MOVIEBOB

Is "The FP" The Next Great Movie About Video-Games?

2012-01-31T01:01:00.000-05:00

From Devin at BAD I learn that said BAD's partner/overlord, Drafthouse Films, has picked up distribution rights to the SXSW-buzzed oddity "The FP;" which I'd previously heard spoken of as "the next 'Six String Samurai.'" The basic pitch is a send-up the "such-and-such-familiar-game-BUT-AS-A-GLADATORIAL-BLOODSPORT!!!" genre and the late-80s/early-90s punk-rock-post-nuke aesthetic that often accompanied it, the comic hook being that the rival clans of The FP settle their issues in winner-take-all deathmatches of... "Dance Dance Revolution" (Here called "Beat Beat Revolution.")

Yup. Drafthouse has announced a limited theatrical-release on March 16th of this year. This is real. Here's a (NSFW) trailer.

Somehow Innevitable

2012-01-30T20:24:00.000-05:00

You will be unsurprised to learn that the emerging "modernized fairytale" trend has inspired someone to reboot the Linda Hamilton/Ron Perleman "Beauty & The Beast" series as what sounds an awful lot like "Castle-but-with-a-sorta-wolfman"; but Moviehole's report on the pilot script adds an "are you kidding me!?" detail: the "new" Beast is a guy who got transformed into (more or less) a half-animal version of Captain America... by 9-11.

Yeah, I know. Ten years, Bin Laden is dead, but still... yikes.

Not The Movie We Want; But The Movie We Need

2012-01-29T00:34:00.000-05:00

Hat-tip BAD

Comedian Bobcat Goldthwait has only directed a handful of films, but they're all pretty damn great - pitch-black yet somehow not "gratuitous" stuff that cuts straight to the bone in ways few other comedies would dare. Example: "Sleeping Dogs Lie" starts out as a movie (partially) about bestiality and winds up as possibly the most honest romantic-comedy ever concieved (it's moral: Want a healthy relationship? LIE.)

The word on his newest feature, "God Bless America," has been that it's dark stuff "even for Bobcat;" a bastard lovechild of "Super" and "Idiocracy" by way of "Falling Down" for the Fox News era. The premise? A suicidal everyman has an epiphany: Why kill himself when it's everyone else - particularly reality TV stars, cell-phone addicts, religious nuts and "American Idol" - who're the problem? What follows is either a trailer for the most incendiary movie anyone has attempted in years... or a direct-feed from the inside of MY mind at any given moment:

Holy. Shit.

Yeah. CANNOT WAIT for this one.

Escape to The Movies: "The Grey"

2012-01-27T14:16:00.000-05:00

Go see it. Now.

"Intermission" finishes the convention-rundown.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Grey

Ferris Returns?

2012-01-27T03:38:00.000-05:00

Yes, what is apparently just a Super Bowl commercial is considered important enough to warrant a teaser trailer. Unless, of course, they really ARE making a sequel (probably not.)

I have what you'd call a "complicated" relationship with "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." On the one hand, it's hard to ignore that it's a movie that essentially treats a narcissistic semi-sociopath - who "get's over" on anyone trying to keep him from doing whatever he wants even though he's a priviliged upper-middle-class white suburban kid who could easily do all the things he's conning his way into WITHOUT the conning part - as a kind of aspirational role-model. On the other hand... maybe it's because I TOO was a mostly-comfortable middle-class suburban smartass when I saw it and really did identify with him. Either way, it's still a fun movie.

Also, something just occured to me: If you took the original film and did some digital-trickery to all of Ferris' fourth-wall-breaking moments so that it looked like he was talking into his webcam/smartphone... it would essentially play out like an ULTRA up-to-date movie about teenagers in the youtube/facebook oversharing age. That's how cool Ferris was - he was VLOGGING HIS LIFE two whole decades before "Vlogging" was invented.

Post-Movie Podcast (Again)

2012-01-26T17:24:00.001-05:00

This is going up a little late, but worth a listen none the less. I sat in for John Black on The Post-Movie Podcast with Steve Head, the subject being year-end top-ten lists. This is part 1 of 2. ENJOY!

Click HERE to download (free!) from iTunes.

Steven Spielberg to Part Red Sea For Warner Bros?

2012-01-26T02:38:00.000-05:00

For the past two decades, Steven Spielberg has - quite openly - been structuring a lot of his directing schedule around the "one for me, one for them" model: frequently Interspeding his high-end "prestige" projects with projects more likely to be tentpole blockbusters (though it's not always a one-to-one ration.)

The next "for them" project (next year's Abe Lincoln biopic being the "for me") is supposed to be "Robopocalypse" - a machine-uprising-against-humanity movie based on Daniel H. Wilson's book - slated for the July 4th weekend of 2013. Now, Deadline reports that he may already be circling another major prestige-entry after that for Warner Bros: "Gods and Kings;" A big-budget biopic of Moses. Yes, that Moses. Basket in the reeds, Egypt, burning bush, ten plauges, "let my people go!," parting-seas, Ten Commandments, golden calf, the whole nine yards.

The buzzword on this one is "Braveheart-like," which means it's aiming to be a big, straight-faced, action-oriented version of the story; though there's no indication if it'll be a "realistic/historical version" or feature the explicitly-supernatural driving forces as in the original scripture. Either way, I really, REALLY hope he does this...

Obviously, the most famous version of this story in movie terms in the DeMille movie from 1956. It's fashionable to snark at this movie, and not without reason - it's garish, overblown and corny as hell - but those are precisely the reasons why it's one of my favorite "classic" movies: DeMille, for all his myriad issues, was the perfect guy to make what was essentially trying to be a "living" version of the way Exodus was depicted in Rennaissance religious-art. It's the swords-n-sandals "high fantasy" (and I mean no disrespect in either direction by "fantasy") version of The Old Testament; rippling muscles, heaving bosoms, stern declarations of honor and rage, wailing high-pitched emotional breakdowns, thundering orchestral score and God's Wrath visualized through what were then cutting-edge FX.

DeMille's movie - especially the showpiece FX scenes - are SO iconic it would probably be a fool's errand for any present-day filmmaker to try and top them (I would bet on this being a mostly-historical with "subtle" mystical elements for the most part) but if anyone can pull it off it's Spielberg. The real question is: Who plays Moses - or, rather, who wants to stand up to the innevitable comparisons to Charlton Heston giving one of the most culturally-entrenched performances of his (or anyone else's) career?

Oh, and please allow me to weigh in on the obvious Movie Geek question: YES, I absolutely think that when they build the Ark of The Covenant it should totally end up looking just like the version from "Raiders" (bonus points for "Map Room"/"Miracle of The Ark" getting repurposed as "God's Theme") thus making this an Indian Jones prequel. That would be awesome.

2012 Oscar Nominations Play it Safe, Boring.

2012-01-24T13:59:00.000-05:00

Eh. You were expecting something else?

If it wasn't partially my JOB to cover this sort of thing, I'd prefer to declare that the entire shindig this year is rendered irrelevant by the failure to nominate Albert Brooks in "Drive" for Best Supporting Actor. The most "interesting" thing about this year is that there are NINE Best Picture nominees - they changed the rules again so that the list could be "between 5 and 10" based on total number of votes per individual film, meaning that there's some poor unfortunate movie out there that would have been the tenth nominee under last year's rules.

"The Help" simply does not belong on a Best Picture list in any year, but certainly not in a year that also included the shut-out "Drive." "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" is kind of a mess, but it was a given that the first big-star "let's all have a cry about 9/11 memories" movie was going to be nominated. "The Artist" is probably going to win, and will quickly join "A Beautiful Mind," "English Patient" and "Dances With Wolves" on the future "REALLY!?" lists - though I suppose they deserve big propers for acknowledging "Tree of Life."

Full list (and comments) after the jump:

Best Picture
War Horse
The Artist
Moneyball
The Descendants
Tree of Life
Midnight in Paris
The Help
Hugo
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

BOB COMMENT: Obviously, I'd prefer to see "Tree of Life" win, but y'know what would be an even better spoiler in some ways? "Midnight in Paris" - 'Classic Woody' making a big comeback is a big deal.

Best Actress
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help
Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn

Best Actor
Demián Bichir, A Better Life
George Clooney, The Descendants
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt, Moneyball

BOB COMMENT: This should be Oldman's to lose, but the role is likely too restrained for Oscar. Dujardin probably takes this, will be the most popular "funny foriegn guy" in American movies for about six months and then promptly be banished back home a'la Roberto Benigni.

Best Supporting Actress
Bérénice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer, The Help

BOB COMMENT: Respect where it's due, Melissa McCarthy is a delightful surprise here. "The Help" is obviously the more 'popular' movie, but I really doubt Chastain would've been noticed in this if she didn't have "Tree of Life" the same year.

Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh, My Week with Marilyn
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Nick Nolte, Warrior
Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Max von Sydow Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

BOB COMMENT: No Albert Brooks, no sale.

Best Director
Michele Hazanavicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Martin Scorsese, Hugo
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life

BOB COMMENT: Y'know what? I like Hazanavicius. The "OSS" movies are hilarious, and he seems like a cool cat. But the "one of these things is NOT like the others" on this roster is staggering, and the idea that he'd be a frontrunner for something as inconsequential as "The Artist" on a list where the great Alexander Payne is the LEAST accomplished filmmaker otherwise is completely ridiculous.

Best Original Screenplay
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Annie Mumolo Kristin Wiig, Bridesmaids
J.C. Chandor, Margin Call
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Asghar Farhadi, A Separation

BOB COMMENT: Will probably be Woody, and he deserves it, but it'd be great to see Wiig win.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash, The Descendants
John Logan, Hugo
George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon, Ides of March
Steven Zallian, Aaron Sorkin, Stan Chervin, Moneyball
Bridget O'Connor, Peter Straughan, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Best Foreign Film
Bullhead
Footnote
In Darkness
Monseiur Lazar
A Separation

BOB COMMENT: I'm assuming "The Artist" isn't on this list because it's technically "Foriegn LANGUAGE Film" and the only spoken dialogue in the film is in English.

Best Animated Feature
A Cat in Paris
Chico & Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots
Rango

BOB COMMENT: My overseas readers are probably wondering how "Tintin" didn't make this list. Likely answer? A lot of "Tintin" was accomplished via motion-capture, and there's a vocal and powerful contingent of the American animation industry that sees mocap either as a threat to their livelihoods or a "low" form of the medium; and they've circled the wagons.

Best Animated Short
Dimanche/Sunday
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
La Luna
A Morning Stroll
Wild Life

Best Live Action Short
Pentecost
Raju
The Shore
Time Freak
Tuba Atlantic

Best Art Direction
The Artist
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
War Horse

Best Cinematography
The Artist
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
The Tree of Life
War Horse

Best Costumes
Anonymous
The Artist
Hugo
Jane Eyre
W.E.

BOB COMMENT: The lack of ANY 'genre' films outside of "Harry Potter" in the tech/art categories is baffling, until you remember that the prospects would include Captain America, Thor, XMen, etc. Bias against scifi/fantasy? Lessening. Bias against supehero-subgenre? Alive and kicking.

Best Documentary Feature
Hell and Back Again
If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Libration Front
Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
Pina
Undefeated

Best Documentary Short
The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement
God is the Bigger Elvis
Incident in New Baghdad
Saving Face
The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom

Best Film Editing
The Artist
The Descendants
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Moneyball

Best Makeup
Albert Nobbs
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
The Iron Lady

BOB COMMENT: Really? Red Skull get's nothing?

Best Original Score
The Adventures of TinTin
The Artist
Hugo
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
War Horse

BOB COMMENT: WHAT!? Okay, not to channel poor Kim Novak here or anything... but "The Artist" get's Best ORIGINAL Score?? Forget that the original part of it's score is deeply generic even as "tribute" scores go, big chunks of it are sampled from other scores. Two years ago, "The Will Be Blood" got shafted on a score nod because the composer sampled ONE riff from his OWN catalogue - how does this get a pass? Even the fucking Weinstein's shouldn't be this powerful...

Best Original Song
"Man or Muppet", The Muppets
"Real in Rio", Rio

Best Sound Editing
Drive
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
War Horse

Best Visual Effects
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hugo
Real Steel
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Transformers: Dark of the Moon

BOB COMMENT: Oh, look, some non-Potter genre movies finally make the cut in the usual place. This should go to "Apes," as consolation prize for the rank cowardice in not giving Andy Serkis an acting nod.

