Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Crazy Stupid Blog

Have you ever suspected that everything you've been told by the LAMEstream media was a lie? That forces far, far beyond your conception were pulling the strings of the world to nefarious ends? Have you ever suspected that Morgan actually is Nelson Mandela? That conservative talker Laura Ingraham, Tea Party Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann and Caroline Kennedy are all the same person? That the notorious Haditha Massacre was actually a "false flag" operation conducted in part by Vin Diesel and "Jackass" star Steve-O? Well, an insane man somewhere in Texas wants to tell you that you're right...


Part of the beautiful madness of The Internet is that the things otherwise-harmless folks none the less afflicted with with severe mental illnesses might have in previous years kept locked in their own heads or scrawled on the basement walls now get made into searchable websites. Digging around for gems in that vein is a perverse hobby of mine, and today I found the rare one worth sharing... and yes, I looked into it - apparently this is NOT a joke.

Wellaware1.com  is the website of an apparently-prolific conspiracy theorist alternately known as Ed Chiarini or "DallasGoldBug;" who appears to be A.) a conspiracist of the "New World Order" stripe (I'm not seeing any David Icke/"Reptiloid" stuff here) and B.) afflicted with some sort of disorder (OCD?) that leads him to fixate on human facial anatomy. His topic of choice: "They" (whoever "they" are) control the world so extensively that most powerful politicians and/or public figures, plus the known-players in various tragedies like 9-11 or Newtown (which he believes to be staged-events used to manipulate public opinions) are actually actors; a common enough spew from the "WAKE UP MAN!!!" set... but this fellow adds an extra wrinkle: They aren't just actors, they're really - really - famous actors! I assume his justification is a "hiding in plain sight" kind of thing. (He traces a surprising amount of this back to the British Royal Family, which makes it even more surprising he does go "full Reptoid.")

The site itself (which is the quintessential paranoid-delusional mix of exhaustively-compiled yet utterly disorganized) is quite the rabbit hole, though most of it is just links to JPG posters of him "proving" that various politicians look sort-of like various other famous people. I've stuck one off to the side here, but some  noteworthy highlights include:

Former New York Gov. David Patterson and Moammar Ghaddafi? SAME PERSON!

Jay Rockerfeller is actually CHEVY CHASE!

Jovan Belcher? WILL SMITH.

ONE mysterious woman is Michelle Bachmann, Laura Ingraham AND Caroline Kennedy.

Robert Blake was also POPE BENEDICT.

No direct link for this one, but he makes an especially tasteless leap alleging that Holly Robinson Bush - George W. Bush's sister who died in infancy from leukemia - is in fact alive and walking among us as... HILLARY CLINTON.

Also un-linkable: Ron Paul is SIR IAN MCKELLAN.

Not only was Gabby Giffords NOT actually shot in the head, she's really just TINA FEY... who is in turn really just Jennifer Greenberg Sexton - a member of a wealthy family he is deeply obsessed with.

Jim Jones is hiding in plain sight as the grandfather from "PAWN STARS."

Sen. Joseph Lieberman is the dad from "ALF."

And, of course, Steve-O and Vin Diesel participated in faking The Haditha Massacre.

All kidding aside, this is all actually kind of sad - this guy is clearly unwell (though my sympathies are blunted considerably by the fact that he's actively slandering dozens upon dozens of people here - many of whom are deceased and cannot defend themselves) and is in serious need of psychiatric help. But the site, as an artifact, is kind of an amazing relic - especially if you read a lot of more "mainstream" political-conpiracy stuff and can thus see how amusingly close some of this comes to the standard-issue Bilderberg/Rothchild/Rockerfeller drivel clogging up certain Tea Party (and Anon/Occupy) fringe blogs before he gets to his "big revelation."