Thursday, September 13, 2012

It Will Happen Again

Below, the trailer for "Texas Chainsaw 3D," which is not a continuation of the godawful Michael Bay-produced remakes but rather a direct sequel to the original 1974 film... not that there's really any indication of what the difference is from this trailer:

16 comments:

M2 said...

I quite literally JUST watched the original film two days ago in film school. Now that I think about it, it was probably intentional.

Sam said...

Okay, the first minute of this trailer looks like Cabin in the Woods played straight.

Also, Bob, you have the hardest captcha I've seen in a long time. It's starting to convince me that I might be a robot.

biomechanical923 said...

Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, Bob??

You're using Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a jumping off point to lash out at Michael Bay, even thought he only Produced them?

Besides, I thought Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) was quite good for a slasher flick (although I may be biased because I have a weak spot for R. Lee Ermey).

Chris said...

They might as well make any next horror movie called "Five Kids in a Van" for about as cliche as it is.

biomechanical923 said...

P.S.

@Sam

"Okay, the first minute of this trailer looks like Cabin in the Woods played straight."

Our thirst for blood must be quenched every year. :)

Lido said...

are we sure this isn't some horrible fan film that somehow got a budget? Seriously this production value is for shit, also are we really gonna redo the whole "leather face is a cross dresser" thing from #4? I thought we'd moved past that misstep. Seriously what is even the point of this movie? can't we create new horror franchises instead of beating dead horses?

Arturo said...

I know movies of this nature are populated with not terribly bright cannon fodder but "OH, COME THE FUCK ON!" were literally the words that flew out of my mouth during the scene with the girl and the coffin.

Elessar said...

Okay seriously, we're still doing Texas Chainsaw Movies? They only horror series that had a faster decline in sequel quality was Nightmare on Elm Street, and that's only cuz of Freddy's Revenge. TCM was a once in a lifetime horror movie, one that no one involved has been able to replicate. Let it go people.

And that trailer looks fucking TERRIBLE.

Unknown said...

the original is still shit. srly, nothing happens

Nathan said...

@Arturo

No kidding. I'm fairly certain that the blonde is in the middle of trying to kick the blade of the chainsaw away from her before they cut away at 1:47.

Anonymous said...

Yeah by 0:42, from the dialogue ALONE I was saying "Cabin in the Woods, Cabin in the Woods..."

Dustin Hiser said...

A van, tiny red shorts....

Are we sure this isn't a remake?

Joe said...

@biomechanical923:

Every classic horror film franchise remade by Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes production company was an utter travesty, not just Chainsaw Massacre. Bob's on solid footing there.

biomechanical923 said...

@Joe

Try telling that to the millions of horror fans who bought and enjoyed the movies.

Sure it's schlock, but it's entertaining schlock.

Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean it should stop existing. That's juvenile.

Anonymous said...

I agree that I don't like most of platnium dune remakes, but honestly bob another chance for you to beat up on Michael Bay. He only produced it, not like he wrote or anyhing. Then again I often wonder why, you have such a blind hatred for the man anyway.

KevinCV said...

@Anonymous 3:55

Given that Michael Bay is possibly in Bob's mind the embodiment of everything that wrong in Hollywood right now, as well as the fact that they still hired him for the "Transformers" movies despite his initial refusal going along the lines of "I don't want to do a stupid toy movie", I think Bob has every right to be a bit bitter.