Big Picture: "Monster's Movie"

2012-01-24T12:37:00.000-05:00

Kim Jong-Il - the late dictator of North Korea - once kidnapped a famous South Korean filmmaker, held him and his wife prisoner for nearly a decade and forced him to make a Communist knock-off of "Godzilla." Really. Here's a show about it.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Monster's Movie

How America's Hatred of Intelligence is KILLING It, Explained in Under 4 Minutes

2012-01-23T16:16:00.000-05:00

Hat-tip io9

I often strain for sober-sounding methods to explain my disgust with the villifying of "intellectuals" or "elites" in American culture; or why I get as furious as I do with Climate Change deniers, Creationists, Intelligent Design proponents and all other manner of superstitious wastes of skin (see, there I go again...) rather than just ignoring them.

Fortunately, Neil deGrasse Tyson (who's supposedly going to step into Carl Sagan's shoes for Seth McFarlane's "Cosmos" revival - yes, really) helpfully explains it by means of a simple infographic that shows the United State's standing as a scientific-innovator dwindle to near-nothingness within a mere decade:

This is why I DON'T get mad when people in Asia, Europe, Japan etc. gloat about how stupid my country is now percieved to be, because it's increasingly TRUE and it has very simple, tangible sources: America, as a whole, does far too much "believing" (religiously and otherwise) and not nearly enough THINKING. We prize moral-righteousness over intellectual prowess, we hold "common sense" superior to educated analysis, we slash funding for research to meet short-term budgetary goals and expect "the market" to pick up the slack (it won't, "the market" LIKES a stupid population) and we treat people walking around in the 21st century denying cold hard proven facts like evolution, climate-change etc as having "beliefs" or "a different opinion" instead of obvious mental failings not worthy of ether discussion OR respect in a modern world.

We're having an election soon. Not ONE Republican can hope to be nominated if he doesn't swear to his constituents that he believes the proven fact of evolution to be false, and no one of EITHER party can hope to win period without reassuring a significant number of people that they believe - sincerely and without a hint of doubt or questioning - that there is an invisible man living in the sky calling the shots via a ten-item "don't" list. These are the signs of a society that is not only failing, but that deserves to be failing.

So while the fundamentalists, hardcore believers, absolutist pro-lifers, "traditionalists," creationists, homophobes, climate-deniers and all the rest MAY in fact include some otherwise perfectly nice individuals among their ranks, collectively the ignorance they espouse and the anti-progress, anti-reason political leaders, candidates and movements they support are murdering my future; and I feel wholly disinclined to continue being "tolerant" of them. Differences should be tolerated, but ignorance should be corrected - and if it cannot/will-not BE corrected it deserves only to be shunned.

REVIEW: "Underworld: Awakening"

2012-01-23T04:00:00.000-05:00

I actually really like the "Underworld" movies, overall. The whole series has a mountain of problems following it from sequel to sequel, but the whole production is so unblinkingly, unironically wrapped-up in itself that it almost feels like conventional aesthetic criticism doesn't "matter" - like the golden age Bond movies or the "Rocky" series, it more-or-less demands to be met on it's own terms.

Helpfully, other than the first film sucking for almost a FULL HOUR before it suddenly gets interesting and engaging, the terms are pretty reasonable - for a franchise comprised chiefly of complicated-for-complication's-sake revisionist vampire fan-fiction and director/producer Len Wiseman's (largely successful) attempt to enshrine wife Kate Beckinsale as an iconic genre-film sex-goddess; the whole affair has been pretty damn watchable.

For those not up to speed on the "Underworld" lore: Vampires and Werewolves are real - except Werewolves are called "Lycans" - and the two teams don't get along (Lycans = blue-collar, Vamps = aristocrats) on account of the Lycans having once been Vampire slaves until some star-crossed-lovers stuff went down between a wolf-guy and a vamp-princess back in medieval times; and they've been fighting the equivalent of an unseen-by-humanity mob war (hence the title) for centuries. Oh, and they share a common ancestor in some guy who made himself immortal trying to cure a plague and passed the gene on to his twin sons who were bitten by a wolf and bat, respectively.

Beckinsale is Selene, a vampiress with a blackbelt in wolf-exterminating who winds up on the outskirts of the fight after she falls for Scott Speedman as a guy who's been mutated into a vampire/lycan Hybrid and learns that the monster-war backstory is actually MORE complicated than she thought - bad guys who aren't so bad, good guys who're secretly evil, the usual. To it's credit, the franchise keeps track of this information in what was initially a novel way: When "Underworld" vampires drink blood, they also absorb the bleeder's memories.

"Underworld 3" was actually a prequel, with Michael Sheen (really!) and Rhona Mitra as the lycan/vamp Romeo & Juliet analogues. "Awakening" brings back Selene and takes the story to the next logical step: At some point between Part 2 and now, human beings finally found out about vampires and werewolves being real and tried to wipe them out. After a prologue explaining this, Selene wakes up sans-Michael in science lab where we learn she's been locked up for eleven years. The movie makes a big deal out of this "lost decade" business, but it doesn't really have much resonance - part of the "conceit" of the previous films was a near-total lack of reference to where or when ANY of this was actually taking place beyond "medieval times" and "modern big-city."

So, despite the whole "it's the future now" setup, everything is pretty familiar: Selene running about in her black pleather skin-suit and duster beating up enemies, some of whom can morph into big bipedal wolf-monsters. I will say that I like that the series maintains it's creatures-eye-view conception of it's world despite the new wrinkle of actively-involved humanity - it's a trip that our ostensible heroine casually murders human canon-fodder en-route to her various goals since, hey, to her these are basically just free-range cattle, after all.

Granted, it's at last become impossible to ignore that the series really isn't "about" anything other than it's own worldbuilding (it really does have NOTHING to "say" after four films than "here's the next addition to the 'Underworld' mythos!") so at this point it's all about the novelties - this time around, the "new stuff" includes a giant-size mega-Lycan, Stephen Rea(!) as a scientist and a pair of fairly surprising plot twists.

I don't really know that I "needed" a fourth one of these, and I'm not exactly demanding a fifth one... but I can't say it's not worth a shot.

The Good Guys Win

2012-01-20T17:08:00.000-05:00

The ESA has dropped it's support of SOPA. Holy shit.

Okay, kind of beside the point since the bill (and it's cousin PIPA) are both effectively dead, but still a pretty big deal and a HUGE moment for the video-gaming community. If nothing else, it shows that the same fervor that's often mounted in support of silly causes like Diablo III's color-scheme or "nerfing" of this or that feature CAN in fact be mobilized to effect real concrete change in the industry; and that in itself is an incredibly positive development.

In terms of business/politics/history, this whole series of events also represents a pretty massive shift in the entertainment-industry power structure - essentially, the tech/digital side of the amusement biz (video games, Google, Wiki, YouTube etc) were on the winning side of a legislative defeat while the film/TV side came out the (corporate) losers. The Internet is now "officially" more powerful than Hollywood - that's a big change, and the aftershocks will be felt for a long time.

For those who're wondering about the status of the Stand Together boycott... as of right now, I don't know. Speaking only for myself, I think that it's incumbent upon to me to acknowledge that they "listened to us" and rescind the "no E3 coverage whatsoever" blackout for my own blogs; but I don't think I'll be throwing them a party either - they never should've supported the bill in the first place. I'll clarify that further once everyone invovled in the initial boycott gets on the same page.

As to "what's next?" Tomorrow night (Saturday) at 10pm CST, I'll have a NEW episode of The Game OverThinker up for ALL audiences that - rather presciently, if I do say so myslef - has a few things to say about where anti-piracy legislation and the relationship between the entertainment industry and it's audiences in an increasingly-digitized age needs to go. I hope you'll tune in - it also features the announcement of some "tweaking" to the format of the series that I think many will find very pleasing.

Escape to the Movies: "Red Tails"

2012-01-20T13:42:00.000-05:00

Turned out pretty good. Whaddaya know?

"Intermission" chronicles my recent convention-going.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Red Tails

Resident Evil: Retribution Trailer

2012-01-19T14:14:00.000-05:00

At this point, I think it's fair to say that the "Resident Evil" movies are more stable as a B-movie institution than the original franchise is as a video-game institution. The new trailer for the fifth(!) go-around doesn't show off any story points (or zombies, for that matter), other than a handful of shots that seem to be set during/around the earlier sequels - is this the "fill-the-plot-holes"/continuity-porn installment? It also looks like Umbrella now has a fleet of airships... where do they keep GETTING this stuff after the end of the world?

Eh, whatever. Each film after the original has been a romp on some level, and the amount of fun the husband/wife team of Paul W.S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich seem to be having with this ongoing family project is always in evidence. In fact... am I the only one who thinks it's probably time for Alice to turn up in one of the games? At this point, she's as much an iconic part of the brand as Wesker is...

Media Sandwich, Once More

2012-01-18T20:24:00.002-05:00

Here's the second part of the Media Sandwich podcast, featuring me. But really, you should be keeping an ear on this one even when I'm NOT the guest.

STAND TOGETHER - The Gaming Community vs SOPA and PIPA

2012-01-18T00:01:00.000-05:00

Short version: In solidarity with ScrewAttack.com and other websites, I will not be attending or directly-posting any news coverage of this year's E3 unless the ESA (which runs E3) rescinds it's support for the SOPA bill. Longer version:

Please link, repost, tweet etc. this video/blog as widely as possible; and I stand with the others in asking that you encourage other gaming/web outlets to join the "boycott" of E3.

HOWEVER! please remember that regardless or what this or that person may feel about SOPA; not everyone is in a position to refuse to attend or cover E3 and should NOT be ill-treated if they opt not to join this particular movement of SOPA opposition - the last thing we need at this time is to splinter and fractionalize, so I don't want to see anyone pulling any "this or that site is still going to E3! Traitors!!!" bullshit, okay? Okay.

Big Picture: "Junk Drawer - Game On"

2012-01-17T13:07:00.002-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Junk Drawer: Game On

Mitt The Ripper

2012-01-15T15:24:00.000-05:00

Ever since the infamous Supreme Court "Citizens United" decision, Stephen Colbert has been engaged in a piece of long-running, high-concept political theater - creating his own flagrantly-corrupt "SuperPAC" to raise money for his own not-at-all-directly-coordinated political career - to point out the absurd possibilities of the new campaign laws.

As of last week, the performance has entered a new act: Colbert will run for president in the South Carolina Republican primary, while an "unaffiliated" party - Jon Stewart - will take over Colbert SuperPAC, making it "legal" for the SuperPAC's funds to be spent on Colbert's campaign... a legal manuver that required only ONE document to be signed. The point, of course, is to point out how simple it would be for a REAL campaign to pull the same basic shennanigans.

In any case, "Colbert SuperPAC" has released it's first ad, targeted at Colbert's "opponent" Mitt Romney, that joins in the chorus continuing to slap Romeny around for the "corporations are people" line: If Mitt thinks corporations are people, argues the ad, his time as a Venture Capitalist (read: corporate raider) makes him a serial killer:

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Obama Comes Out Against SOPA

2012-01-15T00:41:00.001-05:00

Another exceptionally busy - but extremely rewarding - day down at Arisia. MANY thanks to fans who turned up to say "hi" at the Gender in Gaming, PC Gaming panels. More details, naturally, when I get settled back home on Monday night (or Tuesday morning.)

Anyway! Proving once again that the BEST kind of politician is a politician facing a "base versus base" re-election fight, the Obama Administration has come out against the SOPA bill... and was subsequently dissed for doing so by Rupert Murdoch. Like I said, Election 2012 is reliable-base versus reliable-base (neither party has a record worth running on, so the strategy on both sides will be to fight so dirty that the only people who'll show up to vote will be the pre-decided base) so big, sweeping "stuff that's popular with my likely supporters" moves are the name of the game. Score one for the good guys.

Since I know someone is already prepping the "b-b-b-but the NDAA!!!!" response, here's my take on that: It sucks, it's scary, I hate it... but I also recognize that ANY electable U.S. politician would've signed it at this point in time regardless of party. Speaking only for myself, MY calculation goes like this: Right now, the NDAA would be unlikely to survive a challenge at the Supreme Court, and will get even LESS likely to survive with each new "liberal" justice that could potentially be appointed in Obama's second term... BUT, should the Republicans re-take the Presidency, the judges they'd be likely to appoint could easily swing the Court toward UPHOLDING the NDAA.

For me, this is the ultimate "politics for grownups" realization: You don't elect presidents as "leaders," you elect them as MASCOTS - vanguards of a broad party/political-philosophy. NOTHING is more important in modern (and forseeable-future) American law than the makeup of the Supreme Court and Federal Bench, and only Presidents can appoint judges. That's why it doesn't matter what Obama (or Romney, or whoever else) "says" they believe about abortion, gay-marriage, etc - they WILL appoint Judges who'll side either with the broad-liberal or broad-conservative narrative, and THAT will decide the course of countless future laws.

