who 'they are' by jamming an integral part of our cultural sphere into their cultural sphere.

On some level I think that when a videogame series I love is adapted into a movie, it's like my appreciation for the game is somehow justified by the fact that the game is deemed 'worthy' enough to pass into the mainstream medium of film. And I hate that I feel that way because I know full well that videogames are worthy as fuck to be respected and accepted as they are, but I clearly don't respect my own conscious convictions enough to fully want games to stand tall on their own.

Basically I think that our desire for stuff to be adapted into movies boils down to the fact that we want to feel a connection to the people that alienated us via a conduit we already emotionally connect with (nerdy stuff), but we feel we need to modify this conduit to be palatable for the public at large.

I understand this feeling. Heck, I FEEL this feeling, but I think videogames as an art-form deserve more respect from both sides of the fence between "nerds and norms". These games were clearly powerful enough in their own right and in their current form to grab a place in our hearts, so I'd call it a disservice to dilute their impact by actively desiring that their experience be twisted or even diluted just to connect to a new audience. The games connected to US as they are, that should be good enough.


P.S. Not to be knocking adaptations in general by the way. The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy has been adapted to just about every medium there is and retained at least a fair amount of greatness in each case. I'm just saying we shouldn't WISH for an adaptation because doing so implies that the original was inadequate in its medium. If a solid adaptation that puts an interesting new spin on the experience of the original is made, there's no reason we can't appreciate it.

Eze said...

The thing is this:

Seeing the potential Hollywood has to do great things (heck, they pulled off Willow in the 1980's and that was a Ron Howard film), it's not impossible that these films could be made. That said, seeing the potential Hollywood has to do horrible movies (SF: The legend of Chun Li), it's not expected that these films will happen, or will happen well.

Gospel X said...

This is hardly a shock for me. Need for Speed barely has a plot, which means they can easily wedge in plot without any resistance from fans. Then there's also the fact that the movie would be nothing but product placement. Easy money.

Not condoning it, but it's pretty surprising it hasn't happened sooner.

Anonymous said...

It could be far worse, for the Need for Speed franchise doesn't have a lot of plot or characters people are attached to, it will attract the people that enjoyed "The Fast and the Furious" franchise of movies.

Andy Warth said...

Just wanted to say...

Street Fighter - Raul Julia makes the rest of the movie worth it.
Mortal Kombat - Awesome movie, the movie the game deserved.
Doom - Best movie Doom could have gotten.
Silent Hill - Awesome movie. you know it's true.
Prince Of Persia - Meh, but not a bad movie.

Aiddon said...

meh, it could be worse. Plus after the disaster of the Mario movie Nintendo has sworn off letting ANYONE make movies out of their games which is probably for the best. A film adaptation of a game is like a novel of a movie. At best it's superfluous due to it taking away the mechanic unique to the medium.

David (The Pants) said...

Anon @ 4:50 Dude. Every movie before The Jazz Singer (and a few after, including THIS YEARS OSCAR WINNER (and Oscar snub, in a way, with Drive's Gosling)) Had main characters who didn't talk. Worked fine, bro.

Anonymous said...

Metal Gear won't get a movie because it already is a generic action movie that has ripped off way too much to not be panned out the gate. Also, at least half of those already have a ton of screen adaptations... in Japan. They're unlikely to ever get the American blockbuster treatment because the companies just don't trust us not to completely and irrevocably fuck it up any more.

J.C. Hedges said...

In spite of it being an April Fools joke, I think IGN had a winner in the making with their fake Zelda trailer.

Andrew said...

No Bob, no. That's a bad Bob. Go sit in your corner.

A Zelda movie NEVER needs to be made. Never. The story structure an characters are made in such a way that a big-screen adaptation would do nothing but demolish them. short, 5-minute fan-made film? Sure, could work marvelously. 90-minute long feature? No. No no no no no no. A hundred grillion times no. Quit wanting things that the game industry does not want or need, Bob. Quit that. Bad Bob. Bad.

Mads said...

Total number of need for speed games yet:
The Need for Speed
Need for Speed II
Need for Speed III: Hot Pursuit
Need for Speed: High Stakes/Road Challenge
Need for Speed: Porsche Unleashed/Porsche 2000
Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2
Need for Speed: Underground
Need for Speed: Underground 2
Need for Speed: Most Wanted
Need for Speed: Carbon
Need for Speed: ProStreet
Need for Speed: Undercover
Need for Speed: Shift
Need for Speed: Nitro
Need for Speed Nitro-X
Need for Speed: World
Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit
Shift 2: Unleashed
Need for Speed: The Run

So...About 19 games.

Yeah, no way that franchise is big enough to warrant a movie.

Jackrabbit$lim said...

