Sunday, August 18, 2013

"The Last Eagle Scout" - A Tea-Party Propaganda Action/Comedy From The Creator of "Will It Blend?" Really.

Remember "Will It Blend?" A viral-marketing campaign for high-end blenders that was kinda funny on YouTube a few years ago? No? Well, it was funny. Did you ever wonder what Kels Goodman, the independent filmmaker who put the campaign together, was up to now? No, again? Well, too bad - I'm gonna show you anyway.

As it turns out, Utah's own (because of course) Kels Goodman thinks of himself as a right-wing agent provocateur. His statement to the world? "The Last Eagle Scout," a paranoid "Dramedy" action-fantasy seemingly comprised (if it's trailer is any indication) entirely of Michelle Bachman talking-points (and which it's website repeatedly calls a "dramedy." The premise? The Liberals (embodied by, I shit you not, Congressman Jude Marx) have established a "political correctness" dictatorship in America - depriving the citizenry of Baby Jesus Sanctified RIGHTS!!! to shitty snack foods, enforcing a secularized version of the Pledge of Allegiance, a "citizen's task force" (PRIVATE OBAMA THUG ARMY OH NOES!!!) etc. But when they cross the line by using a terrible accident ("false flag operation," calling it right now) as pretext to defund and dismantle The Boy Scouts, one lone heroic smug blonde douchebag with a slingshot opts to go all "Red Dawn" on their asses.

Trailer and other sundries below the jump, kiddies - I swear, as near as anyone can tell, this is not an elaborate joke, it's the real thing:

...Yeah. It's not quite the divine vintage of 9/11-broke-my-brain idiocy as, say, "Liberality For All," but it's not for lack of trying. Amid all the more obvious stupidity ("LOL because gun-free-zones in schools is EXACTLY the same thing as banning nail-clippers!") I think my favorite thing is the uber-earnest Aryan goodber playing the hero "Cliff" trying so hard to pull off the Dirty Harry/Snake Plissken/John McClane grim, disaffected hero thing. That's it, kiddo - cock that head at an angle, glare n' stammer, act like there's a weird sound only you can hear going off behind you during dialogue scenes. Reach for the stars.

Oh, and in case you thought maybe this was just some harmless goofery by jerks with cameras, check out this rancid scene from the movie itself; which introduces "Boys Of The Nation," the Evil Liberal Government's replacement for The Boy Scouts that drops outdoor activities and moral instruction for "tolerance," male/male hugging, fashion, shopping, baking and a badge called "The Flaming Torch." GET IT!!??

What, you thought you were gettin' out of this without a nice big helping of feminization/gay-bashing? You should know better than that by now.

This... thing apparently hit DVD last week or so. Has anyone had the (dis)pleasure?