George W. Bush replaced two right-wing Supremes with two more right-wing Supremes. If ANY liberal/democrat/progressive politician had been President instead, we'd have an UNSTOPPABLY-progressive, secular, pro-science, pro-reason, anti-tradition-for-tradition's-sake Supreme Court and would be living in (IMHO) a vastly better America as a result. THAT - above all else - decides who I support and how I vote. Not men. Not character. Not even speeches or promises. Judges, judges, judges.

Jackson's "West Memphis" Doc Has a Trailer

2012-01-14T07:57:00.000-05:00

Day one at Arisia went swimmingly. Now to breakfast and trying NOT to make an ass of myself at the Gender & Gaming panel.

Anyway, here's a trailer for Peter Jackson's "West Memphis Three" doc:

There's a minor controversy surrounding this one, of course, as it's seen in some quarters as taking away from the OTHER recent doc on the same subject by the filmmakers whose earlier two pieces on the subject more-or-less turned the case into an international cause; but Jackson and company are no mere latecoming interlopers: Upon the recent release of the three men, it was revealed that they (Jackson, Fran Walsh and their partners) had been putting up a BIG chunk of the money that went into the new legal push that finally put things right.

MovieBob is NOW at Arisia 2012

2012-01-13T16:28:00.000-05:00

Hey all!

As mentioned before, I am now checked in at ARISIA 2012 and am prepping for my first panel as we speak. Here's a quick rundown of panels/events where I'm schedule to appear (whole schedule available HERE) and any fans/viewers in attendance are welcome to say "hi!"

Friday 5:30 PM - "E.T. at 30."
Friday 7:00 PM - "The Future of Bioethics as Portrayed in Film"
Friday 8:30 PM - "Batman Through the Ages"
Friday 10:00 PM - "More Terrible SF/F Movies We Love"

Saturday 10:00 AM - "Gender and Video Games"
Saturday 1:00 PM - "Monsters in Motion: Harryhausen at Work"
Saturday 4:00 PM - "If You Liked Part 1..."
Saturday 10:00 PM - "The Death of PC Gaming May Be Greatly Exaggerated"

Sunday 1:00 PM - "Wonder Woman"
Sunday 10:00 PM - "Marvel Movies"

Monday 10:00 AM - "Star Wars at 35"
Monday 11:30 AM - "MST3K: The Panel"
Monday 1:00 PM - "The Alien as Metaphor"

Escape to the Movies: "The Iron Lady"

2012-01-13T12:46:00.000-05:00

Review is found HERE.

"Intermission" finishes-up the anticipation game.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Iron Lady

Neanderthals

2012-01-13T00:43:00.001-05:00

The only thing more irritating, in the 21st century, than people overly-fixated on their own historical victimhood are people overly-fixated on their own imagined historical victimhood.

"Men's Rights Activism" (MRA) has probably always existed in one form or another, but it got supercharged by The Internet because - shocker! - there's a lot of undersexed, pathologically-aggrieved men in the anyonymous realm of web forums. The "public face" of MRA is, of course, typically presented in the context of legal arguments about fathers disenfranchised by custody hearings or the ever-dreaded boogeyman of Affirmative Action; but a short amount of web-digging exposes just how sinister the movement's thriving "base" actually is - a toxic stew of half-baked evolutionary-psych jargon, beta-male sexual-frustration and right-wing backlash against "the feminization of the culture"... the white-hot rage of a middle-aged child-support dodger filtered through the sophistication of a cootie-phobic six year-old.

My colleague Jim Sterling highlights a particularly horrifying-yet-hillarious exchange currently going down on an MRA forum involving video-games. Give it a read.

Money quote, sampled from the larger rant of the MRA forum's original poster:

"I think I have the right to ask steam and other gaming companes: WTF with the subliminal brainwashing? What now when I buy or play a game women will be doing all the ass kicking? I seen some similiar patterns on the game advertisements on television and the internet recently and want to know if anyone else is seeing the pattern?

I call bullshit on this subject. Video games are the last place for guys to hang out and now women are taking over. Why not just save us the trouble and instead of eliminating our fantasy world just throw us in work camp to provide for thier bastard children (literally speaking) while they shit all over us...wait they already do that."

That last part with the "work camps" is a pretty good primer on where the "bottom" of the MRA rabbit hole is - it's an article of faith with these folks that "feminism" is actually a conspiracy of power-hungry women to trick/seduce "real man" (read: men who buy into MRA doctrine) into impregnating them and paying child support while they and their "feminized men" (read: men who have sex more often than MRA believers) go about their mission of stealing men's high-paying jobs and "taking over" the culture; with the logical extreme being some kind of matriarchal men-as-cattle dystopia.

For me, an extra dollop of hillarity is to be found in the fact that the ENTIRETY of "Men's Rights Activism" was both predicted and parodied by, of all things, "Married With Children" over a DECADE ago. What, have we already forgotten about "NO MA'AM?"

Another take was offered by my friend and editor Susan Arendt, here.

Moonrise Kingdom

2012-01-12T23:20:00.000-05:00

The trailer for Wes Anderson's latest - in which the twee, quirky residents of a twee, quirky seaside town awkwardly pursue a twee, quirky 12 year-old couple who've run off together in advance of a coming storm - looks kind of like a cross between an NPR dramatization and a live-action/period version of "Peanuts."

Oh, calm down. I kid because I love. I'm interested to see how Anderson's signature style works with the kids-who-seem-like-adults angle rather than the adult-children routine he more-typically operates from.

Steven Spielberg Predicts The Future (In 1982)

2012-01-11T01:47:00.001-05:00

Film geeks who haven't seen "Room 666" should definitely put it on their must-watch list. It's a documentary, shot at the Cannes Film Festival in 1982, wherein filmmaker Wim Wenders asks a laundry-list of prominent filmmakers in attendance (including Jean Luc Goddard, Steven Spielberg, Werner Herzog, Fassbinder, Antonioni, etc) to briefly opine of the future of movies. The responses range from hopeful to depressing to to strange (first thing out of Herzog's mouth: "I think I'll start by taking off my shoes. You can't answer a question like that with your shoes on.") but surprisingly the guy who really seems to "call it" is the (relative) youngster Spielberg.

For context, at the time of this interview "E.T." had been filmmed but not yet widely-released...

I can't decide if it's more spooky or LESS spooky that this prediction is coming to us courtesy the executive producer of "Transformers."

Big Picture: "Most Anticipated Movies of 2012"

2012-01-10T12:10:00.000-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : MovieBob's Most Anticipated Movies of 2012

George Clooney's Next Movie Could Be Monumentally Awesome

2012-01-09T22:48:00.000-05:00

"South Park" witticism aside, I've always thought that the "George Clooney is soooo smug!" thing is a little overstated and probably has less to do with his "attitude" and more to do with his actual accomplishments - he really is that good an actor, he really is also a damn good director, he really does have that good an eye for screenplays and he really is aging more gracefully than you probably will. Damn him.

In any case, he's setting up his next writer/director/star project; and it's one I've been waiting for: an adaptation of Robert M. Edsel's "The Monuments Men."

The so-called "Monuments Men" remain one of the great unsung stories of World War II heroism, and it's easy to see how their story appeals to Clooney's well-established aesthetic, topical and even socio-political sensibilities - it's period drama with a (potential) dash of action/adventure about the importance of preserving art and culture, whose heroes were primarily educators and intellectuals as opposed to "regular joe" men-of-action.

Officially formed in 1943 on the orders of General Eisenhower himself, the Monuments, Fine Arts & Archives Program of the Allied armies were set up on the premise that restoring (and preventing further destruction of) Europe's artistic and cultural heritage during the war was a vital component of the Allied efforts. Select groups of art historians, professors and other experts were dispatched to areas of conflict (often behind enemy lines and ahead of ground-troops) with orders to help hunt down and properly catalogue/return art-treasures stolen by the Nazis AND to ensure that priceless statues and architectural works were not seriously damaged in bombing raids. It's hard to imagine such an effort being mounted today - the outcry from both the culture-hating Tea Party ("wasteful spending!! only ELITES care about art!!!") and likely also a good deal of the Left ("Save people, not paintings!!!") would be defening.

Clooney's film will apparently focus on the hunt for stolen/looted artworks in Nazi strongholds following D-Day, but I'd hope they squeeze in some of the combat-period scenarios: One of the MFAA's most dramatic successes was the re-taking of Florence - where precision-mapmaking by Monuments Men experts allowed Allied planes to bomb the Nazi occupation-forces into submission while avoiding damage to a remarkable number of priceless buildings, statues, frescos, etc. This was actually a subtle plot-point in "Inglorious Basterds" - we learn, during the Nazi propaganda movie about his actions, that Frederick Zoeller (the seemingly-sympathetic German sniper) was able to maintain his position because the American general had been ordered not to destroy the famous tower which he (Zoeller) was using as a sniper's-nest.

Tim Burton and Robert Downey Jr. Team For "Pinocchio" Reboot?

2012-01-09T19:02:00.000-05:00

We may be nearing a truce in the epic battle between Tim Burton and Robert Downey Jr. over which of them can make the least-interesting mid-period career choices; as the two titans of the "Guys We Like Despite MOST Of What They Make" cinema are poised to team for a live-action "reimagining" of "Pinocchio."

The proposed project is currently called "Gepetto," and would be partially a prequel detailing the origin-story (sigh...) of the puppeteer and partially a side-story explaining what kind of adventures Gepetto was having in between starting his search for Pinocchio and winding up in the belly of a whale/sea-monster/whatever.

Downey would play Gepetto. No word yet on which roles will innevitably go to Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter - the easy guesses being Pinocchio (or Jimminy Cricket!) and the Blue Fairy, respectively - though I believe it's based on a "Black List" screenplay called "The Three Misfortunes of Gepetto" which, if so, gave him a love-interest named Julia Moon.

Eve if you take away the "Burton-ized fairytale" thing, this feels tired - another Tim Burton fantasy about estranged father/son relationships? Granted, this'll be the first time he's approached it from the older-party's point of view, but still...

Somebody Said My Name On a Thing

2012-01-09T18:30:00.000-05:00

The ever-amusing Indoor Kids had the great Film Crit Hulk on their most-recent podcast, and he graciously gave me a mention at the start of some "Arkham City" discussion. Have a listen HERE.

Why Don't Republicans Want YOU To See a Movie About Killing Osama Bin Laden?

2012-01-07T20:57:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, it's possible for something to be so shamelessly, tranparently cynical that even I'm impressed.

Blustering bigot congressman Peter King has been leading the charge to use trumped-up accusations of Pentagon-leakage impropriety to taint the impending release of Kathryn Bigelow's tentatively-titled "Kill Bin Laden" movie (summary of charges: the filmmakers may have had access to details about the mission earlier than non-military personel were supposed to) and is now bragging about having prodded the Department of Defense to investigate the matter.

You don't need to be particularly politics-saavy to grasp what's at work here: Of all the things tangible or otherwise that the Republican Party hates, one of the most potent is the fact that the mastermind behind 9/11 got his ticket punched on Obama's watch. No impending 2012 campaign commercial strikes as much terror into their hearts as the ones that will feature Obama's circa-2008 "we will capture and kill" declaration, followed by right-wing pundits and talking heads snarking about it, followed by last year's "we got him!" press conference... and they REALLY don't want movie trailers for what amounts to "We Got Him: The Movie!" running all over the place, either. So they're flailing around madly in search of a way to discredit it.

It's particularly galling to see the wastes of humanity at Breitbart's madhouse creaming themselves over the prospect. I watched that gaggle of goons pontificate for eight years about how there weren't enough present-set heroic-military movies getting made, and now that the ULTIMATE "happy ending" War on Terror movie has the green light they HAVE to come out against it... because it MIGHT make their arch-nemesis look good.

Escape to the Movies: "The Artist"

2012-01-06T23:23:00.000-05:00

I knew I forgot to do something today...

"Intermission" is a new version of "Quit It."

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Artist

The Oscars Have a Trailer

2012-01-06T02:25:00.000-05:00

And now, a not-terribly-funny commercial announcing the return of Billy Crystal as host of this year's Academy Awards to anyone mercifully-detached enough from entertainment news so as to NOT already be aware that he'd been brought in to salvage the show after the originally-planned Bret Ratner/Eddie Murphy production blew up in everybody's faces - which, come to think of it, is exactly the audience Crystal's return will thrill the most, so... good call, I guess:

I know, I know, it's trite to bag on Crystal. I actually like the guy as an actor, and he IS good at the "your gracious host" schtick... at least, as good as anyone is.

Come to think of it... anyone else think maybe Crystal overshot his true calling? I mean, it felt like in the 90s he stopped doing standup and transitioned out of regular host-type gigs in a bid to become a Tom Hanks style comedy/drama leading man and it didn't really "take" outside of the first "City Slickers." I wonder if he wouldn't have been better off (to say nothing of better-suited) to getting into something like the Late Night Talk scene? Like, imagine if Billy Crystal had become the host of The Tonight Show instead of Leno? Or, better yet, if Letterman had gotten the Tonight Show like he ought to have and Crystal got the competing (and more-appropriately New York-based) Late Show instead? He would have KILLED at that!