Because you didn't play it as a kid, it therefore must not be made into a movie? Given that I haven't seen a video game adaptation that was the slightest bit worth a damn, I want to see them not fuck up a movie based on a franchise I don't care about before they touch Metal Gear or Castlevania.

Jackrabbit$lim said...

Oh, and correction:

Super Mario Bros.: One festering pile of drizzling goat shit passed off as a movie.

JPArbiter said...

well we got that Mega Man Fan Movie that was okay.

Zelda would be a terrible movie because fans would be arguing about what portions of the diverse mythology should or should not be included.

no need for a Metal gear movie, the Directors cuts are the games

Honestly, Castlevania would be better off as a Mini Series of one hour Animateds

Final Fantasy... yeah which one? you literally can make any film you want and call it Final Fantasy so long as you see a Chocobo and Moogle.

Arturo said...

Need for Speed:
Fast and the Furious 6

Chris Cesarano said...

I'm uncertain what you mean "both" Final Fantasy movies. I guess Advent Children is number two? Because my first thought was actually the anime loosely based around Final Fantasy V's universe back in the day.

There was also a Final Fantasy anime series at one point, wasn't there?

I don't suppose Japanese entertainment quite counts the same here, though in truth Street Fighter: The Animated Movie seems like a proper template for taking a video game and making a movie out of it (note: I'm not saying the movie is A+++ in quality or has amazing writing. Adaptation isn't "make the game into a movie/book", it's "retranslate the core elements into a new medium").

Then again, the Prince of Persia film is a perfect example as well, particularly as Jordan Mechner wrote it.

The big issue is that most of the games you mentioned, Bob, aren't "what's hot" right now. Then again, I wouldn't have thought Need for Speed was hot either, but I guess it's selling enough units to be considered as such. Same with Rampage.

But back to my original point: no, Link doesn't speak in the games, but that's because he's an extension of the player. The protagonist in a film must be someone the audience can relate to, but they don't have to be an extension of the audience. Making a Link that can speak is easy as pie. He's going to be a goody-two-shoes, potentially a reluctant hero. "Hero of Time? Impa, I'm just a lowly farm boy!" "It is you who must take up the Master Sword and save the Princess, Link." "Very well, for the Princess."

Or you can just write Link Skywalker.

It's not hard to write a speaking Link and keep consistent with the series.

Legend of Zelda is honestly perfect film material. Make a combination of the first game and Ocarina of Time and you'd be good (I doubt there'd be enough time to involve a Young Link, so keep him as teenage Link probably).

I can see a Mega Man film being done in 3-D, potentially in the vein of Kung Fu Panda, Astro Boy or Insert-Pixar-Film-Here. The problem is that Mega Man isn't nearly as profitable a property and mostly works for nostalgia. While you can bet your ass every 25+ years gamer with kids is going to be seeing a Mega Man film while dragging their children, it's totally possible for each one to be bringing baggage.

I'm gonna be honest, the biggest problem with adapting a big name game property that is good enough to be worthy of a movie are gamers themselves.

Axle said...

The first FF movie was Spirits Within. I didn't think it was terrible but I was pretty young then and it wasn't really recognizable as Final Fantasy (which admittedly doesn't mean much).

I wouldn't really say I want to see the more classic games as movies, but arguments like "Link doesn't talk" and "Samus spends too much time alone" are the pretty weak.

Andrew said...

Also, to all those ripping on Bob for wanting video-game movies (and I was one ripping on him, look above), you also have to keep in mind that he is a Video Game commentator as well as a Movie critic and is a massive nerd for both things simultaneously. There is very little he would probably want more than to see both of these mediums telling the same stories.


He's just wrong about it is all.

nejiblue said...

No interest in seeing any of those as movies. Sorry, but zelda for example is wonderful as it is and what it was always meant to be: a game. It's a new medium, and one that WILL find it's voice with a new generation. It doesn't have to become a movie to find it's place with main-stream US, the 50-plus year old mummies that care about nothing except themselves and there short-sighted interests. As far as I'm concerned, If they cannot value zelda for what it is, that's there fault. To me, this all seems like bob projecting the US comic book medium onto others, since it's been dead for decades and has to live thorough other mediums now(in other words, the avengers).

Chris Cesarano said...

I disagree with the two posts above, actually. Cross-media adaptations are actually great methods of reaching new audiences, or simply expanding for fans.

As an example, I actually had no interest in Resident Evil until the film came out. Not necessarily because the film was any good (not really), but because my friends that HAD played the games were talking about it on the way there, and it sounded like something pretty awesome. So I pre-ordered REmake for the GameCube, and it became one of my favorite games of all time (as well as RE4).

It could be that a film DONE RIGHT that's based on a game could make someone think "Huh, maybe I should see what this is all about". Sort of like how the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Hunger Games films boosted awareness and sales of the books.