Friday, February 15, 2013

Paul Walker to star in gritty reboot of The Energizer Bunny

I actually like Paul Walker a lot. He looks like "the guy who comes with the picture frame," but he's perfectly willing to throw himself into the most absurd/stupid movie scenarios and hold a straight face - think Kyle McLachlan, only he never found "his" David Lynch.

Anyway, his new movie "Hours" looks like a prime example one of my absolute guiltiest pleasures: Spectacularly-unlikely "and THEN!!!!" story contrivances played as 100% straight melodrama - the sort of movie where watching the rest of the audience actually buy into the hacky, blatantly-manufactured suspense and "investment" is just an extra layer of joy:


Our premise? Walker's wife has just died from complications during childbirth, and said complications have left the baby alive but hooked up to a ventilator because she hasn't managed to breath on her own yet...

...and THEN!!! the hospital gets hit by Hurricane Katrina, flooding/half-wrecking the building and knocking out the electricity. There's a portable generator that'll keep the ventilator going...

...but THEN!!! it turns out the generator is broken, and will only hold a charge for three minutes at a time; leaving Walker stranded for however long it takes for help to arrive and battling weather, nature (please please please let there be crocodiles!!!), his own lack of sleep and armed-assault by Terrifying Looters... while stopping once every three minutes to wind-up his battery-powered infant!

It's "Crank 3: But With A Baby This Time!" Bring it on.