Have One Last Funny XMas Thingee

2012-01-05T04:22:00.001-05:00

The Nostalgia Critic (whom you should all be watching anyway - hardworking dude doing great material) got hit by some computer issues in the midst of his December shows, but has now finished airing his run of planned XMas episodes anyway with a review of one of my all-time favorite "WTF?" cult-classics: "Santa Claus: The Movie."

Give it a watch before you put the last of your lights and such away ;)

I Am On A Podcast And You Should Listen To It

2012-01-04T17:52:00.000-05:00

I'm on the Media Sandwich podcast with Chris and Kyle today; which you should be listening to anyway but especially now:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/media-sandwich/5182-Media-Sandwich-Episode-3

Here's Where MovieBob Will Be at ARISIA 2012

2012-01-04T15:12:00.000-05:00

Hey all!

As mentioned before, I'm scheduled to be at the Boston Area scifi convention ARISIA 2012 the weekend of January 13 - 16 at the Westin Boston Waterfront. Here's a quick rundown of panels/events (preliminary) where I'm schedule to appear (whole schedule available HERE)

Friday 5:30 PM - "E.T. at 30."
Friday 7:00 PM - "The Future of Bioethics as Portrayed in Film"
Friday 8:30 PM - "Batman Through the Ages"
Friday 10:00 PM - "More Terrible SF/F Movies We Love"

Saturday 10:00 AM - "Gender and Video Games"
Saturday 1:00 PM - "Monsters in Motion: Harryhausen at Work"
Saturday 4:00 PM - "If You Liked Part 1..."
Saturday 10:00 PM - "The Death of PC Gaming May Be Greatly Exaggerated"

Sunday 1:00 PM - "Wonder Woman"
Sunday 10:00 PM - "Marvel Movies"

Monday 10:00 AM - "Star Wars at 35"
Monday 11:30 AM - "MST3K: The Panel"
Monday 1:00 PM - "The Alien as Metaphor"

Vox To Launch Gaming Site

2012-01-04T14:07:00.000-05:00

Big news from the world of games journalism today, as Vox Media (the folks behind The Verge) have announced the launch of a gaming news site. To start with, they've hired up a murderer's-row of established industry talent: Chris Grant (formerly of Joystiq), Justin McElroy (Joystiq), Brian Crecente (Kotaku), Russ Pitts (The Escapist), Chris Plante, Russ Frushtick, Arthur Gies and Griffin McElroy.

Russ Pitts I know personally - he's one of the people who helped pluck your's truly out of YouTube obscurity and was a key figure in shaping Escape to The Movies and The Big Picture. Just wanted to toss he and his new compatriots some extra promotion. Good luck, guys!

Big Picture: "MovieBob's 2011 Top Ten"

2012-01-03T19:06:00.000-05:00

Sorry this didn't get up earlier. Busy week, already...

The Escapist : The Big Picture : MovieBob's 2011 Top Ten

Sacriledge

2012-01-03T01:39:00.000-05:00

I'm no great fan of "Moulin Rouge," but of all the things I despised about that movie the one criticism I never quite "got" was that it had committed some kind of capitol offense by reconfiguring various pop/classic-rock anthems into cheeky Broadway-style ballads.

Well, if you DID feel violated those particular covers, it's safe to say you are not the audience for "Rock of Ages;" Adam "Hairspray" Shankman's movie version of the popular "jukebox musical" that repurposes a laundry-list of 1980s Cock Rock (re: "Hair Metal") into your basic young-lovers-with-dreams Broadway crowd-pleaser with an on-and-off "self aware" streak (our female lead's name is "Sherrie Christian," to give you an idea where this is shooting from.)

The thrust of the story involves the owners/patrons/etc of an infamous LA rock bar trying to stop an evil developer's plan to "clean up" the Sunset Strip by getting a soon-to-break-up super-band to play their farewell show at said bar; as experienced by a busboy and a waitress with dreams of rock/acting stardom of their own.

The big stunt-casting is Tom Cruise as the Axl Rose/Brett Michaels hybrid who fronts the main band; which is kind of inspired - comedy, particularly self-parody, is the only thing that seems to bring real energy out of Cruise anymore, and he's every bit the weirdly-ageless Reagan-era relic as the songs (particularly "Wanted Dead or Alive") he'll be singing.

"Upside Down" Trailer

2012-01-03T01:04:00.000-05:00

Happy New Stuff!

Do you enjoy science-fiction movies that employ an elaborate visual-effect and/or worldbuilding-conceit to make a really, really heavy-handed societal point? Then you'll want to reserve your seat for "Upside Down," a French-produced English-language film with Jim Sturgess and Kirsten Dunst as star-crossed lovers inhabiting a pair of alternate worlds seperated not by dimension but by gravity - his world is essentially the "floor" below her's which is the reverse-gravity "ceiling" above his. Are you wondering if "above world" is ostensibly wealthy-looking while "below world" is working-class? How'd you guess?

Escape to the Movies: "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"

2011-12-30T12:11:00.000-05:00

Liked it, didn't love it.

"Intermission" does the year look-back thing.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

American Classic Arcade Museum Seeks Your Help!

2011-12-29T17:54:00.000-05:00

hat-tip: Kotaku.

The American Classic Arcade Museum is seeking donations to aquire several rare classic arcade machines - including Discs of Tron! - from a private collector. I've made a donation, and I encourage any readers who are able/willing to do the same. Read on past the jump for details.

The American Classic Arcade Museum (ACAM) is located within a famous New Hampshire family entertainment complex called "The Funspot," which many of you may have seen in the film "King of Kong." While "Funspot" itself is a business, the ACAM is a registered nonprofit operation dedicated to not only collecting vintage arcade machines but also preserving them to be played by "Funspot" visitors. A private collector has offered to sell them five classic game machines that would be "new" to their collection - Space Dungeon, Mad Planets, Discs of Tron and Black Widow - and ACAM is asking for donations to raise the $1,840.00 needed to purchase the lot on their main website page via the "chip-in" widget.

Some of the happiest memories I have are of going to The Funspot during yearly family vacations to the NH area. The "museum" concept is relatively new, a response to the place's newfound prominence at the start of the Retro-Gaming boom - for the longest time they were simply a place that chose to keep their HUGE collection of game machines in working order rather than junking them for new ones. As a result, they have one of the BEST collections of vintage games - many of them extremely rare (they have a standup "Chiller" cabinet!) - that you can visit and play.

They have not asked me to post this information on these blogs - I am doing so to give back to both a good cause and a specific organization that has brought me a lot of good times over the years. I encourage any fans, readers etc. with a few bucks to spare to considering kicking some their way. The amount they're trying to raise is not very high, and you'll not only be supporting the good cause of classic game preservation - you'll be helping these games be placed in a REAL arcade where they can be rediscovered and enjoyed by new generations of gamers who might otherwise never have the chance.

Here is the link once again. My sincerest thanks to everyone who chips in, and to Funspot/ACAM for doing what they do. I'm planning to visit the place again this Summer, and it sure would be a kick to take a turn at that Discs of Tron machine when I do.

Told You So

2011-12-28T04:11:00.000-05:00

So... yeah, after doing two episodes about "The Simpsons" still being funny, I realized I hadn't actually watched this year's Xmas episode, so I did. Fox made it available HERE on their website, though I watched it On Demand.

It's another "possible future" episode, this one set in a timeline where Bart and Lisa both grow up to be parents themselves. To my mind, it's easily one of the best episodes I've seen in awhile - good enough to have been a Season 5 or 6 episode (or at least a current installment of Futurama.) Seriously, give it a watch. (SPOILERS after the jump.)

SPOILERS:

This is the first "future" episode where Homer and Marge actually seem to have personality changes beyond "older" - Marge has a shorter temper and seems a touch jaded, while Homer is sober(!!!) and seemingly more intelligent and good-natured as result. I like that.

Running joke about Dearborn, Michigan is edgy as hell by Simpsons standards, to the point where it verged on being out of place. But yeah, I laughed.

So, at least according to this timeline, Lisa Simpson is bisexual as a grownup. I like that the "reveal" passes without comment, but it runs one extra beat so you can tell they wanted you to catch it. I know a few BIG fans of Lisa who I can picture turning cartwheels at this... and also a few desperate continuity-obsessives who'll be furious that this contradicts the character in the "President Lisa" timeline's claim to being "the first straight female president.

This is the first "Simpsons Future" I can say I'd be legitimately interested in seeing them revisit. In particular, I'd LOVE to know the story behind the blink-and-you'll-miss-it detail as to the fate of a certain ex-Krusty Sidekick - I feel like it must have been either Bart or Homer who finally did the deed, but I can't decide which would be more awesome (leaning toward Homer.)

Big Picture: "The Simpsons Is Still Funny - Part II"

2011-12-27T13:32:00.002-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : The Simpsons Is Still Funny, Part 2

Escape to the Movies: "War Horse"

2011-12-23T13:56:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays.

"Intermission" is about the Batman Trailer.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : War Horse

History

2011-12-22T01:07:00.000-05:00

As part of a longstanding tradition, U.S. Navy ships will - upon returning home - select a sailor to descend to the dock ahead of the others and share the first "homecoming" kiss with their significant other (and, one presumes, with new photographers looking to take "their version" of the famous V-Day photo.)

On December 21st of this year, said tradition once again became part of history as - for the first time ever - an "official" first-kiss was shared by a same-sex couple:

PHOTO: Brian Clark, The Virginian-Pilot

The lucky couple in question are Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta and Petty Officer 3rd Class Citlalic Snell. Gaeta (in the hat) was the returnee, having purchased $50 worth of tickets in her ship's (The USS Oak Hill) charity raffle where the honor was the prize.

Photo is credited to one Brian Clark of The Virginian-Pilot. I hope his contract let's him retain some rights to it so he can get a cut of the royalties as this almost-certainly winds up in history books, newsreels and museum displays from now until the forseeable future.

The Greatest Adventure Is What Lies Ahead

2011-12-20T23:25:00.000-05:00

Fuck. Yes.

Ten years ago, the "Lord of The Rings" movies stepped into both a blockbuster-filmmaking realm and a movie-geek culture realm - both of which hurting in the wake of "The Phantom Menace" debacle - and completely rewrote the book. I don't think that's exaggerating - I firmly believe that the "21st Century Model" of film-geekdom begins with this series, which took every concievable creative and financial risk and paid them off with a singular filmmaking achievement that in my mind has yet to be equalled.

...and now we get to go back.

Ye gods... hearing that Howard Shore score kick back up on the soundtrack... seeing The Shire again... it feels like coming home. This is, literally, the LEAST stressed I have felt all December.

This, my friends, is THE movie of 2012 as far as I'm concerned. Batman? Small potatoes. Avengers? Slightly-prettier small potatoes. Spider-Man? Don't even start.

Here's That Batman Trailer

2011-12-20T22:42:00.000-05:00

Somehow or another I forgot to post this in the wake of every other website on Earth posting it. Here we go.

I'll have more in-depth things to say in the near future, but for now Four things stand out: The football thing is cool, but looks like it belongs in a Michael Bay movie. I like the plane. Catwoman: Professor of Socio-Economic Philosophy isn't working for me. Bane... remains a complete, baffling mystery. Why go with such a lousy character, AND give him such a silly (in a bad way) look, and now that ridiculous voice?

Big Picture: "The Simpsons Is Still Funny - Part I"

2011-12-20T14:34:00.002-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : The Simpsons Is Still Funny - Pt. 1

"Wrath of The Titans" Will Probably Sucker You In, Again

2011-12-19T18:06:00.000-05:00

I didn't dislike "Clash of The Titans," but I also don't remember hardly any of it. In any case, even though no one seems to have really "loved" it it managed to make a MASSIVE international profit theatrically; so Warner Bros. made another one.

The trailer is selling "monsters, monsters and more monsters;" and I wish I wasn't such an easy lay for this stuff: Show me a Cyclops (and guy made of lava, and what I think is a gryphon) and I've pretty-much bought a ticket. Oh well...

Kim Jong Il is Dead

2011-12-18T22:58:00.000-05:00

Reports are still coming in, but the title says it all: North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, one of the worst and most brutal dictators on Earth, is dead tonight.

Power will almost-certainly pass, however symbolically, to his son Kim Jong Un - who is reputed to be either legitimately insane, mentally-impaired or both - though it's almost a foregone conclusion that the myriad military/government officials who're alleged to have been the real operators during the elder Kim's dotage (he's been in failing health for years) will be vying to either take power themselves OR get the hell out of dodge with whatever they can carry in the event that the house of cards collapses entirely.

I feel more than a little crass doing to the "blah blah something HUGELY important happened somewhere that's not America... but here's how it will effect America!" hard-segue, but this is really the only thing definite you can say about this right now: Any illusions that Barack Obama or his various would-be Republican challengers may have had that with Iraq "finished" and Afghanistan winding down this would be a strictly meat-and-potatoes "domestic issues" presidential election just evaporated. If you are the "China Policy Advisor" to an American politician, you are very likely about to learn that you are working this Christmas.

Here's the situation: Setting aside the very real long-held concerns that Kim Jong Un (who is essentially a mystery - no one even knows how OLD he actually is outside of the NK government) will not have the official loyalty or ability to hold the system together; this is almost certain to cause a significant amount "rumbling" in the nation itself, which will be most-directly felt at it's borders with China and South Korea (the former of which is seperated by a demilitarized zone patroled by U.S. forces) both of whom will be looking to their American allies to help out (or, in China's case, "back off") with management of what could be a 'failed state' crisis at their respective borders. Here's to hoping things don't get too much worse for North Korea's impoverished citizens, in any case.

Place your bets now as to which GOP Presidential candidate will have the dumbest thing to say about this tomorrow morning.

Green Goblin Makeup Test Appears Online

2011-12-16T14:51:00.000-05:00

Below, test-footage of an unused makeup-concept for Willem Dafoe's "Green Goblin" makeup (before they went with the mechanical helmet design instead) by ADI. Left unsaid is whether this was intended to be a (very) elaborate rubber mask like in the comics or some kind of full-on physical transformation...

Characters like this go through LOTS of designs on their way to the screen, and it's not unusual at all to see full-functioning suits, appliances and props being made to test them out. The reason you very seldom SEE any of them is that the studio/license-holder owns the rights to the character AND the work and usually doesn't want them shown for one reason or another.

So why would you be seeing it now? Probably no reason. Maybe because Sony is testing the waters for what GG should look like when he innevitably turns up in the rebooted series? Who knows.

Escape to the Movies: "The Adventures of Tintin"

2011-12-16T13:52:00.000-05:00

Very, very good.

Wondering where my feelings on the (extremely mediocre) "Mission: Impossible" and (shockingly terrible) "Sherlock Holmes" sequels are? Right here...

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Adventures of Tin TIn

Extended Teaser For "Expendables 2"

2011-12-16T04:13:00.000-05:00

Better? Worse? I dunno...

Big Picture: "If The Oscars Were The VGAs"

2011-12-13T13:02:00.003-05:00

What if Hollywood's big award show sucked as much as gaming's?

The Escapist : The Big Picture : If the Oscars Were the VGAs

Cobra Commander Looks Like Cobra Commander

2011-12-13T00:18:00.000-05:00

I'm "that guy" who really liked Stephen Sommers' first "G.I. Joe" movie. Yeah, it was far from perfect - mostly thanks to having been a "strike script" victim - but from where I sat it more-or-less delivered a faithful-in-tone adaptation of the animated series and comics (read: aggressively silly scifi-military nonsense as-envisioned by 8-year olds playing with action figures) and I maintain that most of the excessively-negative reactions would've been greatly reduced if it had been the same movie but with more source-accurate costuming...

...which more or less seems to be what the out-of-nowhere AWESOME debut trailer for the sequel, "G.I. Joe: Retaliation," is offering:

The new director is John M. Chu, who's mostly made dance and concert movies up to this point. At some point he'd made some noise about this one going "dark and gritty," but this looks like anything but: It's the same basic look and feel as the first one, just with bigger action heroes in the cast (The Rock is "RoadBlock," who is apparently our new lead, while Bruce Willis is supposedly playing a retired soldier named "Joe" from whom the organization derives it's name) and characters like Cobra Commander, Snake Eyes and Jinx (Jinx? For real?) looking more like they're "supposed to." But does that make it look "better?"

...Yeah, kinda. I'll admit it: Seeing Cobra Commander in the blue uniform with the mirrored-faceplate is all kinds of awesome, I'm always a sucker for color-coded ninjas and the 'money shot' of the Cobra Flag flying over the White House is sort of incredible.

I wonder how "seriously" to take the storyline implications in this particular trailer, though - are they really so committed to the "sorry about the last one" angle that they'll kill off everyone from the first one except Snake Eyes, which is what the trailer is implying?

Good "Dark Knight Rises" Poster

2011-12-11T03:38:00.000-05:00

I'm not quite ready to change my "innevitably recieved as a dissapointment, regardles of it's actual merits" projection of "The Dark Knight Rises." But the new poster, which builds on the idea that this is the end of the story as opposed to just the part where they stop, has a lot of promise.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: If they did go all the way and kill Batman, that would be the kind of ballsy move that could concievably "top" the last one.

All Wet

2011-12-10T08:19:00.001-05:00

Here's that new trailer for "Battleship," the naval-centered sequel to "Battle: LA" (remember that?) that nobody asked for:

I'm still fairly curious about this, as I kinda like the idea that Berg basically wanted to make a navy vs. aliens movie and got it done by offering to name it after the board game... but it's hard to stay optimistic when it still looks so much like "Transformers" on the water.

Also: Is that the Freedom Tower they're blowing up?

~~Also: Is Rihanna doing a Carribbean accent?~~ EDIT: Apparently that's her real speaking (as opposed to singing) voice... which I now realize I had never actually heard until now.

"The Amazing Spider-Man" Lies His Ass Off In NEW Poster

2011-12-10T00:06:00.001-05:00

When I first saw this (origin: SuperHeroHype) as a partial-view on my smartphone I kind of loved it - great design, if nothing else. Then I scrolled down to the bottom and burst out laughing in public.

They're really selling a revisitation of what may be (at least!) the 3rd most widely-known superhero "origin story" EVER as "The Untold Story?" The origin of Spider-Man is the definition of a TOLD story! It's not even as though it's a "prequel" to the previously-made movies and is going to reveal some "untold" part of that continuity; it's just a new version of the same exact fucking story! That's as close to a full-blown lie as a poster can tell!

But... whatever. What it does make me wonder (again) is what they might have meant when they put this together. What is "the untold story?"

Of all the things that set off my alarm bells about the godawful first trailer for the film, the most glaring was that the death (dissappearance?) of Peter Parker's actual parents - and satchel full of mysterious-documents they left behind - was revealed as some kind of big driving point for the plot (the big final line of the trailer was "We all have secrets. The ones you keep... and the one's kept from you.")

Of all the convoluted nonsense that Spidey's backstory has accrued over the years, the detail that Richard and Mary Parker were actually Bond-style secret agents is one of the dopiest; but as part of a movie continuity it gives off the bad vibes of some "big thing" that 'coincidentally' connects all the current and future characters together as opposed to "weird super-science stuff happens all the time around here" worldbuilding.

Best guess? They'll be revealed to have been "taken out" because of some nefarious doings related to Oscorp (the company's name is on Gwen Stacy's and Curt Conners' labcoats in the trailer) which will in turn be the "source" of both The Lizard and sundry baddies to come (oh, and they'll tease The Green Goblin at the end a'la The Joker.)

Am I the only one that hates when they do that? Joker being the Wayne's killer in the Tim Burton "Batman," Sandman shooting Uncle Ben in "Spider-Man 3," etc? It always makes the "world" so small and narrow. I know why it's there from a screenwriting 101 standpoint, connecting the threads and whatnot - but it kills out the "scope" factor of having the various villains and/or other "super" people existing independently of the main character until their paths cross. Like... in "Captain America," I LOVE that the Cosmic Cube has zero connection to Cap until The Red Skull has it, and that even then it has nothing to do with why The Skull is what he is; or how S.H.I.E.L.D. is not exclusively devoted to looking for Thor, they're just "there" and they've brought an archery-themed superhero with them "because why not?" It makes everything so much more expansive and adds so much more potential.

Escape to the Movies: "The Sitter"

2011-12-09T14:10:00.000-05:00

Not great.

"Intermission" is about movie theaters.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Sitter

ANNOUNCEMENT: Come See MovieBob At ARISIA '12!

2011-12-08T03:47:00.000-05:00

...And, hey! Did you see the NEW "Game OverThinker?"

Anyway, I can now announce that I'll be out and about at Arisia '12 - a big Boston Area scifi/fantasy/fandom convention running January 13th-16th you can learn more about HERE. At this time I can't officially announce where/when you'll be able to see me appearing in an "official" capacity (i.e. panels, speaking, discussions, etc;) but I'll also be around "the floor" so feel free to say hi if you happen to be onhand as well.

I'm also planning on being at PAXEast again this year as well, though details on that are still aways off. Stay tuned!

"Three Stooges" Looks Worse Than You Thought

2011-12-07T14:02:00.001-05:00

Apple has the trailer for the Farrelly Bros. modern reboot of "The Three Stooges." I'll post an embed when I get one, but for now go and feel my pain.

Ye gods, what did anyone do to deserve this? For all the care taken to get the actors looking "right" and match the old-timey sound effects; how did NO ONE notice (or care) that they have NONE of the actual Stooges' gift for physical comedy? And are we really, honestly doing "sexy nun" jokes in 2011?

Big Picture: "Favorite Ms.Take - Part II"

2011-12-06T14:43:00.000-05:00

And so it ends. Watch the first part HERE.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Favorite Ms. Take - Part 2

"Cabin in The Woods" FINALLY Has a Trailer

2011-12-05T16:36:00.000-05:00

Put together by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard YEARS ago but shelved when MGM collapsed, "Cabin in The Woods" is finally coming out. You should just watch this trailer. Now. Without any other context:

That'll do.

THIS Is Why People Think Republicans Are Stupid.

2011-12-05T14:49:00.000-05:00

It is, let's be honest - just as it's not fair that my "Liberal" friends get stereotyped as weak and/or wimpy; it's a little unfair that my Republican friends get stereotyped as being idiots. Granted, running presidential candidates who reject the scientific facts of things like evolution, climate change, or in general hold science and knowledge as inferior to "belief" doesn't really help their case.

Also not helping their case? Doing a 7 minute segment on Fox Business attacking "The Muppets" for "brainwashing" children with an anti-corporate message. (Summary of charges? The bad guy is an oil magnate named Tex Richman.)

Less-Than-Thrilling "Star Trek" Bad Guy Rumors

2011-12-05T04:33:00.001-05:00

EDIT: Somehow, this initially went up without the page-break I intended. My appologies.

This has been "news" for a few days now, but I wanted to chew it over before posting anything. Plus, weekend and all that...

So... Internet Lore has it that I "hated" JJ Abrams' "Star Trek" reboot; which is basically untrue - I didn't really care much for it, and I think it's kind of telling that the "return of Trek as a super-relevant franchise" thing that it was supposed to kick off has more-or-less failed to materialize - let's be real for a moment: the Geek Culture "organism" has been obsessing over "what's gonna happen in 'The Avengers'" since the end of "Iron Man"... how much chatter or even excitement has there been over "New Trek" since the movie? - but mostly I was underwhelmed.

Anyway! Latino Review claims to have the scoop as to the identity of the (presumed) villain Benicio Del Toro is playing in the sequel. POSSIBLE SPOILER WARNING FROM HERE ON OUT!/

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According to LR's sources - and they are known for having really, REALLY good intel - he'll be Khan Noonien Singh, pretty-much THE most widely-recognized Trek villain (moreso because of "Wrath of Khan" than his origins on the original series.)

This has pretty-much been what most people have been assuming (again, Khan is really the only Trek heavy that EVERYONE has heard of) since the beginning... and while there have already been a slew of denials from the filmmakers that means very little at this point, as Devin at BAD points out "extreme truth-stretching" is standard-issue for movie rumor denials these days.

In any case, IF true it's kinda dissapointing news from where I sit.

Mainly, it smacks of taking the easy route: This was what everyone assumed the 2nd movie would be before they shot the FIRST movie. By the same token, it smacks of Abrams and company's strictly-superficial read of the franchise: Khan is iconic mainly because of "Wrath of Khan" - which they probably aren't going to remake (in no small part because they already 'borrowed' the basic skeleton of Khan's story in that film for Nero in the last movie.) "Space Seed" - the Young Kirk era episode that introduced the character - had previously been prized mostly for it's world-building; one of the few Original Series episodes to offer some tidbits about what had happened in Trek's history between the audience's present and the Federation-era future (short version: Khan is a genetically-engineered superhuman who became a would-be conquerer during the delightfully-named "Eugenics Wars," later discovered hibernating in a spaceship by The Enterprise.)

Basically; if this is true it means that despite re-booting the entire Trek universe and thus having the option of using ANY character (or making up a new one) they'd be going for a retread of the most popular movie in the pre-reboot series. This isn't automatically indicative of anything, of course - maybe THIS will be the screenplay where Team Abrams finally delivers - but it's not a terribly encouraging sign.

Also... not to nitpick here, but if it IS going to be Khan... with all due respect to Del Toro, it would've been nice if they could've found an Indian actor for the role. Khan is supposed to be a Sikh, after all - and it's not like there aren't a metric-ton of good Indian actors who could really benefit from a breakout part like this (not to mention it could mean HUGE boxoffice in the increasingly-important India market.) Casting him with another Spanish actor - a good one, don't get me wrong - once again smells unpleasantly of a surface-only read of the series. Plus, let's be honest, the ONLY way for a new Khan to stand on his own merit is for him to be as far removed from Ricardo Montalban's version as possible.

We'll see.

Today's Pointless, Doomed-to-Suck Reboot is "Starship Troopers"

2011-12-02T14:12:00.000-05:00

The problem with Robert Heinlein's "Starship Troopers" is the problem I worry "John Carter" has - being a 'seminal classic' also means that by the time you get to the movies everyone else has already borrowed all the original stuff. Which is why, to my mind, Paul Verhoeven's "Troopers" movie did the only thing you could really DO with the propert after decades of military scifi had picked it's bones clean: Turn Heinlein's quasi-fascist army-fetishism into a scathing - and kind of brilliant - scorched-earth throttling of every bullshit pro-war propaganda flick ever made. I still maintain that, if not for pre-dating the "War On Terror" by many years, it would be the best movie about the "War On Terror" ever made.

So, of course, it's being rebooted.

It would be crazy for them to try and mimic the tone of the first film (or the sequels,) so expect talk of "going back to the source," which will probably also include actually utilizing the "powered robot-suits" that the first film skipped for budgetary reasons. I'm sure it'll result in a serviceable, visually-attractive film... just not one with much going on under the hood.

I could be wrong, of course..

Today I Like McDonalds

2011-12-02T13:45:00.000-05:00

I understand and sympathize with the attitude behind San Francisco's goofy "Happy Meal Ban." Yeah, my latent libertarian streak says that if your stupid enough to think a $1 hamburger (which is NOT, by the way, the cheapest food you can get in most areas where such poverty is a major problem so please spare me the histrionics) prepared in 30 seconds is proper day-to-day nutrition you deserve what you get. To some people "too dumb to live" is a cute hyperbolic insult - to me, it often sounds like a solid catch-all public policy...

BUT, that said, I completely "get" not wanting children to suffer for the stupidity of their parents. So yeah, I get where they're coming from; but it's still a foolish, pointless move from a city that seems to have lost it's ability to distinguish between worthwhile liberal social-policy and cartoonish parodies of what right-wing dipshits think liberals are about.

Which is why - despite my mixed feelings on the Fast Food industry (on the one hand I'm not "against" corporations 'preying' on idiots, on the other hand... y'know, kids don't get to choose whether or not they're born to idiot parents) I straight-up LOVE McDonalds' ingeniously dickish "fuck you!" to the ban:

See, SF made a law that said you can't include FREE toy prizes in "kids meals" that don't comply with city nutritional standards; which, of course, seem precisely built to exclude pretty-much anything McDonalds might sell. McD's solution? Raise the price of a Happy Meal by a dime, make the toys something you have to ask for, and call the dime the "price" of the toy. Oh, and that dime? They're giving it to charity. Fuck yeah. Take a bow, Ronald.

To show my solidarity, one appreciator of a high-quality loophole-leaping "fuck you" to another, I'll be making it a point to eat some McDonalds today - y'know, after a 2,000 calorie workout, of course. I haven't been in awhile, what should I get?

Escape to the Movies: "Hugo"

2011-12-02T13:11:00.000-05:00

I liked it.

"Intermission" is about movies mimicking movies.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Hugo

"John Carter" Looking Better

2011-12-01T03:27:00.000-05:00

Much as I liked what the first "John Carter" trailer was implying, the buzz since then has been shaky - fans who got a look at a sizzle reel during D23 were largely underwhelmed; and the suspiciously expection-lowering-esque "leaked" reports of budget runovers and the ongoing issue of the title (WHY can't they add in "Of Mars" again?) haven't helped. I want this to work, but I'm not getting that same "holy shit, they NAILED IT!" vibe the first "Lord of The Rings" trailers had.

This new one... is a step in the right direction. I'm still coming to terms with the decidedly un-Martian look of Mars (I'm wondering if they intend "I'm on Mars" to be some kind of surprise-reveal?) and the practical/semirealism look of the the tech and creatures... but that's an expectation thing, I think - adhering to either Burrough's persistent "going native" fetishism OR the gloriously-overblown Frazetta paintings that have defined this franchise visually for so long were never really options for a Disney actioner.

At this point, my bigger worry is that it doesn't look all that much "different" from Star Wars or a dozen other similar offerings, which is problematic considering how 'traditional' the narrative is by now. That said, the use of Led Zepplin (which couldn't have been cheap) goes a long way toward giving the whole thing a very "ostentatious album-cover" feel, so we'll see.

Finally, Someone Made "Moulin Rouge" Entertaining

2011-11-30T04:20:00.000-05:00

If you ever needed a reason as to WHY the Channel Awesome/That Guy With The Glasses collective are pretty-much THE force in the criticism-as-entertainment video genre... I'd say that this is the best example to date: a good chunk of the crew (primarily The Nostalgia Critic, Nostalgia Chick and a guest-appearing Brentalfloss, but Linkara, Spoony etc. get in some amusing cameos) dive into a nearly 45-minute breakdown of "Moulin Rouge" in musical format. Amusingly, the film itself is uniquely well-suited to being intercut with the TGWTG "house-style;" aka "mugging-the-shit-out-of-the-camera."

I'm embedding it below, but I really encourage people to visit the site - a really amazing amount of content from a refreshingly-diverse group of voices.

I know that reactions to TGWTG run hot-or-cold at this point, especially as they've become more ubiquitous. Depending on who you ask, they're either geek-culture revolutionaries or the worst thing that EVER happened to internet criticism; as they're seen as popularizing the move away from youtube-slideshow to character/skit-driven as the dominant style of the genre.

For the most part, I'm the mostly-affirmative camp. Having guys like these (along with the gang at ScrewAttack and the omnipresent juggernaut of James "AVGN" Rolfe) towering over this medium has been a consistent and welcome kick-in-the-ass reminder for me to step up my game and try newer/better/different things with my various projects.

Also, it must be said, I think the sheer diversity of voices and perspectives - that it's NOT "only" a site of the usual GenX Suburbanite White Male Nerds - they've assembled is an enormous good for web/geek culture overall. That they have so many female reviewers, for example, is a big net-positive; and while Lewis Lovhaug's (Linkara's) work-ethic and natural talent are what's made him a star (I really do think he's the best thing to happen to comic book journalism/criticism in a decade or more, not that there's much competition...) it's the uniqueness and sincerity of his cultural-outlook that makes his stuff so frequently refreshing.

"Men In Black 3" Has a Magic Eye Poster

2011-11-30T00:33:00.000-05:00

Hat-tip: BAD

I'm too lazy to check, but I'm sure it's a given that someone else has made this joke by now... none the less, it behooves me to point out that it's kind of wonderfully appropriate that the teaser poster for "Men In Black 3" is built to look like one of those old "Magic Eye" posters: The last time anyone gave two shits about "Men In Black;" Magic Eye was NEW...

There's a second version of the poster featuring Josh Brolin, who's playing the circa-1960s version of Tommy Lee Jones' character from the last one. The plot was supposed to involve time-travel and the origins of the MIB organization; but apparently it's been extensively rewritten (leading to a scandalously-overblown budget, or so goes the gossip) so at this point who knows/cares?

Big Picture: "Favorite Ms.Take"

2011-11-29T13:59:00.000-05:00

You asked for "Ms. Marvel," you got "Ms. Marvel"...

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Favorite Ms. Take - Part 1

Crazily-Plausible "DARK KNIGHT RISE" Theory Advanced by Joke Website

2011-11-28T13:17:00.000-05:00

CRACKED - which morphed from a middling MAD Magazine clone to a shockingly-awesome The Onion clone - has a blogger advancing a new "what will happen to Batman" theory that, unlike most other versions of the same idea, makes a surprising amount of sense. No spoilers (yet) but the main "big" point is what I'd call my favorite guess yet made as to what the point of Joseph Gordon Levitt's role will be.

Read the piece HERE

RIP Ken Russell 1927-2011

2011-11-28T12:42:00.001-05:00

Ken Russell has died. Though he'd slipped somewhat from public consciousness outside of his native England, Russell was the director of a string of popular and/or noteworthy films throughout the 70s, 80s and 90s. Any film buff worth his salt ought to have seen "The Devils," "Women in Love" and "Altered States" by now; though he was probably best known for "The Who's 'Tommy" and a slew of increasingly-offbeat biopics of classical composers.

Below, a scene from "Lair of The White Worm" - for my money still the height of Hugh Grant's onscreen moments:

UK readers: Did any news outlets opt to use that clip for effect back when Grant was the big hero of the hacking scandal? Or do you guys not "do" the ironic-movie-clip-as-part-of-the-news thing?

Escape to the Movies: "The Muppets"

2011-11-26T00:45:00.000-05:00

Apologies for not putting this up sooner. Busy day for me, and I wasn't even shopping.

"Intermission" has more Muppets.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Muppets

Big Picture: "Skin Game"

2011-11-22T14:02:00.000-05:00

This is about the PETA Mario spoof. I advise the weak-of-stomach to proceed with caution.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Skin Game

I'm feeling like this will be the last "super-serious" episode for a little while, because the research I had to do was pretty ghastly stuff and I just don't need the extra stress for the holidays. Lots of people celebrate New Years Eve/Day; but *I* celebrate January 2nd - the day the world gets back to normal.

"Dark Knight Rises" Is Batman (Slightly) Beyond

2011-11-21T23:33:00.000-05:00

EMPIRE had a much-hyped set-visit story about "The Dark Knight Rises" recently, much to the delight of all those who can't get enough non-news about next year's all-but-garaunteed-to-not-live-up-to-your-expectations blockbuster. But what was actually revealed? Well... nothing, really; save that Bane still looks about as crummy in the "official" images as he has in the random on-location snaps.

The only thing close to new information is that the film is apparently set 8 years after the end of "Dark Knight;" which is... interesting, I suppose?

A lot of fans are reading the time-jump as a "clue" that the film will ultimately be some form of adaptation of either "The Dark Knight Returns" (i.e. old Batman un-retiring) or "Knightfall" (i.e. Batman coming back from Bane-induced injuries); mostly because for a lot of fans everything is a clue pointing to an adaptation of those stories. More likely, it's a way for Nolan to do what he's always said he was going to do - put a definitive END on "his" Batman story - without having dissapointed fans point out how brief this particular Batman's career was. It also, maybe, gives Warner Bros. room to say that the innevitable new-actor-reboot is actually happening during the "missing" 8 years.

Also "revealed" in the article is the possibility that Bane is actually "powered" by inhaled-gas painkillers instead of muscle-growth chemicals, which will come as a shocking dissapointment to anyone who actually expected Christopher Nolan to include a Hulk-sized monster-man in his movie.

Desert Bus Has Begun!

2011-11-18T22:08:00.000-05:00

The great folks at LoadingReadyRun have begun their yearly "Child's Play" charity drive, wherein they play Desert Bus - one of the worst games ever made - for your amusement. You can watch the live feed and donate HERE.

I'm scheduled to call in and shoot the breeze with them LIVE at 11am PST (2pm EST) on Monday the 21st, so tune in for that as well.

"Expendables 2" Poster Promises the Movie You THOUGHT You Were Getting the First Time

2011-11-18T21:15:00.000-05:00

Source: JOBLO

Lost in the shuffle of people rushing to invent nefarious conspiracy theories as to why I HATED "The Expendables" was the fact that I'd been looking forward to it at one point. Who wouldn't want to see a dream-team of B-movie action heroes teaming up for one big show? The end result... pretty mediocre, sadly.

This new poster for the sequel, however, promises that they'll try to get it right: Arnold and Willis with (reportedly) bigger non-cameo roles, Van Damme and Chuck Norris added to the roster, etc. Jet Li is apparently in there, too, but didn't rate the poster. I also don't know who the new female recruit is.

It still probably won't end up being very good - Stallone has turned the director duties over the to professionally-mediocre Simon West - but maybe this time they won't bother angling for a PG13 and deliver the ultraviolence properly. Still, good poster.

Right-Wing Douchebags Already Mad at "Happy Feet 2"

2011-11-18T15:36:00.000-05:00

Everything below the fold may or may not be MILD plot-spoilers for "Happy Feet 2."

American "conservatives" who still make a go of engaging with the popular culture already seem to live in a kind of fantasy fever-dream where every single entertainment entity on the planet with the exception of Country Music and Call of Duty (dig the ORGASMIC praise the widely-panned "Black Ops" got from the Breitbart coven) is attacking them - personally - with "surprise liberal messages!!!;" so it's always fun to see how they react on those rare occasions when a "surprise liberal message" is actually there.

"Happy Feet 2" (written review coming at some point, but it's REALLY good) features as it's "B-story" a pair of Krill named Will and Bill (Matt Damon and Brad Pitt) who break off from their Krill swarm to explore the "next world" - i.e. everything outside the swarm which they had previously believed encompassed the entire universe. (their sequences are the visual standouts in what's already a gorgeous looking movie - the swarm looks like something out of Tree of Life.) Basically, they're here to go through the "animal outside his boundaries as metaphor for existential-transcendance" (the "Happy Feet" movies are kinda weird) bit that the Penguins already did in the first one.

So what has the professionally-grumpy's panties in a bunch about that? Will and Bill are gay.

To be fair, they didn't imagine this - that the two encompass a male/male couple (which Bill seems to be more "aware" of than Will) is the main "for the grownups" joke of the film. But if you want to see some choice venom, look at the comment thread below all that in the link. Yeesh...

Oh well, at least they'll be thrilled that a film dedicated to telling an audience of mostly teenaged girls that abortion-to-save-the-life-of-the-mother is wrong because dying in childbirth will reincarnate you as what amounts to an angel/faerie/superwoman just had a $30 Million midnight opening. Joy.

Escape to the Movies: "Breaking Dawn"

2011-11-18T14:30:00.000-05:00

Bad movie on ETTM...

...bad reimaginings on "Intermission."

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Breaking Dawn, Part 1

Your Next Big Video Game Movie Might Be "RAMPAGE!"

2011-11-18T03:49:00.000-05:00

I've been saying for years that the reason Hollywood keeps failing at making movies out of video games is largely because they keep choosing the wrong games; i.e. they should look beyond the currently-popular crop of big-sellers - overwhelmingly a collection of drably-generic properties built to resemble various popular movies - and toward older and/or more enduring properties originating in an era when the industry was a hair more creative.

Well, producer John Rickard of the reconstituted New Line Cinema has now opted to take exactly HALF of my advice, putting out the call for screenplay pitches for a big-budget adaptation of "RAMPAGE;" a Golden Age arcade classic that was funny, colorful, utterly bizzare... but also a blatant "Brand X" pastiche of popular movies. On the plus side, said popular movies meant "Godzilla," so there ya go.

I'm excited about this on principal (it would be AMAZING if "golden age video games" became Hollywood's new fixation a'la comics) but I'll be interested as hell to see what they come up with... and probably dissapointed as hell when it turns out they just want to make a generic monster movie with a "brand" name attached. People forget this, but there WAS a semblance of a story to "Rampage" - George (gorilla) Lizzie (dinosaur) and Ralph (werewolf) were humans transformed by mad science.

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT: If I was pitching this (I'd take this job in a heartbeat) I'd pitch it as a comedy - embrace the juvenility of the game (it's literally coin-op destruction porn) and do it as a broad raunchy slapstick thing; "Harold & Kumar" but with Godzilla-style monsters (use guys in suits green-screened into "real" cities instead of CGI for added humor) as the leads. In fact, make it an Apatow-style dipshit-meets-girl thing with George (Seth Rogan/Jack Black type) and Lizzie (think Sarah Silverman.) King Kong and Girl-Godzilla fucking? That's funny just on it's own. Maybe Ralph is the bad guy, that'd work. Go all-out with the giant-sized scatology humor: Let the giant gorilla throw his giant gorilla poop. Skyscraper-humping. Big river of monster-pee coming down the street like a tidal-wave. Definitely do the toilet-eating thing from the game. Have one of them make a smokestack into a bong. Murderer's Row of comedians doing bit parts as soldiers/cops/bystanders/etc. Do the "this isn't a cave... we're in a monster's mouth!!!" bit... only they're actually in it's butt.

Two TV Things You Should Know About

2011-11-17T02:42:00.000-05:00

I'm not one of these people who'll try and tell you that TV is "better than the movies" right now because whatever handful of HBO/FX/AMC shows is the big thing at the moment. Please do not spam the comments with stuff I *NEED!!!* to see. Yes, I've seen and like "Community," internet - thank you.

In any case, remember that "Alias/Jessica Jones" series that was supposed to lead Disney/Marvel into the live-action TV biz? Well, it's going ahead, and today it was confirmed that this particular series will be directly-connected to the continuity of the Marvel/Avengers movie universe.

One assumes the main "point" of this connection is allowing Iron Man etc. to turn up as ratings-grabbing cameo parts, but I'm curious if this means it'll have the same commitment to the comic aesthetic as the films generally have had. The series it's based around was a "street-level" view of a superhero-saturated Marvel universe, the lead character being a depowered heroine turned embittered private eye; and the "hook" was seeing her world bumping up against the colorful costumed-hero world in often dark/ironic ways. Also, Luke Cage - a topper on Marvel's "to-do" movie list - is a supporting character, so call this a potential "back door pilot" for him and a host of others. Carol Danvers - aka Ms. Marvel - has also been cast, wonder if they plan on skipping Mar-Vell altogether for her...

Meanwhile, from the "You Can't Make This Stuff Up" file: NBC is bringing back "The Munsters." And, in what sounds too much like a satire of everything wrong with the reboot/remake mentality, the franchise - a cartoonish sitcom spoof about a nuclear family made up of a Frankenstein (dad) Vampire (mom and grandpa) and Werewolf (son) who have a pet dragon - is being reconstituted as (I shit you not) a "dark" hour-long drama that will explore the "origins" of the family. Really.

Titanic 3D trailer

2011-11-16T16:51:00.000-05:00

Disney just made a small fortune off of a 3D re-release of "The Lion King," fortelling what many had suspected and/or bet-on for a few years now. Our next big movie trend: 3D re-releases of movies that today's twentysomethings loved when they were in grade-school.

Next up, "Titanic"; which is conveniently JUST starting to end it's "cool to hate" phase of notoriety and begin it's "appreciated as nostalgiac kitsch" phase (see also: the Backstreet Boys/NKOTB tour). I hope you enjoy faux-ironic recollections of teen-heartthrob "manias," misty-eyed retrospectives of "first big date movie" experiences (both packed with "remember-that!?" references to questional high-school fashion choices) because the entertainment press is going to be soaked with them leading up to this release...

On the other hand - circa-1997 Kate Winslet topless in IMAX 3D? There are worse things...

I wonder, does having this back in public conscious help or hurt Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar push for "J. Edgar?" I mean, it's no secret that he's spent over a decade running as fast as he can away from Jack Dawson...

Incidentally, the next big "90s classic" re-release after this is "Phantom Menace 3D." Raise your hand if you're looking forward to butthurt "Star Wars" fans gravely grumbling about it like they're planning a pilgrimage to Auschwitz.

I Live In a Nation of Idiots

2011-11-16T15:00:00.000-05:00

hat-tip BAD

American readers, do you ever read those wacky news stories about cuss words or cleavage or other random things being "hi-lariously" edited out of movies and TV shows in certain foriegn countries and have nice, good laugh at their silly, backward cultural taboos?

Well, stop it - because YOUR culture is now no better. Telegraph reports that a BBC nature documentary set to air on the Discovery Channel will be edited for it's American broadcast. The reason? The final chapter is about Climate Change - y'know, that thing that the smarties turned out to have been right about the whole time? - and that's considered "controversial" here.

I live in a country where the following things are true:

Knowing what you are talking about is considered a disqualifying characteristic for high office.

"Bruce Jenner's Stepkids Pretend Not To Know They're On TV" is considered a viable broadcast pitch.

The same people who fight for laws declaring that a blob of cell-tissue has human rights fight even harder to declare that adult homosexuals do not.

It is LEGALLY OKAY to bully someone... providing you claim that God told you to.

It is widely accepted as both logical and "moral" that guns be as easy to get as possible, but health insurance should be as difficult to get as possible.

Only 4 in 10 people "believe" in evolution... and almost no one bothers to point out that "believe" is exactly the wrong term to use when describing a proven scientific fact.

DISGRACEFUL.

It says on this blog, and it remains true, that I am proud to be an American. I am, however, utterly disgusted with what my country too often becomes - a collection of proudly-ignorant, self-righteous dolts who prize "gut feeling" above thought, belief above knowledge and regard a lack of intellect as evidence of some "purer" state of being. Superstitious denialists wishing to ignore facts and reason have, of course, a right to exist... but they should not have the influence that has been afforded them for far, far too long.

Happy Birthday to Shigeru Miyamoto

2011-11-16T13:52:00.001-05:00

The greatest video-game designer of all time was born today in 1952. Bow your heads and take notice.

Two Minutes and Thirty Seconds of Pain

2011-11-15T22:52:00.000-05:00

It's been a good couple of days for Tarem Singh; as his "Immortals" - despite having no major stars and an R-rating - opened in first place ahead of presumed boxoffice-frontrunner "Jack & Jill." But now, the trailer for his follow-up "Mirror, Mirror" (set to be the first of next year's two competing Snow White movies to reach screens) has debuted and threatens to blast all that good will to smithereens; thanks to one of the all-time unstoppable forces of movie-sucktitude:

Julia Roberts.

The principal difference between this and "Snow White & The Huntsman" is tone: They're both dropping most of the workload onto a celebrated "actress of a certain age" in a broad villain turn versus a neophyte actress, and both are positioning the heroine as an action girl, but otherwise they're different beasts - "Huntsman" is aiming for LOTR-style high-fantasy, while this wants very (very!) badly to be "Shrek."

That's not necessarily a bad pitch, and I don't hate the idea of reworking the princess/wicked-queen relationship from vanity to romantic rivalry... but wow, does Roberts look awful in the part. She's not a terrible actress, but she's never been especially GOOD and the stuff asked of her here - physical comedy, mugging, some kind of unplaceable campy accent - is waaaaay the hell outside of her limited skillset. This looks like a disaster, though not necessarily an unprofitable one given that it'll be first to the gate.

Big Picture: "Words for Nerds"

2011-11-15T14:14:00.002-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Words for Nerds

Doctor Who Gets a Movie

2011-11-14T15:37:00.001-05:00

David Yates, the BBC TV workhorse who jumped to features for the final few "Harry Potter" movies, makes what can be called a lateral career move - signing on for a feature adaptation of "Doctor Who." The big news, of course, is that it will (apparently) be divorced from previous/current incarnations.

To be fair, this is a franchise that lends itself easily to a reboot. It's actually part of the "gimmick" - the title character is a nigh-immortal time-traveler who gets a fresh new body/personality every time he dies. The series has been running on and off (mostly on) for DECADES, but the overall "continuity" is generally more about recurring/remade characters, stories and motifs than sequence-of-events.

That says, let me lay some "how movies are made now" bets down:

1. It'll be an "origin story" a'la Abrams Trek or Casino Royale, with a new "first" Doctor and lots of big "oh, THAT'S where/why that came from/does that!" reveals for the TARDIS etc.

2. Youngest (in terms of casting) Doctor EVER.

3. Whoever the antagonist is, expect The Master to be hanging around at the margins for a "bad guy in the sequel!" reveal at the very end.

Meryl Streep Seizes Control of British Empire; Demands Oscar as Ransom

2011-11-14T15:01:00.000-05:00

British readers, help me out here: It's been my impression that Margaret Thatcher at this point is really only still lionized by the American right-wing; and that her "legacy" isn't looked upon favorably by anything approaching a majority of her own country. Yes? No?

I mean, is there ANY market for what appears to be a gauzy, mostly-favorable biopic boiling Thatcher down to a "tuff broad takes on the Boys Club" story? Or is this another "British" movie only Americans (well, American AMPAAS-voters) will care about?

"Hunger Games" looks like... a movie... I guess...

2011-11-14T14:32:00.000-05:00

"Hunger Games" - which is basically a U.S./European version of "Battle Royale," which was in turn a Japanese-schoolchildren version of "The Running Man," which was in turn a Reaganomics-era "Rollerball" - now has a trailer, embedded below.

Pro-tip: You do NOT want to be eating or drinking anything around the 1:53 mark...

Seriously; what the FUCK is up with Wes Bentley's beard??

Okay, so I'm the LAST possible person who should be giving anything but the benefit of the doubt to adaptations of niche properties with fiercely-devoted fans; but while I'm sure the various flashes of characters, names, banners, logos, outfits, distinguishing-hairstyles etc. is all "ooh! it's _______!" for HG fans... I'm sorry, this looks pretty underwhelming as a movie. ::ducks::

I've not yet read the series myself, so I don't know whether to blame the material or filmmakers first for this. Are the descriptions of the "futuristic" society in the book ALSO as bland, cheap and "generic dystopia" as they appear here?

This is, of course, another adaptation greenlit largely because someone has mistaken a passionate online fanbase (which means deceptively-MASSIVE traffic numbers) for genuine overall interest... the books sell well, but not "Twilight" or "DaVinci Code" well. Sometimes that kind of thinking works out - in the greater-good "a great movie gets made" sense, certainly not in the financial sense - and we get a "Scott Pilgrim" or a "Watchmen" out of the deal. This does not (so far) look like one of those times.

Escape to the Movies: "Immortals"

2011-11-11T12:57:00.000-05:00

It's good.

"Intermission" has arty action movies.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Immortals

"Snow White & The Huntsman" Looks... Good?

2011-11-11T03:50:00.001-05:00

Tim Burton's incredibly shitty "Alice in Wonderland" made a shit ton of money, so someone in Hollywood decided that "dark fairy tale" was the next big trend; so now we've got two TV shows running with the "fairytale people hiding in modern world" concept, and next year there'll be two seperate live-action "epic fantasy" re-dos of Snow White.

Below, the trailer for the first one - "Snow White & The Huntsman" - (the other is Tarsem Singh's "Mirror Mirror,") which doesn't seem to feature even one Dwarf but DOES feature Charlize Theron as The Wicked Queen, Chris Hemsworth as Thor But With An Axe Instead and Kristen Stewart as the (functionally mute?) title character. It looks, shockingly, not horrible...

What can I say? Recasting the Wicked Queen as a high-fantasy shine on Elizabeth Bathory (I'm literally astonished they were able to resist making her a straight-up vampire) is kind of inspired, the bald-faced LOTR-knockoff aesthetic works and I kind of love that the "X-TREEEEEEME!" version of The Magic Mirror is essentially a medieval T-1000.

Also, let's not be coy; Theron looks amazing. In fact - and there's just no way to say this without sounding mean, but it's true - the least plausible thing in this swords/sorcery/monster/fantasy is the idea that Charlize Theron is grousing around the palace jealous of Kristen Stewart's (or anyone else's, really) looks.

Someone will have to explain to me...

2011-11-10T15:04:00.000-05:00

...Just what the FUCK are people rioting about at Penn State? I mean, yes - I know that they're ostensibly there because coach Joe Paterno was (justly) shitcanned after it came to light that he (and, apparently, what seems like the entire governing aparatus of the school AND the state) covered up multiple cases of child-rape over a period of several decades... but WHY the rioting? How can any thinking human possibly look at this scenario and be angry about about anything other than the fact that he didn't get the axe sooner?

I mean, I can almost understand why people wanted to go head-in-sand-denial when the Catholic Priest abuse scandals started to break - almost. After all, if you take religion at all seriously there's this kind of mystic "human representative of God" aura attached to The Clergy; so I get why that might've been a hurdle for some people.

But this guy? He's not a priest, or some kind of world-leader, or great civic figure, or uber-important doctor or engineer or something... he's just a fucking College Football coach - even without the child-rape scandal, his having or not having a job is literally the least important thing you could POSSIBLY pick to riot about. What the HELL is wrong with people?

Look... the most important thing - the ONLY important thing - is getting justice for the victims here... but if anything else can be taken away from this monstrosity; maybe it should be that the disgraceful lack of perspective being shown by the Penn State rioters is one of the clearest examples EVER of the shameful over-importance placed on the bloated, funding-sucking, resource-diverting institution of College Football. You want a picture of everything wrong with America? Look at these riots, look at what they're rioting FOR... and then look at how much is SPENT on what they're rioting for versus everything else at what are supposed to be institutions of Higher Learning.

"Immortals" is, apparently, very bloody

2011-11-09T15:44:00.001-05:00

The continuing buzz I've heard on Tarsem's "Immortals" - which I've not seen yet - is that the trailers are unable to capture it's real selling point: namely, that it's excessively violent enough to the point of out-goring "300." Here's a newly-released clip (hat tip to io9) of the Gods (gold guys) versus the Titans (gray guys) that seems to suggest what we're in for...

Wait... is that... is that... COMPOSITION!? And... and a... CAMERA TRIPOD!!?? In a FIGHT SCENE!? What a novel approach :)

Has The First Truly Great Video Game Movie Been Made?

2011-11-08T15:27:00.000-05:00

Below, the trailer for "Gyakuten Saiban" - known to Western gamers as "Pheonix Wright: Ace Attorney" - directed by the legendary Takeshi Miike...

I've said it for years: Adapt the games that have their own wholly unique aesthetic and put it in the hands of filmmakers who "get it." If I'm to be proven right, all the better that it be by Miike.

Big Picture: "Science!"

2011-11-08T13:06:00.002-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Science!

Let Go of Your Hate

2011-11-06T23:29:00.000-05:00

It goes without saying that anyone who's reading/watching me should also be reading Drew McWeeny, once known as AICN's "Moriarty," one of the men responsible for "inventing" this ridiculous profession of mine. Drew is a living legend among "film geek" personalities - a onetime video store clerk who became part of the first wave of "name" writers to emerge from the nerd-gossip-site pack; went on to write screenplays for John Carpenter (among others) and has now settled into a star-columnist role at HitFix; where he still finds time to remind everyone why he broke out in the first place.

This is one of those times.

Presently, McWeeny is married with two young sons, and he's been writing up his experiences in sharing classic movies with the boys in a series of columns called "Film Nerd 2.0." It's always been a good read; but when he decided to start introducing them to the "Star Wars" films it became something else entirely - a series of six thoughtful, moving, excellent pieces that now comprise what I think is easily the definitive "Decade Later" look at "Star Wars" post-prequels and post-special edition.

Thus far, every appraisal of "later day" Star Wars has mainly been about older fans being disillusioned or dissapointed about Lucas, alterations and the series in general... and after awhile, it's all become rather irritating. The backlash during "Phantom Menace" was one thing - that what was always going to be a letdown on some level wound up being in fact a pretty lackluster movie overall touched off a combination of delayed-reaction rage ("Wow... I'm really NOT ten years-old anymore. Damn it.") and nerd-nitpick feeding-frenzy that has for good or ill (mostly ill) defined the fan/filmmaker relationship to this day.

Frankly, it got out of hand quickly and it's endurance at this point is kind of sad. Yes, I was as impressed as anyone with Mr. Plinkett's tenacity and attention to detail... but to be honest the REAL value of that series is that it's a TON of really good filmmaking/storytelling advice structured around the review of a movie everyone has seen... as yet another excuse to pass around the bile-bucket and spew about Lucas "raping your childhood?" Guys... it's time to give it a rest. And it's sort of fitting that THIS new appraisal comes from McWeeny, whose original semi-negative review of Phantom Menace as "Moriarty" was a major touchstone of the "wait... a Star Wars movie... sucks?" sweep of the era.

THIS, though, is a guy writing about the reactions of his kids - kids who don't have the weight of expectations and preconceptions that "Generation Zero" SW fans had; who've always known a world where it's ubiquitious and are familiar with it - at first - mainly from the "Clone Wars" cartoons. He made an interesting decision regarding the order in which to screen the films - New Hope and Empire first, THEN all three prequels, then wrapping up with Jedi - that overall seems to have paid off gangbusters.

You should read the whole thing yourself (links below) but what's really great about this is the way it cuts through both the obnoxious fanboy-entitlement AND the very real objective criticisms of the prequels etc. to find a more essential truth that's been ignored by many, myself included, for much too long: That the things that WORK about Star Wars - yes, even in the prequels - are A.) uncoincidentally the things that are bigger and more vital than who-shoots-first or whether this or that creature looks like a puppet and B.) perhaps best understood by children... who, at the end of the day, are who Star Wars has always been for.

GET READING, FOLKS:
A New Hope
Empire Strikes Back
Phantom Menace
Attack of The Clones
Revenge of The Sith
Return of The Jedi

When I see "Phantom Menace" on the big screen for the first time in over a decade in it's "3D" release next year, I'll be doing my damndest to try and watch it on it's own terms; outside the swirl of negativity it's existed in for so many years in the collective psyche. And this series will be the big reason why.

Well done, Mr. McWeeny.

REVIEW: "J. Edgar"

2011-11-05T20:58:00.000-04:00

Seems like everyone else is running their impressions of Eastwood's movie early; so I'll jump in. I may or may not have more in-depth to say in a colyumn at some point, but for now here goes...

SPOILER WARNING

"J. Edgar" is pretty much what one expects both from Eastwood as a director (great performances, terse no-bullshit direction, comprehensive "and then this happened..." plotting and a detached-to-the-point-of-"funerial" tone) and from a present-day biopic about J. Edgar Hoover (grim, scheming and bitter.) It doesn't have much "new" to say about the man or the era he lived, and the main selling-point will be DiCaprio's Oscar-worthy lead performance, but there's nothing "wrong" with it and it's a solid, thoroughly-engaging - if not precisely "entertaining" - work.

If it has an "issue" it's that it'd be difficult to make a "fair" biopic about Hoover that wasn't just a little bit unpleasant to sit through, since Hoover himself was - by even admiring accounts - a fairly unpleasant fellow to be around. The film doesn't deviate very far from the generally-accepted view of the late FBI-founder: Repressed, paranoid, obsessive, arrogant and opportunistic; and to it's credit it presents the sketchier aspects of his methodology - secret files, wiretaps, legal-circumvention, outright fraud and deception - as both innovative and effective (i.e. against the anarchist-bombings of the 20s and gangsters in the 30s) and as petty and fiendish (i.e. his fixation on MLK and The Kennedy Brothers.) Incidentally, somebody needs to tell Kevin Costner that "Burn Notice's" Jeffrey Donovan, as Bobby Kennedy, has stolen his title as owner of the worst New England accent ever committed to film.

It also doesn't reach too far outside the box for an "explanation" of the man - Dustin Lance Black's screenplay is couched comfortably in the widely-rumored thesis that Hoover was a profoundly-closeted homosexual, and that his innability to accept this (along with his myriad other "issues") stemmed from his relationship with his cold, controlling mother. The central relationship is between Hoover and his longtime companion Clyde Tolson (Armie Hammer) who is depicted as having a more self-aware grasp of the nature of their friendship than Hoover himself does.

Interestingly (and possibly without direct intent, since Eastwood has never been one for showy symbolism) it's the small scenes of Hoover breaking his own stone-cold facade in regards to said relationship (and/or his sexuality, such as it is) that the film itself briefly breaks free of the Eastwoodian straightforwardness and attains a kind of melodramatic earnestness; and it stands in such direct contrast to the rest of the film the effect is almost like minimalist-"camp" (critics at my screening compared it to "Mommie Dearest.")

The big showpiece scene, Hoover and Tolson having an unconsumate "lover's quarrel," is almost quaint (approaching caricature) in it's Eisenhower-era rendering of gay men - DiCaprio and Hammer dolled up in slicked-hair and monogrammed bathrobes (!) having a catty back-and-forth about their friends' taste in shoes (!) and escalating to a screaming brawl when one of them mentions a girlfriend (yes, brandy-glasses-hurled-at-the-walls; yes, big cowboy-style haymakers) complete with bloodied kiss and awkward backpedaling. In another, Hoover grieves his dead mother by donning her robe and pearls (you knew it was coming) and talking to himself "as mother" in the mirror, Norman Bates style, before crumpling up into a sobbig fetal position.

If there is ONE thing that doesn't work at all, it's some of the makeup. The film leaps back and forth through Hoover's life and career without the aid of subtitled dates; relying on multiple stages of old-age makeup to clue us in to where/when we are... and it only looks good some of the time. Naomi Watts (as Hoover's secretary Mrs. Gandy) has the most subtle work of it, though she seems to be aging about 1/2 slower than everyone else. DiCaprio actually fares best, which is appropriate, though given how differently the public tends to percieve him as an actor (re: an "eternally boyish" guy who's actually approaching middle-age and DOES look it sans makeup) it's possible that he NEVER appears fully "himself" over the course of it - his final "elderly" appearance makes him look an awful lot like John Voigt. Sadly, Armie Hammer is just a little too young (a DECADE younger than DiCaprio) a little too tall and in far too good a shape to be plausibly transformed into an elderly man for the later scenes. His performance is fine, but the makeup-appliances make him look like a zombie as opposed to "old."

Overall, it's one of those movies that's more "admirable" than "likable," but probably more worth seeing than a lot of what'll be out right now. Plus it's going to be up for a boatload of awards so you might as well.

Escape to the Movies: "Tower Heist"

2011-11-04T14:53:00.000-04:00

It sucks. Don't pretend that's a surprise.

"Intermission" is about the "Akira" remake.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Tower Heist