Tuesday, May 01, 2012

I Just Don't Know Anymore

Universal has inked a major production deal with Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, the writers of the "Transformers" movies and the "Star Trek" reboot, that will include among other things a remake of "Van Helsing" with Tom Cruise tapped to star. Yes, really - a do-over of a failed decade-old Hugh Jackman vehicle starring Tom Cruise. I don't even know where to start a joke about that...

K&O have had a good year as deals go - despite "Cowboys & Aliens" tanking, they've already lined up this new set of projects plus an agreement to take over the writing duties on Sony's pre-planned "Amazing Spider-Man" sequel (the gossip is that Sony is VERY unhappy with how "ASM" has turned out, and are effectively looking to reboot the reboot in terms of a new creative team if the film does well enough to get a sequel.)

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

what is this i don't even

Steve said...

You know, we're really not asking much for monster movies these days.

A clash between all of the twentieth century hollywood monsters set in a victorian setting sounds amazing, and shouldn't be that hard to fuck up.

So why are they fucking it up so easily?

Bob, I think if anything, the writers should look to The Avengers to see how group dynamics/brawls work, and apply that to this movie.

Rem said...

They want to reboot the reboot of Spiderman? Damnit, it was looking better than the 'darker' and 'edgy' Spiderman 3.

huntaur said...

I feel like Kurtzman and Orci have just stretched themselves so thin with so many projects that they aren't even trying that hard anymore. I imagine they're feeling more pressure to meet deadlines than to be creative at this point.

KevinCV said...

Reboot the reboot? Ugh. Excuse my language, but why doesn't Sony just fucking give the rights back to Marvel already? It's become increasingly clear that since they screwed Sam Raimi out of the franchise that they have no damn idea how to make a Spider-Man movie.

Sam Robards, Comic Fan said...

For all I know, ASM could be great, but, as it stands right now, I think Sony should just put this one out there, let time pass and finally give the rights back to Marvel.

They clearly jumped over the deep end after Spider-Man 2.

As for K&O, Fringe is my favorite show currently on tv (and one of my favorite shows ever), but I don't know how much involvement they actually have with it.

The rest of their stuff is a big bowl full of meh.

Anonymous said...

I really didn't think Van Helsing was that bad, for what it was meant to be. As an homage to the original Universal "House Of" mash-up films it works perfectly.
That said, it certainly isn't a great film by any means. It's a campy, cgi-heavy spectacle that's riddled with plot holes and drags on for at least thirty minutes past the point where it's still fun and just becomes tedious.
But I honestly don't think Orci and Kurtzman are going to do any better with it and I don't see the point in trying to reboot the thing anyway.

Lord Slithor said...

I'll believe the Van Helsing reboot rumors once I see it's been confirmed. Personally, I liked that movie. But it's less than 10 years old, and wasn't seen as a success. So why bother?

Personally, i rather like Kurtzman & Orci's work. A lot of people hate them because of their scripts for the first two Transformers movies, but Michael Bay actually had more input on that. Their script for J.J. Abrams Star Trek was good. And they also created and produced both Fringe and Transformers: Prime which have both gotten a lot of praise. So they're not really the hacks everyone says they are.

But yeah, while I'm hoping The Amazing Spider-Man is good, if it does end up tanking, I'm hoping that'll give Marvel/Disney the excuse to swoop in and buy the rights back; especially if Sony ends up selling off its Sony Pictures division like some analysts think they might. Same with Fox, who looks to be on shaky ground itself what with the Rupert Murdoch trial. I'm hoping if things go a certain way on that, that Marvel/Disney will also try to use it as a pretense to get the Fantastic Four and X-Men movie rights back as well.

But I'm really surprised at this buzz that Sony is unhappy with the movie. So far, however, the only place I've heard anything about that is here from you. Can you cite any specific sources or reasons why, Bob?

Sylocat said...

So, is Hugh Jackman going to remake Eyes Wide Shut now?

Lido said...

That's so annoying cause the original Van Helsing is SO good ugh annoyed

Pyrian said...

Lord Slithor: "So far, however, the only place I've heard anything about that is here from you."

You could have tried clicking on the link in the sentence you're referring to.

Anonymous said...

(the gossip is that Sony is VERY unhappy with how "ASM" has turned out, and are effectively looking to reboot the reboot in terms of a new creative team if the film does well enough to get a sequel.)

Sony? Sony is brand, not a person. Who the fuck are you talking about?

Joshua the Anarchist said...

...MovieBob say what now?

I mean, really? Marketing research is honestly telling them there's any interest in another Van Helsing? Sure, the original is a guilty pleasure of mine, but flawed as it is, I have little faith Orci & Kurtzman will do any better.

biomechanical923 said...

I have no problem with a Van Helsing remake, considering that the original had possibly the. Worst. Dracula. Ever.

That being said, the greatest homage/remake to classic Universal monsters will always be "The Mummy"

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who is wishing ASM to fail miserably so the rights go back to Marvel, and we see a Marvel Movie Universe version of Spidey?

Joshua the Anarchist said...

No Anonymous #4, you are not the only one. I wish the same of X-men & especially Fantastic Four, if only so I can finally see the Hulk and the Thing slug it out on the big screen.

MerelyAFan said...

Well Bob you hate Sony, and Sony apparently hates Amazing Spider-Man, so maybe that means you'll love it.

(Cue Escape to the Movies review in two months where Bob mentions that hating the film is the one thing him and Sony have in common)

john said...

@biomechanical923: You had better merely be forgetting about The Monster Squad, sir. If you are dissing it I shall have very strong words for you.

KevinCV said...

john, that's one of my favorite movies. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's watched of it.

Then again, I'm 25 and the only one in my group of friends who knows who Rex Harrison was other than the fact that he's the actor who provided Seth MacFarlane the inspiration for the voice of Stewie Griffin. I'm also the only one in said group who's seen the Jimmy Stewart classic "Harvey".

biomechanical923 said...

I thought "Monster Squad" was more of a parody.

Aiddon said...

rebooting the reboot? That'd be hilarious. Guess they'll just keep milking it until it tanks and they're forced to give up the rights.

Anonymous said...

OK, we've had Spider-man, we're about to get Amazing Spider-man, what's next? Incredible Spider-man? Ultimate Spider-man? Shit, they may as well make the next one about the clone saga.

The Offender said...

Well, this is the last straw. Any faith i once had in the potential of Hollywood is dead today.

Jeremy said...

Fine by me. They should be remaking the bad movies - leave the good ones alone.

Jeremy said...

"Excuse my language, but why doesn't Sony just fucking give the rights back to Marvel already?"

Since when do corporations just 'give' up multi-million dollar franchises?

KevinCV said...

"Since when do corporations just 'give' up multi-million dollar franchises?"

When it's becoming increasingly clear that they have no fucking clue how to handle them.

Anonymous said...

Sony probably stands to make more money keeping their claws clenched tight around Spider-Man than they would offering to sell the rights back for a nine digit sum (which Disney would probably be more than willing to pay). Mere peons like us will never understand why they do what they do; there are people that handle global economic policy that don't have a clue what the fuck goes on in Hollywood.

Anonymous said...

The Van Helsing movie is a guilty pleasure of mine. Sure, it is dumb and made out of plotholes and steriotypes, but it is not insulting me and its silly, fun and actionpacked. However, I am not looking forward to a reeboot. Why not a sequel? There must be other Victorian Monsters left to fight. Like the invisible man or...err... the Martians maybe? Come to think about, this could be the better League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie...